Hitting on men

So true...

bone251 said:

Just before my divorce a past client called me with a referral. I had helped her through her divorce a few years before. I told her I was getting divorce. She asked the final date. SHe was hot and dozen years younger then me. She called me 2 days after the D and said she was comming over to fuck my brains out in an hour. She did.

Then she found I like tease and denial and I found she like tease and denial more.

It was a great fling.

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The mysteries of the female mind. They have their own clock. We should get lessons starting in Jr Hi on how to figger them out.

I've always been one to ask guys out. I quickly figured out that I hated not knowing more than I hated rejection, so the first guy I asked out was in senior year of high school - we ended up dating until after college, when I was courted by a coworker and swept off my feet....

I asked my ex out, too, starting a 20 year, erm, learning experience... Here was my fishing analogy: I knew what sort of guy I wanted: smart, unintimidated by smart women. From that, I decided on my bait: a book by a female historian (Tuchman's The Guns of August, FWIW). I worked somewhere with alot of volunteers who generally filled the bill, so I knew where to go fishing. And after work drinks was the perfect time to lure those babies out into the light... It worked. We had a great conversation, then I showed up at his house to ask him for a walk. Within 6 weeks, we were living together; 19 years and a kid later, divorced.

Since the divorce there have been a few people, all started via mutual flirtation - none I set my cap after, and all were Mr Right Now, not Mr Right. Until now. I've got serious butterflies around a single dad friend, who just asked me out for drinks. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

This time, Camus and Coates, not Tuchman.

RedSilk69 said:

I've always been one to ask guys out. I quickly figured out that I hated not knowing more than I hated rejection, so the first guy I asked out was in senior year of high school - we ended up dating until after college, when I was courted by a coworker and swept off my feet....

I asked my ex out, too, starting a 20 year, erm, learning experience... Here was my fishing analogy: I knew what sort of guy I wanted: smart, unintimidated by smart women. From that, I decided on my bait: a book by a female historian (Tuchman's The Guns of August, FWIW). I worked somewhere with alot of volunteers who generally filled the bill, so I knew where to go fishing. And after work drinks was the perfect time to lure those babies out into the light... It worked. We had a great conversation, then I showed up at his house to ask him for a walk. Within 6 weeks, we were living together; 19 years and a kid later, divorced.

Since the divorce there have been a few people, all started via mutual flirtation - none I set my cap after, and all were Mr Right Now, not Mr Right. Until now. I've got serious butterflies around a single dad friend, who just asked me out for drinks. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

This time, Camus and Coates, not Tuchman.

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Wow, a woman who has perfected this art to such a degree as this, we're toast! Truly!!

greengamegirl said:

Would it be strange to walk up to a man and start hitting on him? Would he take it seriously or think the woman is coming on to strong?

Have any women been successful or have funny stories to share where they weren't successful. I guess men could share funny stories too.

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I had to go to the hospital emergency room on Christmas Eve when I was a freshman in college. Two youngish male physicians came to deal with my problem, and I found one of them very attractive -- so I asked if he would leave and let the other doctor deal with me.

Several hours later when my medical problem was resolved and I was getting ready to go home, attractive doctor came in and asked if he had done anything offensive and if so, would I mind to discuss it with him for future reference. I told him "Not at all. I wanted other doctor to take care of my problem and I wanted HIM to take me out to dinner." He did and many more times after that. We still keep in touch but are not playmates any more.

dad

Dad gummit!! Where were these ladies when my availability was better than it is now? I never minded being hit on but do with it had been possible for me to respond affirmatively.

RedSilk69 said:

I've always been one to ask guys out. I quickly figured out that I hated not knowing more than I hated rejection, so the first guy I asked out was in senior year of high school - we ended up dating until after college, when I was courted by a coworker and swept off my feet....

I asked my ex out, too, starting a 20 year, erm, learning experience... Here was my fishing analogy: I knew what sort of guy I wanted: smart, unintimidated by smart women. From that, I decided on my bait: a book by a female historian (Tuchman's The Guns of August, FWIW). I worked somewhere with alot of volunteers who generally filled the bill, so I knew where to go fishing. And after work drinks was the perfect time to lure those babies out into the light... It worked. We had a great conversation, then I showed up at his house to ask him for a walk. Within 6 weeks, we were living together; 19 years and a kid later, divorced.

