I'd like to think I'm an ok writer...FEEDBACK PLEASE!

Like everything in my life, I like to stay in the shadows. I don't like to be noticed.

But I'd love some feedback on my writing!

I'm at the point where I don't even want to submit stuff because I don't know if anyone is reading my stories, or enjoying it.

Anyone else ever feel like that?

Really though, I'd love some feedback.
I have some long stories and a couple short ones, so take your pick.

There’s something called “self-defeating” attitude. If all you want to be is an “okay” writer, then that’s what you will always be. Set your sights higher. Don’t look for “feedback” so much as you should look for answers on how to improve your writing capabilities.

I made the mistake of looking for constructive criticism here on Lit. Then, I realized it was the wrong place to look for it. Everyone has a style of writing. What I’m saying is google is your friend on this area. Research writing techniques, sentence structure, avoiding excessive adverbs, comma usage, dialogue tags, mood, paragraphing, grammatical errors, run on sentences, and any area you already know you are “weak” in to help you improve.

In the end, no amount of feedback or research is going to cure the most common mistake of trying to write without one key element - imagination.

I’m babbling, but it’s a start in the right direction. When I first started writing, I thought what I was writing was the best but, after looking up certain things, I realized I was a terrible writer with a desire to find my own answers instead of asking general questions from several different sources that are/were pointing me in different directions, few where I needed to go. Hope it helps, you. The world could always use another creative mind to pick up a pen, a paint brush, or whatever it is they choose to express a humanity from within
Kant

As a side note: I write for myself as a hobby. That’s my escape. When I post it online, I’m sharing myself, my passions with others. That’s satisfaction enough if it is only one person to say they enjoyed it - not a million people saying it. (That’s why one troll’s comment always seems to irk certain people).

CoffeeWithMonkeys said:

Like everything in my life, I like to stay in the shadows. I don't like to be noticed.

But I'd love some feedback on my writing!

I'm at the point where I don't even want to submit stuff because I don't know if anyone is reading my stories, or enjoying it.

Anyone else ever feel like that?

Really though, I'd love some feedback.
I have some long stories and a couple short ones, so take your pick.

Click to expand...

Are you looking for 'Yay - That's Brilliant' sort of support, to build your ego/confidence, or 'This is good, but could do with this/that to help the flow, etc.'?

It seems an obvious question, but I only ask because I was planning some co-writing with another author on here some time ago. He asked much the same sort of question. He said he wanted an honest opinion, so I said it was great, but could do with having someone else proof read before publishing, to filter out a few silly mistakes (which I listed).

The result - he took offence and said he wasn't going to write any more - which was a great pity, because he was really good (apart from a few simple errors).

I'll have a look at a short one first - and just so you know, I always like to leave a comment, because I agree that writing without getting feedback leaves you in a sort of limbo...

BTW: There was a thread on here I found a while back, about writing techniques, but I failed to Subscribe to it at the time (didn't know what that meant) and now I can't find it again

I do write for myself, and for a few friends of mine, but every once in awhile a little bit of notice is nice to keep you going.

I had kind of a shitty childhood, always wanting my mom's approval, never got it, so I guess I still am looking for approval in my life.

I'm looking for
'This is good, but could do with this/that to help the flow, etc.'
I truly do love constructive criticism. Anything that might make me a better writer would be great.

I'll see if I can get you something tomorrow, but if not it will be next week. I promise.

I am enjoying "No Such Thing As Time" very much. I have one chapter to go. Do you have a plan for that series? You know if you're going to expand beyond the four characters yet? It would be good to see a little danger enter into their world, nothing too nuts, I wouldn't want it to turn into "The Walking Dead," but now that you've done such a great job establishing the relationships, the fear of loss would add some great drama to the plot. I like your writing style, and the present tense narrative.

Well, I should have read Chapter 5 BEFORE I wrote the last comment. Nicely done...we've got a dramatic cliffhanger here. Keep going!!

