Writing exercise #2

John was slumped on the couch of the living room, one leg on the carpet, one leg propped on the cushions. The brown and yellow plaid marked the piece of furniture as having been extracted from a seventies-era time capsule, and it had more than enough sag for forty years of use. But it was comfortable as hell.

John took a sip of his beer and hit the pause button on his controller; his game restarted. The only part of him that was tense were the finger mashing buttons as he flew a fighter jet through rings at several times the speed of sound.

The front door of the apartment slammed open.

He heard wet boots, trudging on the carpet. They stopped next to him. His gaze was still locked onto the screen. He didn't look up.

His jet rocketed through the last ring. The blare of trumpets announcing a new best time whined from the TV's aging speakers. "Hell yeah." He looked up at Charlotte. "Uh...hi?"

Charlotte's blonde hair was plastered to her forehead and neck by the rain. Her clothes were soaked through. There was a tear across the shoulder of her hoodie, revealing the white lining under the green cloth.

"Hi," Charlotte mumbled.

"Where were you?"

Charlotte's eyes had an unfocused glaze, as if she was looking through him and the couch to the carpet below. "Nowhere," she said.

John's gaze fell. Another tear had ripped across the her jeans in three neat lines across her thigh. John could see blood welling where her skin had been gouged. "Are you alright?"

Charlotte nodded. She took a step toward the kitchen. Her leg gave out. She dropped toward him like a sack of wet potatoes. John scrambled to simultaneously catch her and stop himself from getting mashed into the arm of the sofa. "Hey, Char! Charlotte!"

He started awake at the sound of a car door closing. Looking at his watch he frowned. He rubbed his face and smoothed back his hair, then waited. The front door opened and she came in.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi." His tone was not welcoming. "Where were you?"

"Nowhere."

"Nowhere. For six hours?"

"Whatever."

"Listen, young lady, as long as you're living here we expect you to have the decency to let us know if you're going to be late. Your mother was worried sick!"

"Where is Mom?"

"She's in bed - it's one in the morning, for Christ's sake!"

"Guess she wasn't so worried after all." She smirked at him and tossed her jacket and book bag on the sofa, then sauntered off to the kitchen. He glared at her as she went, his eyes drawn to her long legs moving below the short skirt.

"They let you dress like that in school?" he called after her. “Don’t they have a decent dress code there?” She didn’t answer. “I’m talking to you,” he said. Still no answer. “Look, we were worried about you, okay? We’re your parents, you know.”

She came back into the living room sipping a glass of milk. “You’re not my father,” she said. “Not my real father.” She threw herself carelessly on the couch, facing him where he sat in his recliner.

“I’m your legal guardian, as you well know. Your mother and I are both responsible for you.”

“Ha!” she laughed. “Not any more. I’m eighteen years old, you know.”

“As long as you’re living under this roof we’re responsible for your well-being,” he said. “And you’re still a kid as far as I’m concerned.”

“Oh, am I?” she said. “Do I really look like a kid to you?” She crossed her legs and looked at him mockingly. He blushed and tried not to look at the expanse of thigh and flash of underwear under her short skirt her motion had revealed.

“Listen,” he said clearing his throat, “you may be almost grown up, but you’ve still got a lot to learn. We just don’t want you making, well, making mistakes, bad choices. You could get into trouble if you’re not careful. God knows what goes on when you’re out so late.”

“Well, I had no trouble tonight, none that I couldn’t handle.” She took a sip of her milk and ran her fingertips absently over the cylindrical glass. Then she licked the milk mustache from her upper lip, grinning at him. Resting her head back on the couch she gazed at the ceiling and yawned. As she did she lifted her right leg and put her foot on the edge of the couch cushion, briefly exposing the bottom of her thigh and the crotch of her white cotton panties. “Well,” she said, putting both feet on the floor, “time for bed.” She pursed her lips and made a slight kissing motion in his direction. “G’night, Daddy dear,” she said sweetly. “I’m going to get undressed and go to beddy-bye.” She got up and brought the glass back into the kitchen, then went upstairs to her bedroom. She got out her little nightgown and laid it on her bed. Then she went to the door and pushed it closed, leaving it open just a crack. He didn’t know it, but she did that deliberately every night. Then she went to the middle of the room and waited, getting ready to tease.

