Get him to stop coming so quickly?

nelstar

Virgin
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Jul 2, 2011
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I'm not talking about coming too quickly during sex, but BEFORE sex even begins!

I've just started seeing an older man (he's 50, I'm 37) and the last two times we've been together he's ejaculated before we've even attempted sex. (First time was just before I put on a condom - second time was as I was putting one on him, so he got turned on by the stimulation)

We don't get the chance to be with each other much, so I want sex to happen next time (so does he!) We normally spend a lot of time on foreplay (giving each other oral, kissing and exploring bodies) so I'm thinking next time I might just have to jump on him as soon as he's ready.

He doesn't seem capable of getting another erection after losing it the first time, is that to do with age? I tried giving him a very intense BJ last time, but he didn't get hard enough again.

He just tells me I make him very over-excited and he has no control with me!!! ;)
 
Ask him to jerk off more regularly. It can be desensitising over time.

Also, you can assist him in lengthening the time it takes to cum by 'assisting him' right up to the point where he's ready to explode then stopping and letting him back down a bit, then restarting. Do that regularly and he may start to last longer. (That one is actually form a medical book! Not just your basic internet jerk off talk)
 
Thanks F_G! Might suggest the first tip to him! ;)

We kind of tried the second tip, but he still got tipped over the edge!
 
Thanks F_G! Might suggest the first tip to him! ;)

We kind of tried the second tip, but he still got tipped over the edge!

The first one really helps over time. I know if I touch myself every day for a while it starts to take a while. If I take a week off, it takes like a minute.
 
Get him hard then put a condom on him before you go any further. A condom cuts sensitivity at least in half, which means that he will have to rely more on his brain that body stimulus to ejaculate.

As earlier mentioned, edging is another good way to increase his staying power. Play until he gets to the edge of no return, but not past that point, then stop until his body settles down and start again. Over time his body will be "trained" to last longer.

Third option is to get him Viagra or Cialis, then it doesn't matter if he cums or not, he'll have a perpetual hard on for a good length of time.
 
Sorry for any poor English.

To me what you have explained sounds more like a heart/erection problem. Have you ever seen a movie where some guy is having a heart attack and everyone is running around, looking for "nitro"? Well, what nitro does is help the arteries expand in order to allow blood to flow past a blockage. Guess what else uses nitric acid(nitro) to expand? Yup, the lil guy down below. The heart is hogging that nitric acid either because it is deficient or needs more of it to open up blockages.

Now here's the explanation of why I think this is the problem. He does eventually get "wood", so everything is functioning as it should down there. But, basically he has to get so extremely aroused, in order for the heart to give up a tiny bit of nitric acid, that he just pops at the moment of the slightest sensation. And he is definitely into you if you get him that aroused!

Get his ticker checked by a doc ASAP

In the mean time...
Omega-3 salmon and fish oils (to aid circulation and heart health)
Amino acid L-Arginine (nitric acid)
Zinc (because the Internet says so)

Of course that's just my opinion. Don't run off thinking he's going to have a heart attack. It could be a testosterone deficiency for all I know. I just wanted to bring this as a possible explanation. Google "heart erectile" then "nitrogen erection". Keep the quotes for a more specific search.

Hope it helps
-Wayne-
 
To me what you have explained sounds more like a heart/erection problem. Have you ever seen a movie where some guy is having a heart attack and everyone is running around, looking for "nitro"? Well, what nitro does is help the arteries expand in order to allow blood to flow past a blockage. Guess what else uses nitric acid(nitro) to expand? Yup, the lil guy down below. The heart is hogging that nitric acid either because it is deficient or needs more of it to open up blockages.

Now here's the explanation of why I think this is the problem. He does eventually get "wood", so everything is functioning as it should down there. But, basically he has to get so extremely aroused, in order for the heart to give up a tiny bit of nitric acid, that he just pops at the moment of the slightest sensation. And he is definitely into you if you get him that aroused!

