How to make amends?

Just the words "hard fucking" get me hard.

Christ. I need to get laid.



I wouldn't bank on that. She's a redhead, and I have yet to meet a redhead who is a goody-goody.



Yeah but...come on. TL's role is more like Alex in Fatal Attraction. A real scenery chewer. Much more...ahem...meaty role. :D
 
Yeah but...come on. TL's role is more like Alex in Fatal Attraction. A real scenery chewer. Much more...ahem...meaty role. :D

But keep in mind that like Alex in Fatal Attraction, TL is definitely not the most attractive of the lot...don't you want a role where your hotness can be shown in all it's glory? ;)
 
But keep in mind that like Alex in Fatal Attraction, TL is definitely not the most attractive of the lot...don't you want a role where your hotness can be shown in all it's glory? ;)



How about I play the former love of your life who got away or something like that? Who shows up at your door after years apart and tries to talk you out of some of the machinations of your vendetta against TL? But nothing will sway you so, as our heated discussion builds to a shouting match, we eventually wind up fucking doggie style on the floor. :p
 
How about I play the former love of your life who got away or something like that? Who shows up at your door after years apart and tries to talk you out of some of the machinations of your vendetta against TL? But nothing will sway you so, as our heated discussion builds to a shouting match, we eventually wind up fucking doggie style on the floor. :p

That's spot-on! pmann, can you make this happen?
 
That's spot-on! pmann, can you make this happen?

It's up to Culloden. He is playing your role now since you dropped out.

Not to bring this back on topic, but what is next for TL? And you mentioned that some people that saw the stuff against TL couldn't believe it... Are these like her close friends and family? Any word from the boss? What's next for her? Are you leaving her alone?
 
Plus, if I'm in, I need to get my wife's permission. That may require getting Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford in for at least a cameo.
 
It's up to Culloden. He is playing your role now since you dropped out.

Not to bring this back on topic, but what is next for TL? And you mentioned that some people that saw the stuff against TL couldn't believe it... Are these like her close friends and family? Any word from the boss? What's next for her? Are you leaving her alone?

What is next for ms_intrigue is up to her. Assuming she doesn't try to contact my friend again and assuming she shows at least some change in her ways, I won't bother her again. But the nuclear option is still in the background, just in case.

No word from the boss, but that doesn't surprise me. However, I'm sure that one day soon ms_intrigue will find that her job is downsized, or she chooses to leave over the fact that everybody knows her sexual proclivities...it can't be easy to work in a place like that, poor thing!

Those who said they "couldn't believe it" changed their tune when they heard more. The fact that they asked to hear more said a lot, I think.

One in particular was a college friend of hers that I located on Facebook. At first she thought it was a practical joke. When the light finally dawned she was amazed that she hadn't seen it before, but said now a lot of things made sense. Most of the reaction has been like that.
 
As a manager myself, I have to say that if someone from outside the organization contacted me about an employee, and that information had no bearing on the employee's job performance, I'd ignore it.
 
As a manager myself, I have to say that if someone from outside the organization contacted me about an employee, and that information had no bearing on the employee's job performance, I'd ignore it.



Agreed. Managers have to be careful about personal information regarding employees. And they sure would have to be able to prove why they demote or fire someone and prove it's about their job performance quality. A manager better be able to directly prove why one's behaviour off the job has direct bearing upon job performance.
 
As a manager myself, I have to say that if someone from outside the organization contacted me about an employee, and that information had no bearing on the employee's job performance, I'd ignore it.

And they might. But they might not. It's a roll of the dice for ms_intrigue on that one.
 
Agreed. Managers have to be careful about personal information regarding employees. And they sure would have to be able to prove why they demote or fire someone and prove it's about their job performance quality. A manager better be able to directly prove why one's behaviour off the job has direct bearing upon job performance.

On one hand, yes. On the other hand...

ms_intrigue lives in North Carolina, which is an at-will employment state. From the NC Department of Labor:

The term "Employment-at-Will" simply means that unless there is a specific law to protect employees or there is an employment contract providing otherwise, then an employer can treat its employees as it sees fit (including the assignment of demeaning tasks) and the employer can discharge an employee at the will of the employer for any reason or no reason at all. It is also up to each employer to decide if its employees may see their own personnel file or not.
(emphasis mine)

I got that from here, where you can read much more.

Besides that...

I don't live in North Carolina, but I do run a business, and I have several employees. All of my employees are awesome and do their jobs in a kick-ass manner, so I hope they all work for me forever. :D

With that said, if I wanted to fire one of them, I certainly could. Even if the state is not "at will" there are plenty of ways around things like this, as anyone who has managed for any period of time knows. Something as simple as messing with your budget (moving money around and then having to cut some hours) or changing their schedules can be enough to make someone want to leave.

It happens quite a bit. It leads to very little someone can prove in court. So unemployment kicks in and they look for a job elsewhere.

No, it's not fair. But it happens.
 
Last edited:
On one hand, yes. On the other hand...

ms_intrigue lives in North Carolina, which is an at-will employment state. From the NC Department of Labor:

(emphasis mine)

I got that from here, where you can read much more.

Besides that...

I don't live in North Carolina, but I do run a business, and I have several employees. All of my employees are awesome and do their jobs in a kick-ass manner, so I hope they all work for me forever. :D

With that said, if I wanted to fire one of them, I certainly could. Even if the state is not "at will" there are plenty of ways around things like this, as anyone who has managed for any period of time knows. Something as simple as messing with your budget (moving money around and then having to cut some hours) or changing their schedules can be enough to make someone want to leave.