_Lynn_ said:

Rewrite this dull bit of dialogue, expanding it with a setting, descriptions of the people, how they say things, their gestures, etc.

Minimum 50 words.


Hi.

Hi.

Where were you?

Nowhere.

Click to expand...

“Hi,” Mary said shyly as Phil approached. He was caught off guard, not knowing he would see her here. It had been only last weekend, but it seemed centuries. He had left with so much hate on her lips.

“Hi,” Phil replied softly. He added an apologetic tone, almost begging for forgiveness. It was her doing, but the gulf between them hurt him most. He wanted to reach out and touch her like he could before the venom came between them.

“Where were you?” Mary asked wanting to know his mind. She couldn't bring herself to apologize. The loss of pride would be too heavy a cost. Pride was her weakness and she felt it weigh hard on her soul. She wanted his forgiveness and couldn't ask for it. She needed him close again. If he walked, as he should, she would weaken and cave. She prayed it wouldn't come to that.

“Nowhere,” Phil answered with smile, sensing the end of it. He was exactly where he wanted to be. His hand found Mary’s cheek and she leaned her head into it with a sigh.The weekend faded with the pain. There would be no apologies, no forgiveness, only forgetting and a return to their love.

Sara's Secret

When Mark knocked on the door, it opened to reveal Sara standing naked and saying, "Hi."

"Hi. Where were you?", asked Mark before Sara shrugged her shoulders and answered, "Nowhere."

That was before he saw two naked women dry humping each other in bed and in front of the couple.

_Lynn_ said:

Rewrite this dull bit of dialogue, expanding it with a setting, descriptions of the people, how they say things, their gestures, etc.

Minimum 50 words.


Hi.

Hi.

Where were you?

Nowhere.

Click to expand...

I tried to do it with just a bit above minimum to put as much in as I could. Giving what would be a good start to a scene that could go anywhere. Here is is.

(( Carley smelled brewing coffee as the door closed behind her. She shook the snow from her coat. Her blond hair fell to her shoulders as she removed her hat. Spotting Ben, she wound her way through the tables to him. He was dressed in his usual shorts and zip up jacket. His dark hair wet from the snow.
She lightly touched his shoulder before sitting down across from him.
"Hi, Ben."
"Hi, yourself, my love. You're late and I was going to call out the sled dogs. Where were you?"
"No place in particular.. walking around. Thinking." ))

Where Were You?

Sally walked into the apartment and found her roommate Max sitting on the sofa.

"Hi.", said Sally before Max sat up and said, "Hi. Where were you?"

"Nowhere.", answered Sally while she was shrugging her shoulders.

"Really?", asked Max before she started playing the tape of Sally riding Leon's dick.

_Lynn_ said:

Rewrite this dull bit of dialogue, expanding it with a setting, descriptions of the people, how they say things, their gestures, etc.

Minimum 50 words.


Hi.

Hi.

Where were you?

Nowhere.

Click to expand...

So warm and soft, lethargic movements as her mind slowly wakens to the strip of sunlight coming in from the edge of the curtain. Muscles finally protesting the stillness under the covers, she stretches as she comes awake and turns to see him watching her movements with a smile.

Snuggling back into the pillow, she smiles back before covering her mouth with the sheet. “Good morning.”

“Morning.” He laughs and moves forward, tugging the sheet down just enough to kiss her lips lightly. So different from the kisses from the night before, but they still have the same effect as they did years ago. Time passes so quickly and how lucky they were to have been able to share most of it together.

The clearing of his throat causes her to blink, seeing his eyebrow raised in amusement. “Hi.”

Grinning, she giggles. “Hi back.”

“You were zoning my dear.”

She nods, smiling contentedly. “Just lost in thought, love.”

“Really?” He lifts the covers, indicating that she is to come over for cuddles. “Where were you?”

‘Nowhere and everywhere.’ She whispers, moving to snuggle up against him and reveling in his embrace. ‘And so happy to be right here.’

