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Old 06-17-2018, 04:08 AM   #26
beerlovr88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MelissaBaby View Post
Whether or not it is a "great way" to showcase intimacy, it is a way to do so, and worked well as such in the context of the story
Think you're harping a bit on semantics here, so for your sake I'll change a single word within the original sentence that you quoted me on even though it doesn't in any way alter my intended meaning: "Apparently you think that peeing in front of someone can be a great way to showcase these features, which is a sentiment that I cannot relate to or empathize with in any way."
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Originally Posted by MelissaBaby View Post
The urination scene in the story was part of an overall theme of creating a deeper intimacy between the two women. There is nothing in the text to indicate that either character was specifically aroused by the act of either watching or being watched during the act of urination.
It seems that they were aroused by their openness and intimacy with one another, which is relevant because you openly stated that urinating in front of each other played a factor with this development. And because you seem so fixated with my use of the term (while simultaneously claiming not to be defensive), to be clear my use of the word 'fetish' was hyperbole; the fact is that they went out of their way to watch each other urinate; it was a motivation that they acted upon and enjoyed so much that they wanted to repeat the experience. Some people like watching other people urinate and other people don't. Some people think that urinating in front of each other helps build "trust and intimacy", other people think that trust and intimacy is better built and showcased through other means.

Which is why I said that your preferences are your preferences; you can watch people urinate all you want in the interest of intimacy and openness if that's what you prefer. I've read a lot of books where trust and openness was developed between characters, but never once have I read a book/ story that wanted to showcase this development through urination, which is why I gave props to erica for the originality. Like maybe it's just one of those LGBT things? Idk.

Either way, I'm just impressed by all the people here who can find two women who like to urinate in front of each other to be 'highly relatable.'

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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
Don't say "I'm not judging" in the same breath that you pass subjective judgement. It's dishonest.
Did you conflate the benign use of a colloquial expression with a subjective judgement or are you just looking for any excuse you can to preach and find fault within others? I'd elaborate, but if you can't be bothered with this type of effort then why should I be?
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Old 06-17-2018, 04:58 AM   #27
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I don't think you understand what conflate or subjective means, because you use both of them incorrectly. Time for a new thesaurus.
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Old 06-18-2018, 07:16 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by beerlovr88 View Post

Either way, I'm just impressed by all the people here who can find two women who like to urinate in front of each other to be 'highly relatable.'

A good author can make murderers, war criminals, vampires, space aliens or giant tentacled monsters relatable.

What are we talking about here?

A woman went to the bathroom with the door open.
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Old 06-18-2018, 09:05 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by MelissaBaby View Post
A good author can make murderers, war criminals, vampires, space aliens or giant tentacled monsters relatable.

What are we talking about here?

A woman went to the bathroom with the door open.
Happens all the time in my house, usually when brushing my teeth. Domesticity ain't a fetish in my world!
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Old 06-20-2018, 09:32 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
I don't think you understand what conflate or subjective means, because you use both of them incorrectly. Time for a new thesaurus.
Asking if you conflated 2 completely separate concepts is not a misuse of the term, and your inability to answer the question I asked speaks volumes about a reluctance on your part to discuss the topic.

Though accusing me of dishonesty when nothing I've said has been remotely inaccurate or deceitful suggests you were so offended that you had to resort to childish personal attacks. Which is funny when considering that it's coming from a person who openly admits that they find 2 lesbians who like to urinate in front of each other to be highly relatable. Which... all the power to you I guess.
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Old 06-20-2018, 09:41 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by MelissaBaby View Post
A good author can make murderers, war criminals, vampires, space aliens or giant tentacled monsters relatable.
Sure... at least up to the point where they want to start urinating in front of each other. For an example, I read True Blood and could totally relate to vampire Bill's attraction to Sookie. Thankfully neither the TV series nor the books would showcase vampires wanting to pee in front of each for the sake of building or showcasing intimacy.

If people here want to identify with this desire to watch their partner urinate then that's great but again, I'm thinking it might be one of those LGBT/ awkward people things.

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Old 06-20-2018, 09:51 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by beerlovr88 View Post
If people here want to identify with this desire to watch their partner urinate then that's great but again, I'm thinking it might be one of those LGBT/ awkward people things.
And I'm thinking you have a talent for offending and shooting yourself in the foot needlessly.

But it's sort of fun watching the two of you pontificate at each other.
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Old 06-20-2018, 11:03 PM   #33
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And I'm thinking you have a talent for offending and shooting yourself in the foot needlessly.
Thinking about me already? I can sort of see where your first thought about me is stemming from but how did the latter thought come to fruition? In other words, in this context I'm not sure what you mean by 'shooting myself in the foot.' Are you saying that you think I had a shot with Melissa but now due to my theory about the type of people who like to watch others urinate, she's now lost all interest in me?