Get his ticker checked by a doc ASAP

In the mean time...
Omega-3 salmon and fish oils (to aid circulation and heart health)
Amino acid L-Arginine (nitric acid)
Zinc (because the Internet says so)

Of course that's just my opinion. Don't run off thinking he's going to have a heart attack. It could be a testosterone deficiency for all I know. I just wanted to bring this as a possible explanation. Google "heart erectile" then "nitrogen erection". Keep the quotes for a more specific search.

Hope it helps
-Wayne-

Thanks for the reply with amore medical explanantion. We used to joke about me "giving him a heart attack" (when we used to work together last year).

He's been seeing his doc about high blood pressure and headaches since our first time together - something else to consider.

I do like the explanation that he's just really into me if I get him that aroused!!! :D
 
To me Viagra is not an option since Viagra is a blood pressure medication and if he is already on blood pressure medication then Viagra can have some dangerous side effects. In addition Viagra is used for erectile dysfunction and since your questions appears to relates to premature ejaculation then Viagra will be ineffective.

There are a few things that can be tried. One is using a topical application, like Ambusol / Anbesol, that contains lidocain. This ingredient is found in many over-the-counter topical products for pain (e.g. sunburn, teething, back, etc) and when applied to the penis can decrease the sensitivity. From my experience it only delays ejaculation by a few seconds and in some it can cause reaction, primarily itching or burning.

Another option, may be for him to masturbate when he is not with you whereby once he is about the cum he stops, then waits until the feeling subsides, and repeats until he cannot wait to cum. By doing this he learns how to control his orgams and delay cumming. Another variation would be having him masturbate about 12 hours before seeing you and it might help in delaying his cumming.

Third option, is to have sex sooner and not get so horny. Also, if you are using lubrication then it might be worth changing the type used. It maybe the lubrication that is being used is making him too sensitive.

Fourth option is to look at your expections about sex and cumming. Many guys will cum within 2 minutes of penetration and it may be that you are expecting sex to be like the porn movies (e.g. 30 minutes+ before cumming). Maybe resetting your expectations might take some of the pressure off and might make it more enjoyable for the both of you.
 
He's 50 yrs. old...

Has this been an on-going problem for him in the past? If not, then yes, I would say to get him to a doctor.
As for the Viagra, it actually does impede ejaculation, but it could be dangerous so I would check with the doc before doing that as well.
 
To me Viagra is not an option since Viagra is a blood pressure medication and if he is already on blood pressure medication then Viagra can have some dangerous side effects. In addition Viagra is used for erectile dysfunction and since your questions appears to relates to premature ejaculation then Viagra will be ineffective.

There are a few things that can be tried. One is using a topical application, like Ambusol / Anbesol, that contains lidocain. This ingredient is found in many over-the-counter topical products for pain (e.g. sunburn, teething, back, etc) and when applied to the penis can decrease the sensitivity. From my experience it only delays ejaculation by a few seconds and in some it can cause reaction, primarily itching or burning.

Another option, may be for him to masturbate when he is not with you whereby once he is about the cum he stops, then waits until the feeling subsides, and repeats until he cannot wait to cum. By doing this he learns how to control his orgams and delay cumming. Another variation would be having him masturbate about 12 hours before seeing you and it might help in delaying his cumming.

Third option, is to have sex sooner and not get so horny. Also, if you are using lubrication then it might be worth changing the type used. It maybe the lubrication that is being used is making him too sensitive.

Fourth option is to look at your expections about sex and cumming. Many guys will cum within 2 minutes of penetration and it may be that you are expecting sex to be like the porn movies (e.g. 30 minutes+ before cumming). Maybe resetting your expectations might take some of the pressure off and might make it more enjoyable for the both of you.

Another option is to get a bionic cock...:rose:
 
To me what you have explained sounds more like a heart/erection problem. Have you ever seen a movie where some guy is having a heart attack and everyone is running around, looking for "nitro"? Well, what nitro does is help the arteries expand in order to allow blood to flow past a blockage. Guess what else uses nitric acid(nitro) to expand? Yup, the lil guy down below. The heart is hogging that nitric acid either because it is deficient or needs more of it to open up blockages.