TaricJon said:

Well, I should have read Chapter 5 BEFORE I wrote the last comment. Nicely done...we've got a dramatic cliffhanger here. Keep going!!

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I read the first chapter and all in all I think it's an interesting 'Post-Apocalypse' plot. A couple of things left me thinking 'How did that happen?' and my comment pointed out that I felt it a strange place to end the first chapter.

My suggestion there would be - Leave it a few days and proof read again (or better - get someone else to do it for you), before you publish
BTW: I'm guilty of the same - I haven't published anything that didn't need corrections

I like the way the characters and background were developed, but I felt there was so much more that could have been described (but then, many say my stories take too long to get to the action). The bottom line here is - you will never please everyone. Write the way that pleases you, and if some don't like it, you can be sure others will. Evidence of that is - not everyone has the same favourite authors

I read Again Always Sometimes Forever and I've read some of your other works too in the past.

Overall I like your style. I think there's room to tighten up the way you space your paragraphs and dialog, but that's formatting and I think more of a personal preference of mine. Your dialog is good, and your characters feel real to me. The emotions they feel for each other happen very quickly, on the edge of being forced.

And I think this is where I find flaw. The power of fiction is in an authors ability to craft events and a narrative and take a reader on an adventure. The events in these stories (that I've read) only serve contrived purposes (i need money so let's do a thing), and never any purpose that moves along the major plot point.

Let's say in one story we have two poor characters. They sit on their couch and bemoan their condition. Then they go out and buy some pot, get high, and fuck.

In another story, we also have two poor characters. They sit on their couch and bemoan their condition, but in this one the woman, as a show of love, offers to prostitute herself so that she and her man can afford to get out of this hellhole town. The man reluctantly agrees, but when the moment comes and the man has found a john he approves of, the man balks. He realizes he would rather be poor and have her than have money, be somewhere else, and have her feel guilty for having sex with another man. He feels good on one level because he knows his woman would sacrifice for him, but they resolve to find another way.

In the first story, the most that can be said is that some stuff happens. In the second story, there is self reflection, growth, and the scenes serve the major plot points. It's a little predictable, but I'll rexommend predictable over empty every time.

Tight, efficient writing comes from learning how to make every detail serve the story on at least one level. More killer, less filler.

CoffeeWithMonkeys said:

FEEDBACK PLEASE!

Click to expand...

I can relate. You put stories out there and some of them don't get even a single comment. It gives you kind of a lonely feeling. You'd like to think that your effort is bringing at least some little bit of enjoyment to somebody, but it's hard to know for sure.

I happened to pick the same story of yours to read as AwkwardMD. I agree with her that you're a capable writer. You've created an interesting, readable story with believable characters and real emotions. A bit pokey in places, perhaps, but I'm not really one to give advice on craftsmanship. I have enough trouble with that myself.

The thing I found interesting about your story is that it turns the common damsel-in-distress trope on its head. Usually it's the beautiful, sensitive girl who has to be rescued from the controlling, abusive boyfriend. Here it's the other way around.

I must say, though, that I didn't find Eddie to be that appealing a character. All he does is sit around the house all day playing his guitar and putting up with his abusive girlfriend. When he finally does leave he doesn't even take his shoes. He gets as far as the next door down the hallway, where Mara takes him in like a lost puppy. She seems to think of him more as a pet than an equal partner. She's always calling him "my little man." He's happy to let her take care of him, not particularly fazed by the prospect of getting her pregnant, not particularly grownup in thinking about their future. I couldn't help but feel that eventually he'll wander off from her as well and end up being taken in by somebody else.

That's how he came across to me, anyway. It made me realize that I probably would have been willing to overlook quite a few of his faults if he had been a girl in need of rescuing rather than a guy. And that made me realize that probably a lot of what I think of as chivalrous is really mostly just chauvinistic.

I also realize that Mara does see something sweet and worthwhile in him, and I hope that things work out better for them than I'm afraid they will. Maybe they are each just what the other needs to grow up.