A Poet Walks Into a Bar . . .

Ok. I typed bar because it was shorter than erotica site poetry forum. But so here you are. Maybe you are new. Maybe you are not. Please introduce yourself by letting us know a few things at your discretion.

Possible offerings: favorite poet that you have read, what brought you here, if you are currently in bondage hanging from the ceiling with only the use of your hands, etc.

I am in New York. I enjoy reading BJ Ward, Sharon Olds, Edna St. Vincent Millay and Marianne Moore. I am currently unfettered though full of designs. I was brought here by the dirty stories in the other part of the forum. I like watching documentaries and show jumping.

Ok. You're up! battah battah battah battah . . .

I'm Annie in England married to Ron for 13 years this September. I arrived for the stories and stayed for the poetry and banter. I read more or less anything but I do like a good murder. I don't watch an awful amount of Television because I spend far too much time on Facebook, but when I do I like NCIS, Cold Case and the various talent shows (Britains Got Talent etc mainly for the auditions which are often hilarious)

UnderYourSpell said:

. . . I arrived for the stories and stayed for the poetry and banter. I read more or less anything but I do like a good murder.)

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Hellooooo Annie!

Currently on the shores of lake St. Clair harnessing moose to a Pick-up I got real cheap. If I so desire, I can with installments, purchase an engine. As it is, it's quaint. I can fill the bed up with feed for the moose. Hence, we can go forever. I have a radio that picks up station that stopped broadcasting a long time ago (outside Macon, it was a micro-station in a Roadhouse). I am happy that it can pick it up in the background radiation. The poetry of Little Walter read by Claude Debussy is a key inspiration. Along with the abandoned Stuckey's that now sell porn. The butter is very good.

Mmmm butter. Hiya Micah!

Micahb2's post is a hard act to follow...a moose?! I am envious.

I'm originally from a small town in NY in the Hudson Valley, but I have lived most of my adult life outside of the US. I just returned after 13 years abroad, and now am facing the inevitable reverse culture shock (starting with supermarkets with fork lifts in the aisles and TV ads). Right now I am technically homeless (!) and floating around the NW, but I will settle in the DC area unless something brilliant in terms of another overseas post comes up shortly. It's not my favorite place but it makes the most sense. In terms of poetry - I am a complete novice, and here to learn. I'm not a great fan of the rhyming/form ye olde English type...but hey, maybe I can learn to appreciate it.

I'm Bronze in Louisiana. I am really angry right now, but I'm working through it. If I seem hostile at times, it's nothing personal.

bronzeage said:

I'm Bronze in Louisiana. I am really angry right now, but I'm working through it. If I seem hostile at times, it's nothing personal.

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You've seemed quiet to me. I hope you find a happy place or two.

I'm Angeline and I've been at Lit since 1999 and a forum member since 2002. Lauren Hynde brought me to the forum from Lit Chat. Before that I had no clue that porn forums (or certainly poetry forums within porn forums) existed.

I'm originally from central New Jersey, about equidistant to NYC and Philly. In 2004 I moved to Maine to be with Eagleyez, who also posts on the forum (when he feels like it). We now live in a small city in the mountains of western North Carolina.

I started writing bad poetry in junior high and became steadily more interested in writing less bad poetry. I studied literature and writing and became an English teacher (middle school baby: I'm tough as nails!), and then an editor. I play with words for a living and consider myself lucky to do so. I love to read and write everything and most of all I love to learn. This forum has helped me learn and grow tremendously and I feel a debt of gratitude for that to many here...and some who are not here anymore.

A poet walks into a bar . . .

. . . and says, "Keep 'em a coming till I can no longer a stanza."

Hi, my name is Ben and I am a denizen of the sinister coast. I usually haunt the AH. However, there are times when I feel I'm not getting properly ignored over there, so I wander over here to be ignored by the rockin'est forum on the boards!

What I know about poetry couldn't fill an amoeba's condom, unless maybe it was owned by an amoeba with an especially tiny dick or by one whose condom was already mostly filled with his own microbial ejecta. Then my knowledge of poetry would fit neatly inside. Symbolism mystifies me. I wouldn't know a metaphor or an anthropomorphism if one leapt from the page and bit me on the ass. Still, I have a passionate admiration for those who do, and, with or without rhyme or reason, can write the stuff and make it sound unlike the lilting meter of Dr. Seuss.

