Translation help for French dialogue?

Hello!

I have written a story which includes some dialogue in French. Would anyone here would have time to look over my terrible Google translate French and tell me where it is wrong?

(I wrote French dialogue because my story is fan fiction of the show Miraculous Ladybug, where the characters are French ( https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miraculous,_les_aventures_de_Ladybug_et_Chat_Noir ). Of course for Literotica I will have to edit the fan elements out, but I will send it to TSSA at least in the original fanfic form.)

NOTE: My stories (which you can see here - https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=2092875&page=submissions ) have strong mind control non-con themes. If you don't want to read that, thank you for your attention and please do not read any further!

I'm happy to provide the full story if context helps, just let me know.

Caline's dialogue:
1. "What's happening? Who are you ?!" - "Que se passe-t-il? Qui es-tu?!"
2. "Please don't. No. I don't want ... that no-mmf" - "S'il vous plait non. Non. Je ne veux pas faire... ça, no-mmf"
3. "Don't put your dick in me!" - "Ne pas introduire votre bite!"
4. "Stop! Please, stop!" - "Arrêtez! S'il te plaît, arrête!"
5. "Fuck my ass." - "Baise mon cul."
6. "It hurts so much!" - "Cela fait si mal!"

Marinette:
7. "What? I don't understan-ah!" - "Quelle? Je ne comprends pas- ah!"
8. ""Lila? Juleka? What are you doing?" - "Lila? Juleka? Que fais-vous?"
9. "Non, s'il vous plaît non. Vous ne pouvez pas me faire ça, s'il vous plaît!"
10. ""No, please no. You can't do this to me, please!" - "Non, s'il vous plaît non. Vous ne pouvez pas me faire ça, s'il vous plaît!"
11. "Oh my God. No. How are you doing this? Please, I never did ... this." - "Oh mon Dieu. Non Comment fais-tu ça? S'il vous plaît, je ne l'ai fait ... ça."
12. "what? What is it?" - "Quelle? Qu'est-ce que c'est?"
13. ""You want me to dress like Ladybug? ... Why? But please, I'm so tired." - "Tu veux que je habiller comme Ladybug? Mais... pourquoi? S'il vous plaît, je suis si fatigué."
14. "Oh, it hurts! I can't bend so far! Let us go, we won't tell anyone, I promise. Please?" - "Ah, ça fait mal! Je ne peux pas plier jusque-là! Laissez-nous aller, et nous ne dirons à personne. J'ai promis. S'il vous plaît?"
15. "Ugh, gross! No, I don't want- ah!" - "Ugh, dégoûtant! Pas encore, je ne veux pas- ah!"
16. "MMF! Gu-ga! .. I couldn't ... breathe ... What? Where are you going?" - "MMFF! Gu-gah! Je.. ne pouvais pas... respirer... Quelle? Où allez-vous?"
17. "Where are you? Please don't make me suck you again. I - ah! What are you doing?" - "Où es-tu? S'il vous plaît ne me faites pas vous sucer à nouveau. Je - ah! Qu'est-ce que tu fais?"
18. "Oh, it's cold! What-not, not there, not in- AAH!" - "Ah, c'est froid! Qu'est-ce -non, pas là, ne pas introduire- AAH!"
19. "My God! Oh, no no no, get out, get out, please! Uhn ... uhn ... uhnnon no, stop, you're hurting me!" - "Mon Dieu! Ah! Non non non, sortez, sortez, s'il vous plaît! Uhn...uhn...uhnnon non, arrêtez, vous me faites mal!"
20. "What are you doing please, you've done this already, I - what? ah! It's not going in there! Please, I- AAH!!" - "Qu'est-ce que tu fais? S'il vous plaît, vous avez fait cela déjà, je - ah! Quelle? Il ne va pas là-bas! S'il vous plait non, je -AAH!"
21. ""... Ass. I chose the ass." - "... cul. Je choisis le cul."
22. "Please fuck my ass, sir" - "S'il vous plaît jouir dans mon cul, monsieur"
23. ""Please, just ... just fuck. I -Ah!- can't take it anymore. Oh my God, just please finish soon!" - "S'il vous plaît , juste ... juste jouir. Je ne -Ah! - ne peux plus le prendre. Oh mon Dieu , juste s'il vous plaît terminer bientôt!"
24. ""Oh my God. Wait, what are you doing? No, don't, no-MmmMFff" - "Ah mon Dieu. Attendez , qu'est-ce que tu fais? Non, ne faites pas, no-MmmMFff!"

