policywank
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2007
- Posts
- 2,774
I'm moving more to embrace my dominant side, and the more I read the more I realise there is a huge disconnect between the image of Femdom and what the majority of dominant women want.
Femdom porn leaves me completely cold, and it wasn't until I stumbled upon blogs and tumblers celebrating the beauty of submissive men and read others thoughts on the matter, that I realised why.
In my view Femdom porn completely dehumanises the dynamic and reduces the Domme to a latex clad boot wearing 2 dimensional cut out figure(not that there is anything wrong with latex and boots if you enjoy them, but it should not be a requirement ) ... And completely leaves the woman and her pleasure out of the picture.
So here I want to share, and ask others to share, links and discussions and pictures that celebrate the dominant woman and submissive man in a beautiful way.
No sneering ice queens and worthless worms please!
The femdom images in porn also leave me cold as well. I think they are really geared towards men and men's desires even when they are submissive. It sort of misses the whole point of a dominant female to me.
I prefer the notion of a dominant woman turning everything on its head. What would she want of her man and how would she lead him......not how would he like to be led? I enjoy my man's submission and now that he is properly trained there is no need to impose my will forcefully (there never was really).
Nor do I get any pleasure in humiliating or torturing him. Abusing the person who has given such a wonderful gift of submission and love would make me an evil bitch, not a Dom. I think any Dom needs to have great compassion, acceptance and understanding. Being his Dom has taught me a lot about what it is to lead and assume responsibility - I feel as though don't get to indulge in blaming others. He is strong in his submission and so I must be strong in my leadership.
As he has opened himself to me and gracefully laid his deepest secrets and desires at my feet I have tried to recognize how difficult that is for any person. I take what he is given me and treat it with respect, not step on it. As you say there is nothing wrong with latex boots and a good spanking when he has earned it. And he has so I indulge him and enjoy doing it. While others would see that as punishment we both recognize it as something he craves deeply.
I make the decisions and dominate our day-to-day life as well as our sex life. He gladly submits and sincerely appreciates the direction and leadership. If that isn't Dom and Sub I don't know what is. There is no need for cruelty or humiliation. The clarity of our arrangement is a calming force in our hectic lives because our souls are open to each other unlike with any person I know.
His ultimate submission to me is the acceptance of my other sexual partners (no I am not submissive to them - that would be an offence to my Sub husband). I understand that isn't for everyone and certainly needn't be a part of a Dom/Sub relationship. For us it is the ultimate test of his obedience. It is his way of putting me and my pleasure first. I have other ways of putting him first which also includes a varied sex life for him as well. But always with my control and his submission because that is the way we like it.