So, I come here mostly to read—to read and to express my enjoyment of good poetry with a silent raising of an eyebrow. It may not seem like much of a contribution to some, but I trust the true poets among you understand.

It's a small world. Like Angeline, I'm from central Jersey initially and did undergraduate work at Seton Hall where thankfully the Dominicans saved me from my earlier parochial education with the Sisters of Mercy, which I soon learned was an oxymoronic order, at least back then. I think I learned that in the first grade when Sister Mary Hughes frowned after I scratched my groin because it itched and thought I was destined for hell because of it.

I became interested in Lit because I always thought the sensual and the spiritual are both mysterious good bedfellows worthy of poetry, and I don't mean Ooh Baby Yeah Baby Baby or T.S. Eliot High Anglican verse.

I have lived most of my life in Vermont, Robert Frost country, but I suppose I'm still mostly a smartass Jersey Mick. I'm also older than most of the others here which in part may explain why some of my metaphors are unintelligible.

PS: Yes, there is junk poetry on this website, but I have read poems here that are as good as anything I've read elsewhere.

A poet walks into a bar...

...but has to be carried out of it.

I've undoubtedly Shared Too Much over my years here, but if I had a reboot on that, what random facts might I deem cringeproof enough to tell you all about? Lessee:

• I live in Seattle. Unless you have me on Ignore, the secret's pretty much out on that. The list of cities I might consider living in includes Portland (Oregon) and maybe, if I had to, Denver. Salt Lake City if I was desperate. San Francisco would be cool if you bumped my net worth by a magnitude. Twenty years ago, I would have said Vancouver, BC, but the traffic there is way worse than Seattle and we have the fourth worst traffic in the USA. Yay us.

• I studied psychology in college. Rats in T-mazes, not counseling or clinical. It didn't work out.

• I work in the software industry, primarily with database software. You're quite right—that doesn't sound very interesting, but it pays pretty well and I don't have black lung disease.

• I first came to Lit looking to read the stories because I wanted to write fiction at the time and thought that erotic fiction would be pretty damn easy to write. I mean, you put two (or, as I learned here, three, four, whatever) people in a situation and then simply write about their sexual encounters. Turns out it is way harder than it looks. But, hey—poems only need you to write a few lines of vaguely imagined metaphoric glop! So I changed from being a Bad Writer of Fiction to being a Bad Writer of Poetry.

• The list of Poets That I Especially Like changes all the time. Among more or less contemporary poets, James Wright seems to usually be on it. Dorianne Laux is on it. Kim Addonizio is on it, but that may just be because I think she's hot. Maybe Ms. Laux, too. James Wright is not hot, at least to me.

• Some random things and people: Tristan und Isolde, Robert Rauschenberg, Jane Austen and Raymond Chandler, San Juan Island, Modernist architecture, William Morris wallpaper, birds, London, forests and mountains and sea, women.
  
  Not intended to be a comprehensive list.

PandoraGlitters said:

Please introduce yourself by letting us know a few things at your discretion.

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Well, I initially dragged my behind over here to the forums from chat; Boomerengue prodded me a bit-Lord love her. I used a false persona (surprise!) but that was to protect my very young children, who are now grown with sex lives of their own...

So, I have many and varied poets on my fave-to-read list, including some wonderful PoBo denizens both current and currently not here in their old guises anyhow. As well, I love the poems of Service and Poe, and Cohen and so many lovely lyrics that I cannot list them all. Yes, I believe many lyricists are poets and poets could change up roles as well, if they'd just shake the cobwebs outta their musical souls.

I hail from north-eastern (damn near Saskatchewan) Alberta, and have even shown many folks a map of where in heck I am in the world. Tonight I'm writing from Edmonton as I'm moving the latest fledgling into her own apartment in prep for her first year in University. I'm a very proud Mom.

So, that's prolly TMI for all you old lechers that have drooled after Champie's youthful ass, but what the heck, I had one of those once, now it's just shaped with experience. Keep writing!

a poet walks into a bar . . .

. . . ouch!

hmmmm. Well, about me. I found this forum two years or so ago now, and was totally impressed by both the writing and the conversation. I like reading, I like writing, and I like conversation about reading and writing--and here I get to dabble at all of the above.