It happens quite a bit. It leads to very little someone can prove in court. So unemployment kicks in and they look for a job elsewhere.

No, it's not fair. But it happens.


Yes, I know you're right. There are ways to get around things as an employer, and I have witnessed employees run off jobs with tactics used that you mentioned.

Meanwhile, this brings up a new question. Are you concerned at all that TL would attempt to sue you for slander and/or libel at some point? I mean, chasing down her college friends on Facebook and everything else??
 
I work in an "at will" state as well, so I'm familiar with the law.

Here's how I'd look at it.

Does she do her job? y/n
Is firing her over the alleged offence worth the potential trouble, remembering that women can be a "protected class"? y/n

Of the four possibilities, only one gets her fired.
 
Meanwhile, this brings up a new question. Are you concerned at all that TL would attempt to sue you for slander and/or libel at some point? I mean, chasing down her college friends on Facebook and everything else??

Not at all. Almost all the information I have on her was actually found online. It was just a matter of piecing it all together in a proper timeline. Anything that wasn't found online was something she shared directly with me (such as admitting that she tried to contact my friend over and over, for instance) or something that was given to me by someone else, which I could then verify.

As for contacting her friends...Facebook is the public domain. If she chose not to use certain privacy features, that was her decision. She has fixed that little problem now, but everything was public up until only a few weeks ago.

Finally, I made sure to consult an attorney about all of this before I did anything at all. The bottom line is that slander and/or libel can't be proven if you put the information out there yourself...and she did.

But let's say she did it anyway. She would have to prove that anything I have said is false. She can't do that, but I can prove it's true. She has no recourse here.
 
I work in an "at will" state as well, so I'm familiar with the law.

Here's how I'd look at it.

Does she do her job? y/n
Is firing her over the alleged offence worth the potential trouble, remembering that women can be a "protected class"? y/n

Of the four possibilities, only one gets her fired.

I agree with you. But women as a "protected class" is a far-reaching argument in this situation (unless she is pregnant, of course).

I'm not saying that she will get fired. I'm not saying that she won't. I'm just saying that it's up to her employer, and that's where the roll of the dice comes in.
 
You could have just made her far more popular in her boss's eyes. I am going to stereotype (because I like getting in trouble) and say that maybe the male librarians aren't regularly known for getting a lot. Maybe he will give her a raise.
 
It can't be all of the above at the same time? Having just ONE motive for something is definitely not a requirement.



She couldn't contact him, but that doesn't mean she didn't TRY. I knew she was trying, over and over, because she said so. She was puzzled as to why he didn't return her calls or answer his emails. She honestly thought that she was such hot shit that he wouldn't possibly be ignoring her, so she assumed he wasn't getting them, and thus continued to try. What an idiot. :rolleyes:

Wouldn't this imply he never told her to leave him alone? That seems to contradict the stalker portrayal that has been painted. Maybe they parted on far different terms then your friend has led you and his wife to believe. And don't say that isn't possible, because ANYTHING is possible.
 
Wouldn't this imply he never told her to leave him alone? That seems to contradict the stalker portrayal that has been painted. Maybe they parted on far different terms then your friend has led you and his wife to believe. And don't say that isn't possible, because ANYTHING is possible.

If ANYTHING is possible then they could be fucking like rabbits right now while his wife watches. It's safe to say they certainly are not. :rolleyes:

He did tell her to leave him alone. That was one of the first things I asked him when I started to think about doing all of this. Because if he hadn't taken that step and made it crystal clear to her, then she might actually have reason to keep going after him like a bitch in heat.

He told me that it was one of the first things he and his wife encountered during the counseling sessions -- cut off all contact with anyone and everyone who would be a threat, a temptation, etc. That included ms_intrigue. That was done a long time ago.
 
If ANYTHING is possible then they could be fucking like rabbits right now while his wife watches. It's safe to say they certainly are not. :rolleyes:

He did tell her to leave him alone. That was one of the first things I asked him when I started to think about doing all of this. Because if he hadn't taken that step and made it crystal clear to her, then she might actually have reason to keep going after him like a bitch in heat.

He told me that it was one of the first things he and his wife encountered during the counseling sessions -- cut off all contact with anyone and everyone who would be a threat, a temptation, etc. That included ms_intrigue. That was done a long time ago.


I understand what you are saying, but you did say that TL was confused as to why he was not responding to her. That implies that she did not know there would be no further contact.

I believe your friend told you he cut off contact with her. I believe he took all the appropriate actions when he was pressed to with his wife. But your statement, along with his track history (and yes I do believe he his redeemable, all people are...including TL, even though what she did was reprehensible) leaves room for doubt. He may have told you and his wife what you guys wanted to hear, but there is no way to truly tell how things were left between he and TL.

That does not leave TL without culpability because the guy is now married, and she should have left him alone without needing to be told. But maybe he was not as firm with her as you think. After all, you are playing clean up crew now, I don't believe he had the balls to be as firm with her as he says he was.
 
I would like to throw in that some people never understand it when someone else breaks up with them. No matter how nicely, firmly or iron-fisted it is done. They will keep challenging that breakup, questioning it, trying to resurrect what once was, not accepting that is no longer a possiblity.

TL may very well fall into that category.

Sometimes, when you get very close to someone, it is very difficult to accept when that kind of connection is broken.
 
Back
Top