Actually, peonies are just as nice as roses and the scent is incredible.
Just feel like venting
- Thread starter Belle_Nuit
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Actually, peonies are just as nice as roses and the scent is incredible.
I plant my garden on the wishes of my wife. So in effect I give her a garden full of flowers.... And I tend to them everyday.
I still don't get any sex.... Flowers are overrated it seems.
...well, I'm sure the neighborhood appreciates your beautification.
Belle_Nuit
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I think we've just fallen into a bit of a rut.
I was away internationally for work/school for three months, and when I first got back things were really great, at first. Then we fell back into our routine and became more like "companions" as someone put it.
Don't all long relationships have periods of highs and lows sexually? Our relationship is really great in other areas. Wouldn't it make sense to try to work through those low points? We aren't compatible sexually in some ways, but I don't think we're as incompatible as he sometimes tries to make it seem. Those hard "no's" I posted about earlier have all been tried (and didn't work out on my end). I'd like to move on from them and try other things.
I've made him sound like a stoner, which simply isn't the case. He just uses a little recreationally (like the equivalent of a quarter of a joint).
He's a great cook, he keeps our home clean, he writes me poems for all special occasions and he never forgets our anniversary. And we support one another.
I think we've just hit a bit of a low. The night I had posted this thread, we had just had a big fight, and I was frustrated. I knew it wouldn't do any good to tell him all of these thoughts (yet again), so I just threw it up on here.
Last night was good, I gave him head (which I enjoy doing) and he liked it, so he can't be THAT unattracted to me. I don't think I'm unattractive, so I really don't get where that's coming from. It's popped up a few times over the years.
I don't think he's cheating on me. He's always home when he says he should be. He was cheated on by an ex-girlfiend before me, and he is very against that sort of thing.
I was away internationally for work/school for three months, and when I first got back things were really great, at first. Then we fell back into our routine and became more like "companions" as someone put it.
Don't all long relationships have periods of highs and lows sexually? Our relationship is really great in other areas. Wouldn't it make sense to try to work through those low points? We aren't compatible sexually in some ways, but I don't think we're as incompatible as he sometimes tries to make it seem. Those hard "no's" I posted about earlier have all been tried (and didn't work out on my end). I'd like to move on from them and try other things.
I've made him sound like a stoner, which simply isn't the case. He just uses a little recreationally (like the equivalent of a quarter of a joint).
He's a great cook, he keeps our home clean, he writes me poems for all special occasions and he never forgets our anniversary. And we support one another.
I think we've just hit a bit of a low. The night I had posted this thread, we had just had a big fight, and I was frustrated. I knew it wouldn't do any good to tell him all of these thoughts (yet again), so I just threw it up on here.
Last night was good, I gave him head (which I enjoy doing) and he liked it, so he can't be THAT unattracted to me. I don't think I'm unattractive, so I really don't get where that's coming from. It's popped up a few times over the years.
I don't think he's cheating on me. He's always home when he says he should be. He was cheated on by an ex-girlfiend before me, and he is very against that sort of thing.
He sounds a little like my husband who has low T levels. IMHO it's better to have a good man as a husband than a good lover. If you talk to men they'll tell you that you're wasting your life, you're going to be resentful...you're going to go crazy...etc. Life isn't that simple.
If you want to stay married for the long term you'll need to decide for yourself what you can and cannot live without. I never had a good sex life with my husband. Now...I have no sex life with my husband. But would I divorce over that? No Way. Kind, good, caring people are very precious and rare. Does it suck you don't have an awesome sex life. Yeah. But nothing is perfect. Only you can decide what is right for you.
NaughtyinVegas
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Well said, Jenny. Even as a guy I know that love is more important than sex.
Here's some flowers.
You certainly deserve them.Now, about ripping your clothes off ....
Belle_Nuit
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Thanks, this makes a lot of sense to me.
We almost broke up a couple of years ago, but neither of us could manage to do so. We decided then that if we couldn't break up, that we needed to work on our relationship so that we're both happy.