I've lived all over the states and spent eighteen months in the northwest of England. At present I live in Tennessee, but I've lived in maybe 26 different houses/apartments in my life for periods which range from four weeks to eight years.

I tend to lurk (and read) more than post. When school starts, I don't have time to do even that. This fall will be even worse because I'm going to be teaching freshman comp. I'm an MFA student in creative writing . I'm mostly studying fiction, but I enjoy poetry and sometimes approach crafting something I like.

I like reading all sorts of poets--from Robert Burns to John Donne to Anne Sexton to Billy Collins to Charles Simic, to Edgar Allen Poe, to Lewis Carroll, to Dr Suess, to John Ashberry, to Louise Gluck . . . ummm, I could go on but I'm not sure I'll ever find a good place to stop.

I like to write form as well as free verse, rhyme or not--it all depends on my mood and the topic and the time of day and the phases of the moon. Recently, I've been a bit macabre because of some things in real life that I need to sort out in my head.

I've already done this somewhere else on this site (but it's gone now!) You hooked me with A Poet walked into a bar...cruel joke. It looks like work here. (Ah, Friday night, pour me another DeLord) You want to know something about me? I could write a book (Oh, thats right ...did that too.)

My first taste of the erotic was the book 'Candy' (Rub a Dub Rub A Dub) that and the fold out Christmas card that the bus driver showed me of Santa Claus. (now I know why he's so jolly!)

I joined the Navy after highschool What an education that was. I saw many exotic countries from the inside of a bar, but I wasn't a poet then. Sometimes I wonder if I am now.

Taking my discharge in Cali after four years of floating in the USS Twilight Zone, I investigated the bars of L.A. (Fuck, I should be writing this down)

A Poet walks into a biker bar In San Diego; eventualy he gets his ass kicked; no one is really mad at him though, it's just a thing that happens. The bikers buy him a beer, shoot some pool and talk about motorcycles and women.
Ten years later He's drinking beer, shooting pool, and riding motorcycles and women every day.

Where was I? Poets/Poetry/Stuff: I think Lord Byron rocks, Haiku can be fun (I'm counting sylables anyway) Query letters are like Poison Ivy, irritating as hell and endured till healed, There's no bad poetry, only bad poets.

Thirty years later he has no beer, motorcycles, or women... the table needs new felt too.

A poet walks into a bar ...
Well, what can I say about me.
October born 'neath Libra's star
My real name's not Jett seven-three.
Married (in love), we've three cute girls
It feels sometimes like life just whorls
With work and school, music, sport,
Time spent at home's a rare comfort.
I write a bit; poems and prose
Can play the keyboard, compose song
Like working with wood, play ping pong
I love to read; most anything goes
Except for horror, fanfic shit
or 'self-help' books. But I like Lit!

(Pushkin's rolling in his grave )

...and in a way that bar was in a far away world but in another way it was right in front of that poet as well as behind, well, it surrounded that poet, so there was no way to not be within it - the bar, within the bar, smallish venue, not so much cramped as cozy, but it still existed in a world that was really far away...

How did I end up here? Well it all started one night in 2004, late that year, December - maybe November, maybe both; wondered about trying to write erotic stories; thought it would be a breeze, and lots of fun, and expected it to offer a satisfactory outlet for surplus energies. Well, just like it's already been mentioned, I was in for a quick and rude awakening, because it was anything but a breeze but something about it hooked me and I couldn't quit trying, thinking about it, working on it... then one day I glanced elsewhere, noticed this place, wondered again, made what I hoped was a polite enough entrance, introduced myself, and... well it was a good move I'll tell ya that.

Not near as prolific or active as I was a few years ago - couple years ago fell on one of those seesaw traps, where one day I'm certain poetry is something I can do and enjoy doing, and then another day feel just as certain that I was only deluding myself, that I really want to go back to erotic fiction, then it's 'nah not erotic, just general fiction with maybe a few erotic splashes'... and then another day, it's 'who the heck am I kiddin'? I ain't no writer or poet of any kind and can't ever remember when I ever really ached to be so.' So then I put it all away and try to do other things.

But I always end up walking by this joint, look in the window, and then open up a few old files... reminisce.