Lila (French):
25. "Is that you, Ladybug?" - "Est-ce que vous, Ladybug?"
26. ""Oh my god, Ladybug, how has he done this? Use your powers, fight, do something, anything! Ladybug!" - "Oh mon dieu, Ladybug, comment at-il fait ça? Utilisez vos pouvoirs, se battre, faire quelque chose, quoi que ce soit! Ladybug!"

Juleka:
27. "I'm sorry, Ladybug, I'm really sorry." - "Je suis désolé, Ladybug, je suis vraiment désolé."
28. "Ladybug, he says you have to ask him." - "Ladybug, il dit que vous devez lui demander."
29. "Oooh .. Oh! You have entered me? My God ..." - "Oooh.. Oh! Vous avez introduit en moi? Mon Dieu..."

Conversation Caline <-> Marinette:
30. "Ah, there you are. How do you feel, Marinette?" - "Ah, vous y êtes. Comment vous sentez-vous, Marinette?"
31. "I feel good ... I guess ..." - "Je me sens bien... je suppose..."
32. "Did you sleep all day?" - "Avez-vous dormir toute la journée?"
33. "I ... yes, I must have. I still feel really tired though." - "Je... oui, je dois avoir. Je me sens encore vraiment fatigué cependant."
34. "But no sickness?" - "Mais pas de maladie?"
35. "... No." - "...pas de maladie."
36. "All right. Get some more sleep, we'll see how you feel in the morning." - "Très bien. Obtenir un peu plus de sommeil, nous allons voir comment vous vous sentez dans la matinée."
37. "Yes, Miss Bustier." - "Oui, Mlle Bustier."
38. "Good night Marinette." - "Bonne nuit Marinette."
39. "Good night Miss Bustier." - "Bonne nuit Mlle Bustier."

I'm certain I got the tu/vous forms wrong at least... Any suggestions for improvement are welcome!

(Anyone helping will receive a credit on the final story of course, for what little that is worth"."

-MePe

I also have some dialogue in Italian as one of the characters is Italian. If you have the ability and time to look through those you can see them in this post:
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=79949508&postcount=1

-MePe

Caline's dialogue:
1. "What's happening? Who are you ?!" - "Que se passe-t-il ? Qui es-tu ?!"
2. "Please don't. No. I don't want ... that no-mmf" - "S'il vous plait non. Non. Je ne veux pas ... ça, non-mmf"
3. "Don't put your dick in me!" - "Ne me mettez pas votre bite !"
4. "Stop! Please, stop!" - "Arrête ! S'il te plaît, arrête !"
5. "Fuck my ass." - "Encule moi"
6. "It hurts so much!" - "Cela fait si mal!"