I'm not soft. He has this pathological fear of weight gain (both for himself and for myself). I think he does see me as fat, but I think his perceptions are distorted. I'll go back to working out a couple nights a week. That will appease him, and it'll be healthier for me anyway.
Kalamain
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Well said, Jenny. Even as a guy I know that love is more important than sex.
Here's some flowers.
Now, about ripping your clothes off ....
Thank you for the flowers
Lord Pmann
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It sucks because the person with the lower level of drive is invariably the one who suffers. It doesn't matter how good or caring the person is.
I don't understand that assessment.
ElasticMermaid
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I wish I was 25 knowing what I know now about myself at 35. The first man I married was amazing sexually but a shitty person. The second man I married was an amazing person and not fulfilling sexually. I need both to be satisfied in life and I wouldn't waste time on someone who didn't fulfill me. Especially someone who made me feel less than adequate.
I wish I was 25 knowing what I know now about myself at 35. The first man I married was amazing sexually but a shitty person. The second man I married was an amazing person and not fulfilling sexually. I need both to be satisfied in life and I wouldn't waste time on someone who didn't fulfill me. Especially someone who made me feel less than adequate.
I don't know anyone who is happy with what they have. People have moments of happiness or even days when everything is going fine - life is good, things are working out and then something comes along and ruins it.
Love it!!!!
pete
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I wish I was 25 knowing what I know now about myself at 35. The first man I married was amazing sexually but a shitty person. The second man I married was an amazing person and not fulfilling sexually. I need both to be satisfied in life and I wouldn't waste time on someone who didn't fulfill me. Especially someone who made me feel less than adequate.
still got your first husband's phone number?
hahaseriously though, the part of this paragraph that really makes me sad is the last line… it's horrible on one's self-esteem to have a partner that devalues you, that stomps on your very soul by making you feel inadequate, not good enough
Lord Pmann
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Well, consider a couple who has different sex drives.
Person A: Wants sex every day.
Person B: Wants sex once a month.
Who "wins"? It's usually not person B compromising by having sex fifteen times a month. It's usually person A getting sex twice a month.
ElasticMermaid
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Yikes. No one wins. Person C, maybe. The new partner for Person A.
pete
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Lord Pmann
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Right. That's why I said "wins". But I believe in most cases, the person with the higher sex drive is the one who gives the most. I can't say that for every case, but I think it's far more common.
lovecraft68
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He's a loser ditch him. he has no desire to work anything out with you and staying with you because you are a "good partner" means he is going to fuck anything that moves (because of course you don;t make him happy that way) but come home and take advantage of your friendship and career and everything else.
tell him to take a long walk on a short bridge and then find a person who is interested in you for everything. Funny you said 7 years good old 7 year itch.
There's a curb in front of your house, kick him to it.
NaughtyinVegas
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Sounds like he's blaming his low T levels on you.
Know any doctors that can prescribe you a solution? If not, go buy some Viagra, mash it up and put it in a glass of wine for him tonight. When he wakes up with a raging hard-on, "be there" for him.
Just a thought.
You seem like an intelligent, articulate woman and based on the sly pics you've posted I'd say you deserve to be appreciated both emotionally and physically!
Know any doctors that can prescribe you a solution? If not, go buy some Viagra, mash it up and put it in a glass of wine for him tonight.
When he wakes up with a raging hard-on, "be there" for him. Just a thought.
You seem like an intelligent, articulate woman and based on the sly pics you've posted I'd say you deserve to be appreciated both emotionally and physically!
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Lord Pmann
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Belle_Nuit
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He doesn't actually have low T.
We ended up having make up sex this afternoon. He wants to have a threesome (with a man). I'm not really opposed to the idea, but not really thrilled by it either. I'm conflicted because its like if I don't entertain the idea with him, then he gets shut down and basically turns his sex drive off.
We ended up having make up sex this afternoon. He wants to have a threesome (with a man). I'm not really opposed to the idea, but not really thrilled by it either. I'm conflicted because its like if I don't entertain the idea with him, then he gets shut down and basically turns his sex drive off.
pete
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