Why are you submissive?

I'm pretty sure I was just born this way. It took me a long while to see and accept it and myself but my sexual orientation was always hard wired in there. My first sexual fantasizes were twisted ones of submission as I could understand it at that time with no words for it or knowledge of anyone else being this way.

sweetsubmissi0n said:

I am a sub because I have a hunger for obedience. I need to be lower than my Sir, and for him to assert his superiority over me. I need to be able to submit to him, and for him to use and abuse my body for his pleasure. I really enjoy a man who can push me past my limits, and free my mind from the thresholds I think I can't get past. I need my Sir to take me to other worlds.. to bring my mind to a place I can't even imagine. I love it when my Sir denies my freedom, and ignores my begging. I need to give myself completely to my Sir, body mind and soul. I NEED to feel useful and loved

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I'm a dom girl. Period. My entire life I did the sub role. Liked it, but I prefer the top. It makes me feel special and loved to have some hot guy licking my boots, or bringing me a yummy sandwhich. Ecpecially if he's like a pool boy, in swimtrunks, with one or two very well done tattoes, painting my toe nails for me, or shaving my pussy, etc.. i've been shaving my pussy sense I was thirteen. But I find that men are actually very good at what they do hehe...

I work alot, so it's nice to come home an unwind, and be worshipped. I'm not rough though, i'm actually working on being a more pleasent femdom you know? I explored alot of sub things. So I understand the feeling. It's nice. I had a one-night stand with a male dom though. When I was seventeen. We never had sex, he just explored with toys on me, he was respectful. I explained to him that I hated being tied up. I hated the very idea of any man over a woman. I trust men in the working world as top roles. But never in the bedroom. Personally to me, it's the woman that makes the rules.

Even the subs have to set boundries. So why is it the Master still gets the top role?

Weird huh? I've always just wondered because I was shy and hesitant as a young woman now that i'm getting near thirty, in a year, it's changed I guess. I don't even think i'm a switch, because I over-power my man with my thinking and beauty. If he would be a good boy, and play my game.

I would be a much more pleasent woman.

My submissive side has always confused me. It emerged in me before I was ever even sexually active.. And the older I've gotten, the more obsessed with it I am. It used to REALLY bother me, as my sexual personality is complete opposite of my normal personality. I'm very brash, rebellious, independent, and stubborn to anyone who gets to know me. But for the few who have met my sexual side; I'm COMPLETELY submissive. Will do what I'm told, when I'm told, and can only "cum" while being humiliated and degraded. I used to hide this side of me deep down, but as I've grown older I've learned to say FUCK IT. It's how I am, I love having a master/mistress, I love doing anything to please them, I love being used like a living sex toy, I love the pain, and I love having my body belong to someone. The older I get, the more sexually active I become, I realize the romance of BDSM that people often over look. And its amazing.

hi

I am submissive because that is my pleasure.

Used, and Deservedly Used.

Shavedallover said:

I'm mildly sub with my bud. I do what I'm told, when to do it, how to do it, how long to do it and to beg when he says so. He's fun, creative and non violent. He recently brought another man in to play with us. I now service them both. My MM sex life has never been more fun and fulfilling.

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I know how fortunate I am. I'm a shy skinny tongue-tied kid with no education or social graces. My mature married Boyfriend is respected and sophisticated, he's a solicitor high in the professions. He could have any boy he wanted. The original agreement was that he'd set me up with an apartment where I could write, so long as he had the key and come around for sex whenever the whim took him. But all I've managed to write so far is Gay Porn for 'Literotica', and the more he comes around and fucks my face, all I can think about is getting face-fucked some more, I lounge around naked feeling horny, watching Gay internet-clips and wanking, waiting for his next visit. There's a dozen boys out there who want what I've got. I'm scared he'll find someone cuter than me. I'm scared he'll get bored with me and move on. What would I do then? without his firm guiding hand? So I have to work hard to keep his favors. It is vital for me to be as compliant to his wishes as he wants - for my benefit, not for his. I need him more than he needs me. When he wants me in lingerie I wear that negligee and those see-through panties that are soon moist with my pre-cum. He scolded me for also wearing lipstick - I was stupidly thoughtless, I was apologetic and tearfully contrite, his wife might have found traces of my lipstick around the base of his cock when he'd been deep-throating me! How could I be so inconsiderate? He tied me up and spanked my bare bottom, and I so thoroughly deserved it. I sucked his cock for an hour in the hope of ingratiating myself, it never left my mouth for a moment, and the thrill of his spunk pumping into my throat was a joy to me. But like he said, me being allowed to suck his cock is hardly a punishment, I'm such a spunk-slut that it's all I crave anyway. On other occasions he's introduced bondage elements, I've been tied up and secured as he used me, and he's brought a friend around to share me. I sucked off the friend enthusiastically while my Boyfriend watched, gave instructions, and took photos. I am polite and grateful at all times. Why am I submissive? I'm submissive because it's my nature. Because I respect and am in awe of my Boyfriend, my owner, my Master. And because I have too much to lose...