Marinette:
7. "What? I don't understan-ah!" - "Quoi? Je ne comprends pas- ah !"
8. ""Lila? Juleka? What are you doing?" - "Lila? Juleka? Que fais-tu ?"
9. "Non, s'il te plaît non. Tu ne peux pas me faire ça, s'il te plaît!"
10. ""No, please no. You can't do this to me, please!" - "Non, s'il te plaît non. Ne me fais pas ça, s'il te plaît!"
11. "Oh my God. No. How are you doing this? Please, I never did ... this." - "Oh mon Dieu ! Non Comment fais-tu ça ? S'il plaît,te je n'ai jamais fait ... ça avant."
12. "what? What is it?" - "Quoi ? Qu'est-ce que c'est ?"
13. ""You want me to dress like Ladybug? ... Why? But please, I'm so tired." - "Tu veux que je m'habille comme Ladybug? Mais... pourquoi? S'il te plaît, je suis si fatigué."
14. "Oh, it hurts! I can't bend so far! Let us go, we won't tell anyone, I promise. Please?" - "Ah, ça fait si mal! Je ne peux pas me plier jusque-là! Laisse-nous aller, et nous ne dirons à personne. Je te promet. S'il te plaît?"
15. "Ugh, gross! No, I don't want- ah!" - "Ugh, dégoûtant! Pas encore, je ne veux pas- ah!"
16. "MMF! Gu-ga! .. I couldn't ... breathe ... What? Where are you going?" - "MMFF! Guoi! Je.. ne pouvais pas... respirer... Quoi ? Où vas-tu ?"
17. "Where are you? Please don't make me suck you again. I - ah! What are you doing?" - "Où es-tu? S'il te plaît ne me fait pas te sucer encore une fois. Je - ah! Qu'est-ce que tu fais?"
18. "Oh, it's cold! What-not, not there, not in- AAH!" - "Ah, c'est froid! Qu'est-ce-que, non, pas là, ne pas là- AAH!"
19. "My God! Oh, no no no, get out, get out, please! Uhn ... uhn ... ho non, non non non, stop, you're hurting me!" - "Mon Dieu! Ah! Non non non, arrete, arrete, s'il te plaît! Uhn...uhn...uhnnon non, arrete, tu me fais mal!"
20. "What are you doing please, you've done this already, I - what? ah! It's not going in there! Please, I- AAH!!" - "Qu'est-ce que tu fais? S'il te plaît, tu as as déjà fait cà , je - ah! Quoi? Ca ne passera pas ! S'il teplait non, je -AAH!"
21. ""... Ass. I chose the ass." - "... cul. Je choisis le cul."
22. "Please fuck my ass, sir" - "S'il vous plaît jouir par mon cul, monsieur"
23. ""Please, just ... just fuck. I -Ah!- can't take it anymore. Oh my God, just please finish soon!" - "S'il vous plaît , juste ... juste jouir. Je ne -Ah! - ne peux plus le prendre. Oh mon Dieu , juste s'il vous plaît arretez vite !"
24. ""Oh my God. Wait, what are you doing? No, don't, no-MmmMFff" - "Ah mon Dieu. Attendez , qu'est-ce que vous faites ? Non, ne faites pas, no-MmmMFff!"

Lila (French):
25. "Is that you, Ladybug?" - "Est-ce que c'est vous, Ladybug?"
26. ""Oh my god, Ladybug, how has he done this? Use your powers, fight, do something, anything! Ladybug!" - "Oh mon dieu, Ladybug, comment at-il fait ça? Utilisez vos pouvoirs, battez-vous, faites quelque chose, n'importe quoi! Ladybug!"

Juleka:
27. "I'm sorry, Ladybug, I'm really sorry." - "Je suis désolé, Ladybug, je suis vraiment désolé."
28. "Ladybug, he says you have to ask him." - "Ladybug, il dit que vous deviez lui demander."
29. "Oooh .. Oh! You have entered me? My God ..." - "Oooh.. Oh! Vous vous êtes introduit en moi? Mon Dieu..."

Conversation Caline <-> Marinette:
30. "Ah, there you are. How do you feel, Marinette?" - "Ah, tu y es. Comment te sent-tu, Marinette?"
31. "I feel good ... I guess ..." - "Je me sens bien... je crois..."
32. "Did you sleep all day?" - "as-tu dormis toute la journée?"
33. "I ... yes, I must have. I still feel really tired though." - "Je... oui, je crois. Je me sens pourtant encore vraiment fatigué."
34. "But no sickness?" - "Tu n'est pas malade ?"
35. "... No." - ".Non, je ne crois pas."
36. "All right. Get some more sleep, we'll see how you feel in the morning." - "Très bien. Dors encore un peu, nous allons voir comment tu te sens demain matin."
37. "Yes, Miss Bustier." - "Oui, Mlle Bustier."
38. "Good night Marinette." - "Bonne nuit Marinette."
39. "Good night Miss Bustier." - "Bonne nuit Mlle Bustier."


Here is something better, but to be truely correct I would need more background for the tu/vous usage and male/feminine forms.

Wow, that was quick. Thank you very much PandaPensif!

more background for the tu/vous usage and male/feminine forms.

Click to expand...

Hmm, well everything except #8 is addressing one person.
The Caline <> Marinette conversation is between a student (Marinette) and her teacher (Caline).
All of the French characters are female. Most of the lines are addressing a male.
Does that help?

If there's any more information needed please let me know, I'm afraid my knowledge of French is inadequate to guess.

Thanks again!

-MePe

Mephisto_Pegari said:

<snip>
All of the French characters are female. Most of the lines are addressing a male.
Does that help?

If there's any more information needed please let me know, I'm afraid my knowledge of French is inadequate to guess.

Thanks again!

-MePe

Click to expand...