Now here's the explanation of why I think this is the problem. He does eventually get "wood", so everything is functioning as it should down there. But, basically he has to get so extremely aroused, in order for the heart to give up a tiny bit of nitric acid, that he just pops at the moment of the slightest sensation. And he is definitely into you if you get him that aroused!

Get his ticker checked by a doc ASAP

In the mean time...
Omega-3 salmon and fish oils (to aid circulation and heart health)
Amino acid L-Arginine (nitric acid)
Zinc (because the Internet says so)

Of course that's just my opinion. Don't run off thinking he's going to have a heart attack. It could be a testosterone deficiency for all I know. I just wanted to bring this as a possible explanation. Google "heart erectile" then "nitrogen erection". Keep the quotes for a more specific search.

Hope it helps
-Wayne-

This is pretty much untrue. Certainly poor erectile function can be related to cardiovascular disease but not premature ejaculation. Nitric oxide is made throughout the vascular system so the concept of the heart 'hogging it' doesn't really hold.

On a more personal note, I found that condoms made me more sensitive - just the way the end gets squashed. Go figure.
 
two

Hold a brick in each hand, just before he cums, bang the bricks together on his balls.

Does it hurt? only if you hit your thumbs.

You say you spent lots of time with foreplay, how about him only turning you on then when you are good and ready try to go for it, let him put his own condom on.

The old wifes myth of bashing one out an hour before he sees you may help.

Does he lose all interest in sex after he cums or is he willing to 'sort' you out using other means?
 
seriously, he's 50 and he is cumming before sex even starts? was he a 50 yold virgin or what? must not of had that much sex, that is just not right.. I guess I just never had that issue so can't relate, even when really young.. I have always wanked a ton though.. even married and having sex regularly, I probably wank 5 times a week...
 
I'm sure he's just as frustrated as you. One approach would be similar to what someone mentioned above. Tell him you're going to help him with this (if he acknowledges this is a problem) or that you're going to do something special for him (if he doesn't acknowledge it). Give him a hand job a few times a week, but tell him to warn you if his orgasm is approaching. Stop stimulation and squeeze firmly just below the head of the penis until the feeling subsides. Have him breath very deeply and slowly in a controlled fashion throughout the session. His balls will also rise and begin to rotate when he is close to cumming. You can gently pull them down in the sack and this will also help delay his orgasm. Anyhow, keep the hand job going for 20minutes or so, longer if you like and then finish him off in the manner you choose. If you do this repeatedly over time, it'll take him longer to cum. Then, you can start using your pussy to do the same thing. Obviously, you have to be on top for this. I would also make sure he gets you off by other means before you get him off. Lastly, being more tense makes premature ejaculation worse. A massage, deep breathing, yoga, all of these can help him gain better control. Good luck!
 
cum cum now...

Im 58 and as ive got older i seem to be able to last longer most of the time, occassionly, i cum just seeing my wife get undressed. im sure that more frequent action ( be it sex, masturbation or touching ) will increase my cum time.
I think a lot of men would love to have the action and staying power of porn stars, but most women dont want it for hours on end.
I recently discovered a delay lotion, chinese i think it is, comes in a tiny bottle and you apply a tiny tiny drop on the end of yor old man, appx 20 mins before. It tingles nicely and the half dozen times ive suefd it , it relaly works. My wife told me to stop on one occassion as she couldnt take any more after around 60-70 mins of pumping away, i was hard as rock and still hadnt cum! I got it from a UK website called lovehoney - visited there recently but didnt see it right away but honestly it really worked for me.
Good luck
 
That's called Premature Ejaculation and actually can have a number of reasons.

First of all, it may be caused by bad health, so he should go see a doctor. With this I can't help at all.

Second reason is psychological. The orgasm is in our heads and so on and so forth. Many males struggle with this problem - coming before sex or seconds into it. The idea here is to have a proper mindset and control your body properly.

Ad the last reason is lack of practice.
 
Well this thread is five years old, so hopefully they've worked out their problems by now! If not, or if anyone else has a similar problem, I was going to suggest they stick to oral and manual sex for awhile. After a few weeks of that, they will be more relaxed and comfortable with each other and he will be better able to control his responses.
 
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