Checking On My Best Friend

Jane was in the kitchen wearing only a towel.

She picked up a muffin, smiled and said, "Hi."

"Hi. Where were you?", I asked before she shrugged and answered, "Nowhere."

Then, a naked stud came in and kissed her neck while touching her breasts which made me say, "Never mind."

Promise!

Ramone was out for the evening enjoying drinks and animated conversations with his mates. His phone rings. He rapidly glances at his watch as a nauseating feeling descends upon him like a cloak of motion sickness, and a myriad thoughts sting his mind like an angry swarm of indignant bees, as he suddenly remembers his promise!

“Hi Ramone” lilts a sweet voice interwoven with a hint of an icy undertone.

“Hi Kitty” he stammers. Knowing the promise he’d made to her earlier that week.

“Where are you?” Kitty quips calculatedly.

Lost for any sensible response, he mutters incoherently. “Nowhere.” Hoping she’d believe him.

_Lynn_ said:

Rewrite this dull bit of dialogue, expanding it with a setting, descriptions of the people, how they say things, their gestures, etc.

Minimum 50 words.


Hi.

Hi.

Where were you?

Nowhere.

Click to expand...

Ben glanced down at the screen as Jeni's name flashed up. Set to silent he continued to look at the screen, smiling, he knew she wouldn't be able to resist calling.

Walking up the steps to the door, he was glad to be under the porch and out of the rain. He pressed answer and held the phone to his ear, as he did so he pushed down on the handle and slipped in through the door.

Ben could just make out the sound of the TV in the background, after an awkward silence, Ben spoke, "Hi"

Saying nothing more Ben walked across the hall.

"Hi, Where are you?" Jeni asked insistently. Then the line went dead, she looked at her phone, disconnected.

"Nowhere." Ben whispered in her ear, his warm skin moist with rainwater pressed against her and he kissed her neck lovingly.

This is how it ends, he thought. He’d been talking, telling her something, and he’d seen her start to tune him out.

Outside the window it was raining, she’d been looking that way, eyes glazed, daydreaming, lost in thought. He’d paused, his smile slowly fading.

So pretty; what was she thinking about? He wanted to ask her, where do you go when you look like that? Then he decided he didn’t want to know.

All the time, outside, people passing back and fore.

He didn’t finish what he’d been telling her, instead he waited for her to come back, to see if she’d notice the silence. She didn’t, not for a long time, he was watching her when she finally breathed and turned his way.

“Hi,” he said, trying to smile.
“Hi.”
“Where were you?”
“Nowhere.”

It's a bit more than 50

Totally misunderstood the context of this. Try it again in a second.

Black13 said:

Totally misunderstood the context of this. Try it again in a second.

Click to expand...

minimum 50, I think. They don't shoot you.

OK, I'll give it a quick shot:-

Sam pushed the papers away and picked up the phone.
After a silence and some surprising sound effects, a voice said “Hi.”
Hi brain went into over-drive; it was voice he’d not heard in twenty years. A voice that he’d waited to hear, longed to hear, but all was silence. She might just as well have died. Come to think of it, it might have been better; at least he’d have known and had closure. His mouth would not work, his throat was bone dry and his nerves shook. After what seemed like an age, he managed to croak: “Hi.”

“Where were you?” she said. Her voice and gone from a straight and plain, almost accent- less English, to a throaty growl. “I was waiting for you.”

Ye gods, he thought. After all this time and she manages to make it seem
like it was yesterday. The fact that he’d nearly had his arse shot off serving his country was of no account; nor was his trauma-laden recovery.

“Nowhere,” he said. “Nowhere important.”
He hung up the receiver and made a mental note to get a new line number.

. . .

I'm right here.

The room was still and quiet. So quiet, it was deafening to him. The only things he heard were the thoughts and old scenarios that played out in his own mind. He couldn't stop them. No matter how hard or how often he tried. They just kept playing like an old film. He had tried dozens of times over the past few days, hundreds of times since he received that phone call, but nothing would stop them.