Pour l’amour de tous les dieux, sur mes genoux, je vous prie de ne pas écrire en français sans apprendre encore mieux la langue d’abord.

For the love of all the gods, on my knees, I implore you not to write French before learning it better.

Incidentally, when asking somebody what they're doing, if you want to put a bit more emotion into it, use "fichtre" (informal and vaguely impolite) or "foutre" (extremely impolite) instead of "faire".

So #8 becomes
8. ""Lila? Juleka? What are you doing?" - "Lila? Juleka? Que faites-vous ?"

"Vous" is used when adressing several personns, but can olso be used as a polite form, like the "thou" but it is still used in French
Typically in slaves stories the master says "tu" to his slave and the slave can reply using "vous".

Nowdays Teachers and pupills uses the "tu" form, but in some (old or private) schools then can use the "vous".

When two people meet for the first time they usually use "vous" and switch to "tu" when they are more intimates. But young people start using the "tu" form.

If you want, You can send me your story before submitting it and I will correct the French sentences. Send me a private message if you want so.

Penuche => Certes Sade les utilise beaucoup, mais que ces termes font vieux, je trouve !
Je lis plus d'histoires érotiques en anglais, mais je ne les trouve que rarement dans celles que je lis en Français.

Penuche said:

Pour l’amour de tous les dieux, sur mes genoux, je vous prie de ne pas écrire en français sans apprendre encore mieux la langue d’abord.

For the love of all the gods, on my knees, I implore you not to write French before learning it better.

Click to expand...

Lol. But that's why I came here to ask the experts.

Penuche said:

Incidentally, when asking somebody what they're doing, if you want to put a bit more emotion into it, use "fichtre" (informal and vaguely impolite) or "foutre" (extremely impolite) instead of "faire".

Click to expand...

Case in point. Thank you!

MePe

PandaPensif said:

So #8 becomes
8. ""Lila? Juleka? What are you doing?" - "Lila? Juleka? Que faites-vous ?"

Click to expand...

Understood.

PandaPensif said:

"Vous" is used when adressing several personns, but can olso be used as a polite form, like the "thou" but it is still used in French
Typically in slaves stories the master says "tu" to his slave and the slave can reply using "vous".

Nowdays Teachers and pupills uses the "tu" form, but in some (old or private) schools then can use the "vous".

When two people meet for the first time they usually use "vous" and switch to "tu" when they are more intimates. But young people start using the "tu" form.

Click to expand...

Okay, so my understanding of when to use tu or vous forms was not too far off, good. Google translate does not work very well for changing forms, unfortunately.

(FYI, "thou" used to be the singular/informal form of address in English, the plural/formal being "ye". Then "ye" became "you" and "thou" dropped out entirely.)

PandaPensif said:

If you want, You can send me your story before submitting it and I will correct the French sentences. Send me a private message if you want so.

Click to expand...

I'll replace the sentences with your corrections above first, and then I'm happy to send a draft. So probably in the next day or two.

MePe

Thou seemed to me to be very formal as it can be found to refer to God.
I never learnt it in English lessons...

"Vous" is still used in French. In a shop typically, the clerc will always use the "vous" to speak to customers.

DM sent!

PandaPensif said:

Thou seemed to me to be very formal as it can be found to refer to God.
I never learnt it in English lessons...

Click to expand...

Wikipedia said:

Following the Norman invasion of 1066, thou was used to express intimacy, familiarity or even disrespect, while another pronoun, you, the oblique/objective form of ye, was used for formal circumstances (see T–V distinction).

Click to expand...

Wikipedia said:

Early English translations of the Bible used the familiar singular form of the second person, which mirrors common usage trends in other languages. The familiar and singular form is used when speaking to God, in French (in Protestantism both in past and present, in Catholicism since the post-Vatican II reforms), German, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Russian, Yiddish, Turkish, Lithuanian, and Scottish Gaelic.

Click to expand...

(It's from Wikipedia so it must be correct, right? )

PandaPensif said:

"Vous" is still used in French. In a shop typically, the clerc will always use the "vous" to speak to customers.

Click to expand...

Most European languages have the singlar/informal & plural/formal "you"s, I think (tu/vous, du/Sie, etc). English is just weird.

MePe

The problem with the litteral translation of english expression in french, is that the result is very "litteral", "élevé" in french. For instance, no normal frenchgirl say "vous vous introduisez en moi" during the intercourse...