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Old 06-20-2018, 11:11 PM   #1
h0me is offline
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 4
Editor requested for Sci-Fi / Mind-Control

I'm close to publishing the 4th installment in a series. I published the first 3 chapters without proofing. While I don't consider them disastrous, for this next chapter I'd like like a 2nd opinion.

I'm seeking feedback in the following areas:

* Awkwardly-phrased or unclear sentences.

* An irrational fondness for commas, and a general grammar sanity-check.

* I'm concerned the next chapter suffers a "plot surplus". I trimmed plot-details from previous chapters, which unfortunately resulted in a "plot backlog". I'd love to be told I'm wrong. But I at least need an 2nd opinion.

Below are a few links for previous chapters, to help any editors decide if they are interested.


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Old 06-20-2018, 11:34 PM   #2
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thewinedarksea is online now
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 115
I'm available. Experience in sf. PM me.
My stories
In my current series, a sex worker negotiates the challenges of escort work in a major city.
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