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Old 08-22-2018, 09:00 PM   #51
ericahope
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlotte35f View Post
I keep rereading this story, and have recommended it to many of my friends. Every time I love you more, my beautiful friend. I stand by what I posted on the story itself:
So sweet

I've loved you and your writing for so long it seems like I should be in this story. Thank you for sharing so intimately.
I only wish I'd thought to write about you first. Anything I write now will seem derivative.
Thank you Char...you're the best! *smooch*
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My stories are linked on my profile. I have a new one as of spring 2018. Enjoy! I'd love to hear what you think of them.
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Old 08-22-2018, 09:03 PM   #52
ericahope
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Originally Posted by LightningSeed View Post
I could tell just how personal this was for you. And it really was sweet and did have a solid buildup.
I think at times the conversations used words that didnít ring true. Famished. Fortuitous. Incorrigible. Maybe you do use those words, but at times that kicks me out of the plot and makes me aware that Iím reading a story.

My favorite image was the one girl in bed masturbating while listening to her friend do the same in the next room. The hottest line was ďNo one. But you.Ē

Thanks for offering it up for critique and Iíll look forward to reading more of yours.
I intentionally use the word fortuitous frequently! It's very useful. Though you're right, it does sound a little high falutin. I don't use famished or incorrigible as often.

Thanks so much for your compliments and sharing your favorite scene and line. Thank for reading!

Erica
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