Since the divorce there have been a few people, all started via mutual flirtation - none I set my cap after, and all were Mr Right Now, not Mr Right. Until now. I've got serious butterflies around a single dad friend, who just asked me out for drinks. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

This time, Camus and Coates, not Tuchman.

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Red Silk, my best wishes for good luck, for the two of you!

Me personally would have no problem with it. It shows that a woman has confidence and understands that sometimes all of the time men have no clue what women want and need to use obvious hints

Every time you come in contact with a woman you might be interested in and walk away without saying anything is basically deciding for her that she's not interested. Let her tell you she's not interested instead. There are eight billion people in the world because we humans like to pair up.

not at all, you should do it if you're itnerested

NOIRTRASH said:

If a woman is interested in a man she drags him home. Its what the smart girls do.

I met my wife in a Laundromat 43 years ago. I was minding my business, and we were there alone. She simply walked up, sat atop my washer, and told me to put my book away.

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That's one of the coolest "met my partner" stories I've ever heard. I love it.

I don't think any guy would mind a woman hitting on him, I know I would not. Any ladies want to hit on me I am available.

Oh god if I'm drunk I defo do this and I can get far too touchy when doing it sometimes. Whispering in his ear tends to work

I tend to be pretty direct when I am hitting on someone. Examples would be telling a guy at a club that he *will* dance with me, or being in that club and telling him that we should go back to my place. Or if we are at my place or his, I will just let my hands and/or lips roam.

My problem is that men often think I am hitting on them when I'm not. I will talk to pretty much anyone, I try to smile at people, give compliments, do nice things and generally be in a happy mood. But I do these things to/for anyone. I have rarely had a woman think I was hitting on her but men often do.

I think the worst and most embarrassing time was when I worked at a store and we got a new store manager. I was up on a ladder, watering the hanging plants. I saw an unfamiliar man in a suit looking around. Assumed he was the new store manager so I hopped down and introduced myself to him. He seemed rather pleased!

Then later, a friend sidled up to me, pointed to the man and said, "Don't talk to that photographer! He's weird. Just bought a bottle of cheap wine, a can of oysters, a candle and women's panties. Said he was going to have a good time back at his hotel room!" And just then the photographer winked at me.

Thankfully I wasn't his type as he didn't talk to me after that.

....

greengamegirl said:

Would it be strange to walk up to a man and start hitting on him? Would he take it seriously or think the woman is coming on to strong?

Have any women been successful or have funny stories to share where they weren't successful. I guess men could share funny stories too.

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It’s strange rereading my own threads. Would it be strange? Why would it be? Well, as long as it’s not sexual harassment.

It’s strange to not say anything and stare. That’s just creepy.

...not sure what I was thinking. People enjoy this thread so it’s not a complete waste.

I think if he's used to attention from women he'd be blaze about it. If he's not he might think something's up and be a bit suspicious.

But I think the key with trying to get to know a guy you like in any social situation is to ask about him. Guys are used to having to carry the conversation. So if you ask about him and show you're genuinely interested I think he would find that memorable.

Good luck.

I am one of those guys that is totally clueless that a woman is hitting on me unless she is very direct. An ex told me I was impossible as she tried so many times to make herself available, touching me when talking, always trying to be near me when we were out with friends, asking me out for coffee until she finally got tired and asked me if I wanted to come over to her place one evening!

I have been hit on by a number of my students though but the situations were utterly inappropriate and it made me quite uncomfortable. One even became quite obsessive that I finally had to report it, afraid for my own job - they switched her to another faculty adviser and forbade her from ever meeting me or talking to me. It was, and remains, very awkward.

While I like the idea of a woman being forward it all depends on the situation/context. Which I know goes both ways...

When I was single, I hit on and asked out numerous men.

While I enjoyed having men ask me out as well, if/when I spotted a guy that I liked, I took the initiative.