Rats... maybe I really did shoot myself in the foot. If she confirms this theory then this is clearly a tangible loss on my part and I'll make a more active effort to mince my words in the future.

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But it's sort of fun watching the two of you
And it's also kind of amusing that you want to volunteer your thoughts about me, so hopefully in the upcoming weeks you'll read my future submission, if only so that it might give you more content for your analysis of my personal character.
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Old 06-20-2018, 11:21 PM   #34
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Very intimate

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Originally Posted by ericahope View Post
This is the first story I've written in a while (the others I've published were written years before the Literotica publishing date listed). It was a long time coming and is the most personal I've written.

I'd be interested in reader feedback/comments/etc. either here or at the end of the story.

https://www.literotica.com/s/so-intimate

Thanks!

Erica
I thoroughly enjoy the detail about your house, home and your body (flaws and all). Wonderful to experience and appreciate the friendship between you two.
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Old 06-20-2018, 11:24 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by beerlovr88 View Post
Asking if you conflated 2 completely separate concepts is not a misuse of the term, and your inability to answer the question I asked speaks volumes about a reluctance on your part to discuss the topic.

Though accusing me of dishonesty when nothing I've said has been remotely inaccurate or deceitful suggests you were so offended that you had to resort to childish personal attacks. Which is funny when considering that it's coming from a person who openly admits that they find 2 lesbians who like to urinate in front of each other to be highly relatable. Which... all the power to you I guess.
More words != more smart.

My original response is clearly worded. If you can't be bothered to read it, don't try to pull parts of it out of context and draw conclusions that don't aren't supported by my post. Stop letting your insecurity drive your responses, and get back to writing something of your own.
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Old 06-21-2018, 07:31 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by beerlovr88 View Post
Are you saying that you think I had a shot with Melissa but now due to my theory about the type of people who like to watch others urinate, she's now lost all interest in me?
It's safe to say you can take that off the table.
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Old 06-21-2018, 01:09 PM   #37
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I enjoyed it!

I did give it 5 stars!

Thank you for putting yourself out there!
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Old 06-23-2018, 11:20 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
More words != more smart.
using more words != attempting to be smart

Speaking of which, are you really so insecure about your intelligence that you constantly try to quantify what is and isn't 'smart'? Either way you're not making any sense, you refuse to elaborate, you're imagining the misuse of words that are being used correctly and all while resorting to personal attacks.

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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
Stop letting your insecurity drive your responses.
Openly speculating about the motivations or driving forces of others ==/== saving face after repeatedly being proven wrong.

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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
get back to writing something of your own.
If this is your way of saying that you're impatient to read my future submission, then I'll give it another week or two plus however long it takes for them to post it.
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Old 06-24-2018, 12:07 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by beerlovr88 View Post
using more words != attempting to be smart
Okay.

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Speaking of which, are you really so insecure about your intelligence that you constantly try to quantify what is and isn't 'smart'?
Not threatened in the least. Especially since you don't seem to realize the difference between quantify and qualify (hint: abstract concepts (like intelligence) are only one of these).

Quote:
Either way you're not making any sense(1) you refuse to elaborate(2), you're imagining the misuse of words that are being used correctly(3)and all while resorting to personal attacks(4).
1. You not knowing what I mean is not the same as being nonsensical
2. Up to this point, I haven't been arguing with you. I am trying to get you to be helpful for the sake of the writers asking for help.
3. See Quantify vs Qualify. Your ego outstrips your vocabulary.
4. Citation please. Pointing out a mistake is criticism, not a personal attack. Pointing out your inability to take criticism while feeling justified in giving it is a textbook example of hypocrisy. Calling you a hypocrite is, contextually speaking, as accurate as pointing out the color of your hair. It's just fact.

If I were to call you a fucking moron, that would be an attack.

Quote:
Openly speculating about the motivations or driving forces of others(1) ==/== saving face after repeatedly being proven wrong(2).
1. Stop quaking like a duck, and you'll be shocked how many people stop treating you like one.
2. Citation please. Multiple, since this has happened "repeatedly"

Quote:
If this is your way of saying that you're impatient to read my future submission, then I'll give it another week or two plus however long it takes for them to post it.
Impatience isn't part of it. None of your posts here have been specific enough to be anything less than mean-spirited, so if I can dangle something shiny in front of you to redirect your attention elsewhere, then everyone wins.
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Old 06-24-2018, 10:48 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
Not threatened in the least.
And yet the fact remains that you want to rush forth and make claims regarding what does or doesn't make someone more 'smart', in a thread in which the author literally asked for any feedback that isn't 'this story sucks.' Now correct me if I'm wrong, but last I checked I provided feedback and no where did I specifically state that 'this story sucks'. Even if you don't think my feedback was helpful (an opinion that would be 100% subjective, btw), I was still 100% in compliance with the specifications the author asked for.