Collar_N_Cuffs said:

I love submission because I love the obvious sense of power and happiness it instills in my SO. He loves, loves, loves being dominant, and I feel a sense of that as well from what I enable in him. I know I am more of a dominant bottom (thanks Stella ) and that works perfectly for us, but I definitely identify as his sub

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This describes us to a certain extent, though in flip-flopped fashion. I need to submit to achieve sexual satisfaction; my SO likes me to be happy. While he enjoys the dominant role its not integral to his well being.

He's a top rather than a Dom, IMO. Myself? Hmmm. At this point, I'm thinking dominant bottom, but whether that's due to our relationship dynamic or innate personality I couldn't say. I'd like more submission, so it seems possible I'd actually be a submissive in different circumstances.

Endless_Night said:

This describes us to a certain extent, though in flip-flopped fashion. I need to submit to achieve sexual satisfaction; my SO likes me to be happy. While he enjoys the dominant role its not integral to his well being.

He's a top rather than a Dom, IMO. Myself? Hmmm. At this point, I'm thinking dominant bottom, but whether that's due to our relationship dynamic or innate personality I couldn't say. I'd like more submission, so it seems possible I'd actually be a submissive in different circumstances.

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I would like to know why you two ladies identify as dominant bottoms. Would love to see it from some other perspective than mine.

For me it is about not letting my control down. I want things be done to me but I am the one who decides what and how. I dont want to please much anyone but myself, it is not about being emotionally involved either, I am a "do me bitch". I am not a SAM or a brat because I dont manipulate, I generally demand.

I see sub as somebody who likes to please, be told what to do, enjoys feeling "lower" in a way. Crudely said, because I know there is much more to it just as there is much more variables in my bottoming too. But that would be basics I think.

Submissive... Hm...

My whole life has been me bending to the will of others. I think at first I hated it, always feeling like I was worthless. I easily followed and have only ever been a leader in times were someone had to stand up and others would not.

For me, embracing my submissive tendencies has helped me greatly. I am worthwhile, and helpful. I bring something to the table and I like this role. It makes me feel secure and gives me a sense of purpose.

I do it for him, but it is really for me.

StrayKat said:

I would like to know why you two ladies identify as dominant bottoms. Would love to see it from some other perspective than mine.

For me it is about not letting my control down. I want things be done to me but I am the one who decides what and how. I dont want to please much anyone but myself, it is not about being emotionally involved either, I am a "do me bitch". I am not a SAM or a brat because I dont manipulate, I generally demand.

I see sub as somebody who likes to please, be told what to do, enjoys feeling "lower" in a way. Crudely said, because I know there is much more to it just as there is much more variables in my bottoming too. But that would be basics I think.

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I’m the primary mover in our kink relationship. While my SO enjoys what we do, his focus is on delivering what I want, rather than fulfilling a personal need to dominate. Left to his own devices he’d probably be happy with vanilla sex. If it weren’t for my continued pushing I doubt we'd engage in D/s at all.

Hence, dominant bottom.

I identify as bratty, though in an upfront sort of way, and principally because my SO looooves the behavior. If I didn’t find discussing my sexual needs with a partner deeply humiliating (a weird part of my kink) I might easily be a “do me bitch”.

Still, all the above is situational. I desire more: roughness, force, deeper submission. All fantasies I find wildly erotic. A desire to serve, not so much, though I do have strong caretaker tendencies. It could be that I would be fully submissive with a different partner. I just really don’t have enough experience in the BDSM arena to know for certain.

As I have a deep resentment towards my submissive needs being topped has been a good way to ease into kink. I’d likely revolt under the hand of an actual Domly type.

Down the road, once I've settled in a bit, I'll probably explore a bit more.

I am submissive because it is what feels right. I am no where near submissive 24/7, only on the occasion when me and my husband are both in the mood to play. Submission is a way to be free of everything and just flow with what he wants from me. I look at our relationship and it is so much more intricate than other relationships around us. Being submissive and him being dominant the few times we play when we both feel its right makes our relationship so much meaningful. Being submissive is who I am, and I need it and he needs me to be submissive. But I know he will never push me to a place where I will be stuck in a situation I have no control over.

Submission is a beautiful thing and I don't think I would want anything else. Being submissive is in my DNA, but if you saw me around you wouldn't believe it one bit.

Submission is a gift I give my husband and only my husband.

StrayKat said:

I would like to know why you two ladies identify as dominant bottoms. Would love to see it from some other perspective than mine.

For me it is about not letting my control down. I want things be done to me but I am the one who decides what and how. I dont want to please much anyone but myself, it is not about being emotionally involved either, I am a "do me bitch". I am not a SAM or a brat because I dont manipulate, I generally demand.

I see sub as somebody who likes to please, be told what to do, enjoys feeling "lower" in a way. Crudely said, because I know there is much more to it just as there is much more variables in my bottoming too. But that would be basics I think.

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This, from Stella's essay with extra sparkles...

Folks who know how they want to be done are often called "Bossy bottoms," or SAM's ("Smart Ass Masochists") or "Pillow Princesses" or other things, but they they might actually be "Dominant Bottoms." They might not be submissive at all, in other words. And really, there is no reason why they should try to be.

