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There's to little of them.
If one is truly a gentleman it would seem it bad form to declare one’s self a gentleman. This is where actions speak louder than words...
Four years. What a ride.
This thread
Claim her, love her tenderly, fuck her ferociously, show her affection and compassion, calm her fears, spoil her with consistency, protect her, don’t let her go. That, Sir, is what being a man is about.
Love this indie.
...and to Callmetim and Honey....I have no regrets about pulling this thread from the dark recesses of Lit and attempting to keep its ember glowing softly...
~c
Thanks for sharing, Cassie
When one's actions match their words is where fantasy meets reality.
The disturbing thing about so few men bein a gentleman is that it’s should be such a natural and comfortable role for a man.
Weirdly rare though
Thanks for sharing, Cassie
This is an interesting query on a multitude of levels. I can only answer from my perspective, yet I feel these attributes would be for any male, who other’s feel is a gentleman. First and foremost, a gentleman is an earned moniker given by others and NOT self imposed. It is determined by our unwavering actionable commitment over and above our words. It is a voluntary “choice” not simply a passage through bloodline.
1. I believe true unadulterated “Self-Respect” is the one true quality a gentleman must always possess… Why? Because this shows the outside world, “Who a man truly is, what they allow and NOT allow in their life.” In other words, “Defined boundaries.”
2. "Integrity“… When a man carries through displaying his words and actions both publicly AND privately the same quality of self. This is his integrity. Being a passionately driven businessman determined to "get the job done” at all costs AND having this same intensity with his private relationships is his integrity. His words AND actions will mirror themselves. Saying one thing publicly and doing something privately is deceitful and poor integrity.
3. "Kindness“ at all cost. Not superficial niceness… Deep considerate civility and kindness. Anybody can be nice and within some circumstances this is enough, yet it shows little depth and connection to others’ emotional well-being with meaningful empathy and consideration. It is a placating tactic and nothing more. Make someone "feel” they are loved and worthy over superficially placating others. Knows and uses well groomed manners in all environments. Versed in speaking well of janitors and CEO’s in their settings. With appropriate ‘please’ and 'thank you’
4. "Honor“…. Say what you will do and "DO IT!” Don’t quibble, waiver or make false promises. Make your word a true bond. People may NOT like your forthright candor or style, yet when they KNOW who will diligently get the job done CONSISTENTLY every single time, not swayed by peer pressure or popular opinion, honor is sealed in cement.
5. "Chivalrous“… Unpretentiously giving up of self for the sake of others’. Raising the defeated up and commending them of their valiant efforts. [Sports figures and players used to actually do this. It’s getting harder to find this anymore.]
6. ”Active Listener/Effective Communicator“… Closing one’s mouth and listening with both ears. Opening eyes and observing all the subtle nuances of body language. Mirroring back the words said with empathy and meaning. Well spoken and articulate.
7. ”Humble“… Knowing and admitting personal mistakes/flaws. Knowing how and when to show humility. This is NOT naivety or being gullible.
8. ”Generous“… with time, wisdom, and resources. Looking for ways to help others benefit. A servant leader, and his purposeful commitment to interpersonal kindness creating a positive environment.
9. ”Positive“… Contagiously, Infectious and gracious attitude towards life and people.
10. ”Lifelong learner“… Maintaining a true teachable posture. Learning something new and putting it into practice every day. Emotionally secure, mentally acute, well informed, and never ashamed to ask for help.
11. ”Confident“… Knows full well the value of what he offers and brings to the table. Seeking competence NOT perfection in others as well as himself. Is purposeful and intentional in efforts.
12. ”Courageous“… willing to and stepping into environments potentially tenuous or hazardous to his physical, emotional and mental well-being.
13. ”Humor“… a lighthearted jovial mannerism, quick sacastic wit not to mention how to weave an erotic flavorful spin into any given conversation.
I am a male by birth and making these an active part of everyday practice is my choice and privilege to give of myself to others.
essay by @apassionateman (tumblr blog)
I don't think a gentlemanly character comes naturally, although i do think it comes more easily to some than to others.
I think those qualities have to be taught, practiced, internalized, desired, sought after, and then continually refined. Integrity has to be something that a man wants as an end in itself, not only for what it can bring him.
Good character stands up under pressure, and it stands the test of time.