Astra

.......
Oh god. I floated. There was that pure, perfect second of oblivion, like that moment of timelessness after you jump, before gravity takes control. That one sweet moment of freedom.

Sublime. Exhilarating. Eternal. Heaven.
(Excerpt from The Ride)

Excellent! The tempo leading up to the big O was superior, and then you held it there very nicely. Definitely one of the better descriptions of that moment I have read here. You were able to paint her mentality, and delivered a nice crescendo.

Let’s see some more, eh…..

That is a WONDERFUL story. I was a young girl once, and feel she captured a lot of the experience. The fear and strangeness and exhilaration of being in such a sexually precarious situation when you're young and naive and it's all fresh...

I second Xxplorher's remakrs, and would love to see more..

Wow, thanks both of you. That's actually the first story of that type I've ever written; I tend to stick with the more "flowery," romance-novel style, but I thought I'd try something different. My bf liked it, and I figured it couldn't hurt to submit it somewhere, so here we are. I might try to work on another, as soon as I can decide on a subject. If so, I'll certainly post. Thanks again for the kind comments!

Lookin' back

*Bump*

Uniquely mesmerizing exploration of the most compelling ache… her discovery.

Here’s a link to the goods:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=3020



*Sadly, it appears this author never gave us more. That’s a fuckin’ tragedy. Truly.


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XX, thanks, a very good story. It really deserves a wide readership.

Why have you waited so long to bring it back to the forefront. And Laurel giving a comment !

Wherever Astra is, I wish she'd write some more.

OK, I read Astra's only work listed at Lit. (mainly because I was mildly interested in whether there was evidence that xxplorer and Astra were one and the same writer). No evidence on that either way, but, as far as "The Ride," I think it's a very good, well-written sex scene, but it's not a story. No plot really, no characterization (nothing given on the motivation of any of the three characters, no development/exploration of any of the three characters), no real tension, no change--just a well-written sex scene that would be a good element of a story that just doesn't happen to be there. Can't imagine why this resonates with anyone over eight years of material on Lit and is bumped up as some sort of extra special erotic work.

So, again, I wonder: are xxplorer and Astra the same writer--but not a prolific writer?

sr71plt said:

OK, I read Astra's only work listed at Lit. (mainly because I was mildly interested in whether there was evidence that xxplorer and Astra were one and the same writer). No evidence on that either way, but, as far as "The Ride," I think it's a very good, well-written sex scene, but it's not a story. No plot really, no characterization (nothing given on the motivation of any of the three characters, no development/exploration of any of the three characters), no real tension, no change--just a well-written sex scene that would be a good element of a story that just doesn't happen to be there. Can't imagine why this resonates with anyone over eight years of material on Lit and is bumped up as some sort of extra special erotic work.

So, again, I wonder: are xxplorer and Astra the same writer--but not a prolific writer?

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Lolz…

Nope – that ain’t me. (I'm a cock. Not a pussy.)

I did do an alt author page several months back, in order to post some stuff that might be dangerous subject matter for my well-being (given the fact I’ve gathered several enemies here over the years). But back when this was posted I was actually very popular as an author and poster. There would be no reason at all to split off a single story with this theme (the dates on my author page reflect an earlier removal of all my material, followed by a re-posting of some of it years later. With the exception of ‘Swim’, all that stuff was up back in ‘99).

I actually bumped it because I think it a fine example of a 2-page ‘excerpt’ of sorts that doesn’t need anything else around it. The message is whole and complete. Given your recent 2page declarations – that thought was fresh in my mind. The timing just happened to coincide with some retro-surfing on my part.

It doesn’t much need all that other plot/character development you listed. I found it to be uniquely mesmerizing, floating around in her mind like that. Feeling what it’s like to be an unexplored girl. The items the author chose to point out… somewhat exacting and seamingly insignificant... far from generic. It completely suspended who and what I am – and put me totally into her. I wasn’t me at all. I was brand new. And feeling what it must be like to want someone to take me and make me. (Something, as a man, I wholly reject.) Furthermore, I found the descript on her orgasm to be one of the finest I’ve yet seen. It was ethereal.

I suppose… I found it magical how she matched the simplicity of the tempo - to the swirling psychological dynamics. Yeah, that must be it. Hmm, yeah. It swallowed me.

The reason you don’t find it worthy is… you think your opinion is universally accurate. Busy defining what’s best for others. And you have no clue how to step outside yourself. You’re trapped in there… like a hamster on a wheel. (Lemme guess, you like to be tied down and whipped – cuz it ‘releases’ you, right?)

In any case, there’s no reason to critique it. As I noted, that author is looooooooooooong gone (I sent a blind email on it when I bumped it – no reply as of yet). But it’s HARDLY just a sex scene. I’m quite sure it speaks volumes to many women. They understand it. I bumped it for that purpose/enjoyment/opportunity.

Bottom line? I fucking WISH it was mine!! I obviously don’t edit that well.


You said you’re not interested in a debate on my other thread. And then you show up on another with more ignorant, assumptive, arrogance? Away with you now. You look ridiculous to me, you silly, silly boy.


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XXplorher said:

It doesn’t much need all that other plot/character development you listed. . .