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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
Especially since you don't seem to realize the difference between quantify and qualify
And yet, 'more smart' -- a concept that for whatever reason you wanted to bring up in discussion -- implies that one level of 'smartness' is greater than another. If you want to imagine to yourself that objectively establishing one thing being greater than another has nothing to do with quantitative measurements then you're simply in a world of your own.

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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
Pointing out your inability to take criticism while feeling justified in giving it is a textbook example of hypocrisy.
Again, in this thread the OP literally stated: "I'm looking for any response...complimentary, critical, random thoughts, etc. The only think I don't care for is non-specific critical comments like "that sucked!" "

Yes I was critical, but again I want to highlight the word 'any.' When I ask you for any feedback about my feedback, feel free to unleash. Until then you're providing me with unsolicited feedback about my criticism, and then accuse me of hypocrisy because I offer solicited feedback for others. There's a very distinct difference between these separate concepts, and just because you don't seem to understand that doesn't mean that I'm a hypocrite.

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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD View Post
Calling you a hypocrite is, contextually speaking, as accurate as pointing out the color of your hair. It's just fact.
No, it's merely you not understanding how double standards work. Very soon I will solicit anyone here (including you) for any thoughts they might have about my story, and when I do, you're more than welcome to 'attack' my story however you see fit. Until then, the fact remains that I've never asked anyone for their thoughts about my posts, and this is not a sentiment shared by the authors here who are in fact asking for thoughts about their stories. If you struggle to understand this difference then you're ignorant, and if you are able to understand this distinction then perhaps you're blinded by an unrelenting desire to attack me personally with imagined cases of 'hypocrisy', 'dishonesty', and 'misuse of terms'.

Because on my part there's been no dishonesty, no hypocrisy and no misuse of terms... and the more you try and imagine otherwise the more it seems that you're limiting yourself to a narrow minded mentality in which you try and convince yourself that you're always right.

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Old 06-25-2018, 12:55 PM   #41
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You don't fool me. Good luck with that.
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Old 06-25-2018, 07:17 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by beerlovr88 View Post
So while I might not be able to empathize with the desire to forge a connection in this manner (and thus hindering my read in the process), apparently this wasn't the case for everyone.
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Originally Posted by AwkwardMD
two women that I empathize and identified with.
We're done here, right?
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Old 07-02-2018, 09:17 PM   #43
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And I'm thinking you have a talent for offending and shooting yourself in the foot needlessly.

But it's sort of fun watching the two of you pontificate at each other.

^^^^King of shooting self in foot^^^^^
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Old 07-02-2018, 09:20 PM   #44
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It's safe to say you can take that off the table.

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Old 07-02-2018, 09:29 PM   #45
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^^^^King of shooting self in foot^^^^^
Uh, oh. TeflonGuy's going psycho again. I think he's doing it for a friend.

May I suggest that you and your friend keep your stalking campaign limited to the GB and Political boards and off the boards on writing?

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Old 07-03-2018, 12:43 AM   #46
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You don't fool me.
Good. The process of stating very simple facts isn't meant to fool anyone.
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Old 07-18-2018, 12:50 AM   #47
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Wow, I didn't think my story would generate so much discussion! Thanks to those of you who offered compliments and constructive feedback. It's much appreciated!

I truly do take it all to heart.

Erica
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Old 07-18-2018, 12:50 AM   #48
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I did give it 5 stars!

Thank you for putting yourself out there!
Thank you Scareltt
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Old 08-13-2018, 02:41 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by ericahope View Post
This is the first story I've written in a while (the others I've published were written years before the Literotica publishing date listed). It was a long time coming and is the most personal I've written.

I'd be interested in reader feedback/comments/etc. either here or at the end of the story.

https://www.literotica.com/s/so-intimate

Thanks!

Erica
I keep rereading this story, and have recommended it to many of my friends. Every time I love you more, my beautiful friend. I stand by what I posted on the story itself:
So sweet

I've loved you and your writing for so long it seems like I should be in this story. Thank you for sharing so intimately.
I only wish I'd thought to write about you first. Anything I write now will seem derivative.
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Old 08-14-2018, 11:14 AM   #50
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Post Requested Critique

I could tell just how personal this was for you. And it really was sweet and did have a solid buildup.
I think at times the conversations used words that didnít ring true. Famished. Fortuitous. Incorrigible. Maybe you do use those words, but at times that kicks me out of the plot and makes me aware that Iím reading a story.

My favorite image was the one girl in bed masturbating while listening to her friend do the same in the next room. The hottest line was ďNo one. But you.Ē

Thanks for offering it up for critique and Iíll look forward to reading more of yours.
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