The last guy I asked out, I married!

Awwwwwww

Torinona said:

When I was single, I hit on and asked out numerous men.

While I enjoyed having men ask me out as well, if/when I spotted a guy that I liked, I took the initiative.

The last guy I asked out, I married!

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Thats so cute!!

I for one would love to be hit on by a woman.
I often have difficulty with flirting or showing my intentions with women so having someone take that pressure away would be great. Plus women who know what they want are super hot, it's good to be desired

While a lot has to do with context, there are also situations where I see it as inappropriate for me to hit on or flirt with a woman - maybe she is much younger, maybe she is a student, maybe she is married. I don't want to seem like the creepy old guy! However, if a woman made her interest known, then it is another story.

In short, when you sense a guy is holding back because he doesn't want to disrespect the nature of the relationship between the two of you, taking the initiative is a real ice breaker. Particularly these days with so much awareness about sexual harassment - just a little acknowledge that you are open to flirting is most welcome.

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I can never tell if a woman is interested or just friendly so I definitely prefer blunt and direct! Years ago, while in my mid-twenties, I was approached by a beautiful girl on a shuttle from work to our parking lot. We chatted for about 10 minutes and I remember her lingering by her car before I passed by and got in mine. I moved out of town a few months later but often think back to her and what could have been if I had been more receptive too the obvious signals.

So yes, I am open and receptive to bluntness. I actually appreciate it given how rare it is.

Prior to getting together with my now-husband I always hit on guys. I was successful most of the time. The key is confidence.

The most memorable time was in a city park. I spotted this incredible guy (way out of my league, in my opinion) sitting alone with his ear buds in, sketching in a book. I approached him and asked if I could sit with him; He seemed a bit shocked but agreed. We sat and talked for about 20 minutes before I asked for his number, which he gave me, and left (don’t overstay your welcome - leave and keep him guessing).

We dated for a few months and parted ways as friends. Turns out he was actually a few years younger than I was, though he didn’t look it. After a few dates I did ask him what his impression of me was when I sat down next to him. He replied that he was totally flattered that I’d approached him.

Flirt or opportunity

greengamegirl said:

Based on my PMs there seems to be a misunderstanding.

I'm not talking about flirting with men. I'm talking about hitting on men. For example, telling men what you like about them directly.

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Although your post is aimed at women these are two incidents that might be interesting. The first one seemed to be 95% opportunity. The second was definitely opportunity.

1. I was 20 years old and an aspiring lawyer dealing with the divorce of a very attractive and friendly lady in her mid thirties. Always extremely well dressed and makeup perfect although she would have been attractive without makeup. She was divorcing her husband on the grounds of his physical violence and she had two friends who were going to give evidence supporting her claim. All three came in at the end of the day and were still with me when the rest of the staff left. One of the girls stuck her head in my office to tell me they were leaving so I would have to lock up. The attitude of the three ladies, who had all been polite and friendly up to that time, changed and became flirty. Extremely flirty to the extent that it seemed clear that there was an offer. Whether they were offering individually or up for a foursome I don’t know. But as a 20 year old they scared the shit out of me. I’ve always regretted, as a horny and unattached male, that I’d jumped in without thinking of the consequences.

2. A few years later the lady was a 50 year old whose divorce had gone through but there was still some paper work to complete. She had just started a new job and said she couldn’t take time off during the day. Would I call in on my way home? I arrived as arranged to find her dressed to kill, but not for going out, and not how she would have been dressed for work. She was direct. I said I was newly married and she told me it would be good for my marriage because she would be able to teach me a few things and she wouldn’t kiss and tell. We only lived 400 yards apart, she had nothing to lose, and I was happy. So I ran. To protect myself I told my wife. But I still wonder if I should have taken a chance.

Chris_Michael said:

Actually, yeah kinda... It really just depends on the guy. For me, though, yeah it would be kind of awkward.

I mean, you could maybe just come up and talk to me in general and maybe ease your way into maybe seeing him later - phone number, for instance.

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Can you please tell me how to make a guy aware that are interested in him sexually?