The reason you don’t find it worthy is… you think your opinion is universally accurate. Busy defining what’s best for others. And you have no clue how to step outside yourself. You’re trapped in there… like a hamster on a wheel. (Lemme guess, you like to be tied down and whipped – cuz it ‘releases’ you, right?)

You said you’re not interested in a debate on my other thread. And then you show up on another with more ignorant, assumptive, arrogance? Away with you now. You look ridiculous to me, you silly, silly boy.


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I'll leave the name calling to you. You obviously are still upset that everyone didn't fall all over your story (other than those who wanted to share votes with you in the Halloween contest)--and that I said yours was too long for me to want to read (especially after what others who didn't just want to share votes with you said about it).

Beyond that, you assert positions to me here that I didn't take. I did say that the work being discussed was an excellent vignette--very well written. We were talking about story assessment, though, not vignette assessment. I said it wasn't a story, and gave my reasons for that--which pretty much match the reasons that others posting here give for what makes a story a story rather than a vignette. My position is that a good writer can tell a story in a two Lit. page chunk. This one was good; it just isn't a story--so, it's not a good example of a story.

It's a highly worthy vignette. And I called it a vignette. So I didn't say it was "unworthy"--just not an example of what the thread was discussing.

As far as thinking my opinion is universally accurate, you haven't read much on this forum to make such an accusation. I continually post here that an author's work should be judged on what they were trying to do, not on someone's sense of what always should be done or someone's view that what they do is what always should be done. You thus posted this just from your hurt feelings that you weren't accepted as the God of writing here yourself--and your insistence to continue to argue down those who gave you the assessment you requested (but obviously not the one you wanted to hear).

I also, incidentally, constantly say that, for Lit., a vignette is fine; it doesn't have to be a story. So I am not--and didn't--criticize Astra's work as a Lit. piece in the least.

I assume you'll eventually get over your sour grapes and stop lashing out and start absorbing what people said about your work who weren't just trying to get you to vote for their Halloween entry (not me, of course. I haven't read it--and certainly won't now; the read would be colored by your personal attacks here on me).

But it is quite funny--you pushed me to read Astra's work and comment. And when I did, you lashed out at me for doing so. But you are at least as argumentative about her work as yours, so that's consistent.

Actually, we weren’t talking about anything here. I just bumped a link to a story I unearthed from '99, for those who might appreciate it – and then you hopped on this thread and cried conspiracy. (After telling me you’re not interested in squabbling w/me on the other thread… where it belongs.)

I put that, this, and some other posts I saw from you together to properly assess you an arrogant douchebag. Your continual insistence on what my motivations are (as if your ignorant perspective is superior to my true interests), does nothing to curb my reasonable assessment. Clearly, the only thing you ever listen to - is yourself. In fact, you’re so swallowed up in yourself that you don’t recognize the only one I’m lashing out at? Is you. For the reason’s I previously stated, not what you claim them to be.

Someone dropped a harmless single line on my other thread, which offended you enough to throw a hissy fit and demand an apology. Which you got. Only to refuse to afford the same respect. That sort of behavior requires a reality check. And I'm giving you one. (However, I'm quickly learning you're too dense to recognize any fault in yourself - and far too assumptive to gather incoming information accurately.)

I didn't ask you to critique this AWOL author's work according to your guidlines. Your self-importance simple assumed that.


Lastly, I really don’t know what you mean with the Halloween thing. You truly do have your head buried quite deeply up your own ass. Ah well, I suppose that works nicely to maintain your self importance (what with the recycling that takes place in that arrangement. Don’t choke – that could be catastrophic!).

XXplorher said:

Actually, we weren’t talking about anything here. I just bumped a link to a story I unearthed from '99, for those who might appreciate it – and then you hopped on this thread and cried conspiracy. (After telling me you’re not interested in squabbling w/me on the other thread… where it belongs.)

I put that, this, and some other posts I saw from you together to properly assess you an arrogant douchebag. Your continual insistence on what my motivations are (as if your ignorant perspective is superior to my true interests), does nothing to curb my reasonable assessment. Clearly, the only thing you ever listen to - is yourself. In fact, you’re so swallowed up in yourself that you don’t recognize the only one I’m lashing out at? Is you. For the reason’s I previously stated, not what you claim them to be.

Someone dropped a harmless single line on my other thread, which offended you enough to throw a hissy fit and demand an apology. Which you got. Only to refuse to afford the same respect. That sort of behavior requires a reality check. And I'm giving you one. (However, I'm quickly learning you're too dense to recognize any fault in yourself - and far too assumptive to gather incoming information accurately.)

I didn't ask you to critique this AWOL author's work according to your guidlines. Your self-importance simple assumed that.


Lastly, I really don’t know what you mean with the Halloween thing. You truly do have your head buried quite deeply up your own ass. Ah well, I suppose that works nicely to maintain your self importance (what with the recycling that takes place in that arrangement. Don’t choke – that could be catastrophic!).

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The Halloween thing is that I got you mixed up with another poster. Sorry about that. As for the rest, hope it makes you feel better to get all that bile out. Happy writing.

Totally. I LOVE to wail on assholes. Bile me up, bioooooootch! Got more?

Do me a favor though (put yourself away just ONEsec), erase your apology to me and go say so to Sophieloves instead. REAL simple.

That’s what this is about. You ignorant mtf.

..."Jane, you ignoirant slut."