sixstring1987
Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2014
- Posts
- 31
http://www.literotica.com/s/liz-discovers-her-sexuality
Thanks for reading and thanks for the response.
Thanks for reading and thanks for the response.
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Thanks, good to know.Hi! I read your story. I want to say first that if you had not mentioned it, I would not have known that English is not your first language. You have an excellent grasp on it, though you do make a consistent usage error in your story that I often see in new writers or writers with another language as their first language. Not all words for the same thing, particularly body parts, are created equal. While using the word "boobs" or "trouser snake" will accurately say what part of the body you're talking about, those words have an additional juvenile/silly connotation.
While using the word "boobs" or "trouser snake" will accurately say what part of the body you're talking about, those words have an additional juvenile/silly connotation.
Yeah, I've noticed prepositions are what give me the hardest time in English. I suppose practice will make perfect.Seconding this. "Boobs" and "lady love juice" sound immature.
Some minor language issues:
"But, she had no interest for them"
This should probably be "But she had no interest in them". "For them" is ambiguous - it sounds as if you're saying she wasn't of interest to them (the boys).
"Never actually having seen one, it rose her interest." - "rose" doesn't work here. "Rise"/"rose" isn't normally used with an object. See usage note here - "raised her interest" would be better. "Aroused" or "piqued" (not "peaked", a lot of people make that mistake) would also work.
Yeah, I've noticed prepositions are what give me the hardest time in English. I suppose practice will make perfect.
Does someone maybe have a link with good synonyms to be used in erotic stories? I don't really know what else to call a woman's breasts but tits...