Tops who *want to provide* what such a person *wants to feel* get told that they are wimps, or not really Doms-- and in fact, they might not consider themselves to be dominant. They can call themselves "Service Tops," and IMO, that's a mighty fine and honorable position to claim. An active partner might not be suited to be the boss. If not, then there is no reason why they should try to be.


To your point, I never feel lower than my SO. I know what I want and like you, I demand it. Instead of going the switch route, which we could probably do because I have topped before, we choose to handle our power transfers from the same positions - him top and me bottom.
He doesn't want to carry the responsibility all the time, and we get a much better variety if we both make known what we like and need. Because I am always the bottom, and there are certain elements of control I just adore that he grabs, I identify as sub.
But in truth, as Stella pointed out to me some time ago, probably a Dominate Bottom... Which suits me nicely. As Endless Night says, I'm not sure how I might get on with a Domly Dom. That might be too... uneven for me.

My first instinct is to just reply with "because I am," but I don't know if that's an appropriate response, or if it needs further elucidation. All I know is that as soon as I discovered what it mean to be submissive, I identified 100%. It was a great discovery because as a teen/young woman, I fought against my natural submissive nature because I thought is what "modern, independent women" were supposed to do. However, I love to be controlled, told what to do, and serving my partner.

I don't know if all of this really point to my being submissive by nature, or not, but I have always enjoyed serving others (nonsexually and sexually) and have a terrible time making decisions without consulting others.

Thanks you Endless_Night and Collar_N_Cuffs, very nice insight
I learn more about myself as I learn from others.

As for rebelling against Domly Doms, yes I know the feeling. What they make me is crave to get them hanging in chains somewhere and practice cane&paddle&strapon. Nothing makes me want to actually fuck a man as such types. I am a weirdo

StrayKat said:

Thanks you Endless_Night and Collar_N_Cuffs, very nice insight
I learn more about myself as I learn from others.

As for rebelling against Domly Doms, yes I know the feeling. What they make me is crave to get them hanging in chains somewhere and practice cane&paddle&strapon. Nothing makes me want to actually fuck a man as such types. I am a weirdo

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Oh no... I have seen "weirdo" up close and personal and I'm pretty sure you don't come close

FurryFury said:

I'm pretty sure I was just born this way. It took me a long while to see and accept it and myself but my sexual orientation was always hard wired in there. My first sexual fantasizes were twisted ones of submission as I could understand it at that time with no words for it or knowledge of anyone else being this way.

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This resonates deeply with me. I can't add anything. I'm just over here with my hand in the air waving "Me too! Me too!"

The quote in my signature is from this article:

http://www.enslavement.org.uk/yld-healthy

When I read it in its entirety, I was an emotional wreck. Finally, I understood me. Most importantly, I understood that it was okay to be me.

Collar_N_Cuffs said:

Oh no... I have seen "weirdo" up close and personal and I'm pretty sure you don't come close

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*Snort*

I'm in complete agreement.

All_4_Love said:

< url]http://www.enslavement.org.uk/yld-healthy[/url]

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Interesting.

Have I seen something where we are not allowed to post links? I should really get better at the rules around here

Collar_N_Cuffs said:

Oh no... I have seen "weirdo" up close and personal and I'm pretty sure you don't come close

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Oh good, I can go further on then

Endless_Night said:

Interesting.

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I'm so glad that you read it. It's a bit of information but I believe it clarifies so much for some of us. If you're the type of person who finds themselves on a constant journey toward self actualization, or a deeper understanding of "why".

StrayKat said:

Oh good, I can go further on then

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I'm not sure of the laws in your country, but as long as you steer clear of Penguins, fan blades and rubber chickens I believe you should push forward

Collar_N_Cuffs said:

I'm not sure of the laws in your country, but as long as you steer clear of Penguins, fan blades and rubber chickens I believe you should push forward

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Oh damn, there goes my rubber chicken fantasy

Collar_N_Cuffs said:

I'm not sure of the laws in your country, but as long as you steer clear of Penguins, fan blades and rubber chickens I believe you should push forward

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I hereby declare I'm a weirdo. I've been spanked with a rubber chicken. Hurt like hell, actually.

All_4_Love said:

This resonates deeply with me. I can't add anything. I'm just over here with my hand in the air waving "Me too! Me too!"

The quote in my signature is from this article:

http://www.enslavement.org.uk/yld-healthy

When I read it in its entirety, I was an emotional wreck. Finally, I understood me. Most importantly, I understood that it was okay to be me.

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It is a very well written article. More so because it stresses on the needs of a submissive woman to have a submissive lifestyle more than just submissive sex. And that submissive lifestyle does not mean explicit sexuality round the clock.

I really appreciate sharing this article in the forum.

DarkRefuge said:

More so because it stresses on the needs of a submissive woman to have a submissive lifestyle more than just submissive sex.

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Unless, of course, she is just submissive in bed. Such exist too.

StrayKat said:

Unless, of course, she is just submissive in bed. Such exist too.

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Of course, but the woman who posted the link is not of that kind.