The arguments, the lies, the cheating. Every horrible moment of their relationship played back for him. Why couldn't he remember any of the good times. He knew there were a few years of good memories too, but they seemed buried too deep to retrieve. He knew there were good memories or else he wouldn't have been invited.

He looked around the room and saw maybe a handful of faces he recognized. He'd been gone for more then a dozen years now. He wasn't surprised he barely knew anyone here. She'd moved on, started her life over when he left. He'd been happy for her once the pain and hurt passed.

Sitting there was just too much. He got up and walked up the aisle, smiled and shook the hand of the man sitting in the front row. A few more steps, and he'd be face to face with her again. Surprised by the sadness in his heart as he realized this would be the last time he ever had to look at her. After today, he would never see her again. As he took the first step toward her, he thought of the last conversation they shared.

He had just come home to pack a few things and then he would leave. He saw her sitting in the dark room. As he walked into their bedroom, he went to turn on a light.

"No, don't. Please, I don't want the light on," she said. He looked at her like he didn't even recognize her anymore. As he closed the distance, at least the physical distance between them, he saw the moist trails of tears that ran down her cheeks.

"Hi," she said, her voice quiet, soft, almost repentant.

"Hi, yourself," his normal response, but this time it was full of pain. He took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled to keep his anger in check. He concentrated on his breath as he looked into her icy blue eyes. Unable to be emotional or hate her anymore than he already did, he just stared at her, through her actually.

At the time, he wondered what ever happened to the warmth he once saw in her eyes. Now, the icy blue color was all that was left. He no longer saw a loving, caring, warmth in those eyes. He no longer saw the I want you's or the I love you's that once were easily identifiable in her eyes. No...now they were just cold, deceiving, lying icy blue eyes that stared back at him.

They were empty eyes, he realized. Empty and void of any emotion that may have once existed there. He thought for a moment, is she even here with me? Is she physically present, but once again, mentally and emotionally absent?

He watched her for a moment.

"Where were you?" he asked, hoping she'd give him a response he could believe. He wanted to believe her, wanted to forgive her, but he knew it was never going to happen. She broke his heart when she broke her promise, and their vows.

"Right here," she said, barely looking up at him. She sat there, in their bedroom as if nothing could touch her, as if nothing mattered. She was cold, dead inside. Sitting on his side of the bed, she lied to him for the last time.

Screw it, he thought, screw her. I can't take this game any more. If she can't tell me the truth now, she never will. Christ, even after she knows I'm aware of everything, every lie, every deceit, she sits here and lies to me again.

"I'll ask one more time...where were you?"

Tilting her head to look up at him, she said, "I'm right here. I've been right here."

He shook his head to clear his memories. He didn't want to remember how they barely said goodbye back then. Today wasn't about the bad times. He tried to forget that horrible moment. That day they closed the door on each other, and on the seven years of marriage he'd hoped would last a lifetime.

It's too hard when only one person wants to make things work. Marriage takes two and you both have to be present for it. Everyday it's a work in progress. You can't check in and out all of the time, especially when things get tough. He cleared his thoughts, if only for a little while. He had to make it through this day and then it would be over once and for all. He could put the past behind him and move forward.

It took him a while, but her realized today was about forgiveness. He had to forgive one last time, say goodbye, and leave. He took the last steps, closing the distance between them. He smiled as he looked at the woman he once loved. Automatically, he placed his hand over hers and tears began to flow.

It was over twelve years since they had touched. He leaned down to kiss her forehead like he often did so long ago.

"Goodbye my love," he said, as his tears streamed down his cheeks. "I'm sorry things didn't go the way we planned." He hesitated, as if he wanted a response. Then he wiped the tears from his cheeks as he turned to go. Finally, he realized there would never be words to explain what went wrong between them.

He was just about to leave her when he remembered something. Reaching in his jacket pocket, he pulled out a gold band. It was his wedding ring. The man in the front row watched him intently and nodded when their eyes connected knowingly. He acknowledged that he had his permission and placed the gold band in her hands.

"Goodbye my love," he said one last time and turned from the casket. His heart was finally free of all the pain and sorrow her loss had caused him. He had carried it way too long. It was time to let it go.