Last year my wife talked me into coming back to her home country and I was a bit reluctant about it - until we got here, and now I can't get enough of it and want to stay as long as possible. So that's another factor: there's so much poetry and erotica and novelty and raw concrete imagery going on all the time out there - no way to do anything but just stick the hand in iit and see what comes out. But also, because there's so much poetry and erotica all over the place I have a hard time sitting down to give a good thorough treatment, complete with finishing touches - never can seem to finish stuff.

Well crap. Didn't mean to jabber this much.

A hmmnmmish wave at the old friends and a gentlemanly bow/handshake to the blood I've not yet offered formal greetings to.

Yeah, once you step into this bar...

Great thread Dora. But it needs some more levity. Click LIKE if you agree.

Yes, it's a love song just perfect for this forum.

Some really good writers (and poets) here, unlike me. I'm here because the devil finds work for idle hands, and there are few hands idler than mine.

Okay for you Angeline:

Descartes walked into a bar and the bartender queried, "the usual?" Descartes stroked his beard, said "I think not," and disappeared.

Your thing was funnier. But I tried.

Everyone not already addressed + Angeline: what a lovely community I am meeting. Interesting folks and great introductions. Hiya!

I’m from England originally, now a proud Canadian citizen living in Lotus Land (west coast), just up the coast from T-zed.

I too migrated here from the Chat room, started out writing stories (long since gone). I can’t really remember how or why I began writing poetry, I have always read and enjoyed it but never attempted to write any. My main hobby was art, drawing, water colours, but then MS made that too difficult to do so I began to concentrate on poetry.

My taste in literature is eclectic, everything from classics (Dickens, Foster} to new authors (Patrick DeWitt, Esi Edugyn). Poets? Again everything from Keats to Cohen, Larkin to Ondaatje.

I've learnt a huge amount in this forum, if a person really wants to learn, this place is almost as good as a course.

I am Fool, Lefty, Mike, That Asshole.

I am either here to look pretty or sweep floors.

I live in Kansas and sweat a alot. Or freeze a lot.

Reading escapes me, I just look at the pictures.

Whiskey is good. Cigars is good. Fucking off is excellent.

A Poet Walks Into a Bar . . .

and sits down next to an old drunk. The old drunk says "If you buy me a beer I'll grant you one wish." The poet laughs and agrees. The old guy gets his beer, drinks it down and looks over at the poet and winks. Suddenly there's a fireworks display in miniature on the bar and when the air clears there sits a little bitty kids piano and a little bitty man sitting there playing it! The old drunk grins and asks "Did you get your wish?" and the poet looks at him like he's insane. He says "Of course not, you ol bum! Did you think I was asking for a twelve inch pianist???

My name is Boo, but I'm too old for that so y'all can call me Beth. I live in Middle Tennessee (Niniane- where are you?) and hate it here except that my 3 Princely Boyos live her so I guess I'm planted. I'm not really a poet, but I like messing around w/ words and have gotten lucky a time or two! I started in Chat and Angeline drug me over here. Don't know what she saw, but I've learned a lot here and have no regrets. (Champ and Tris- did I know you guys in Chat?? PM me w/ your chat nics if you like. My brain is growing old and slow but it likes to be tweaked!) I've never read a poet I didn't like. I guess Cohen would be my favorite, and Millay, and Donne and some others, but mostly Cohen.

Thanks to you, Angeline, for showing me this place and Thanks to all of you who have oohed and ahhed and otherwise been so supportive. Theres a special place in this black heart that is brightly lit by you guys!

Hi Beth ..Say, do you know how to get a question to Aspasia & Fern? I don't see a link to a submission portal ...e-mail Literotica?
Thanks for the story

BooMerengue said:

My name is Boo, but I'm too old for that so y'all can call me Beth. I live in Middle Tennessee (Niniane- where are you?)

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Nice to meet you, Beth. I'm near Memphis--western TN.

HarryHill said:

Hi Beth ..Say, do you know how to get a question to Aspasia & Fern? I don't see a link to a submission portal ...e-mail Literotica?
Thanks for the story

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Hi Harry-
I don't know who Aspasia and Fern are. I'd help if I could, but I have no clue. What are you trying to do? Someone here may know.