First time posting, long time reader

Hello all,

Like the thread title says, I've been surfing Literotica for a years. I've also been writing stories since I was a teenager (I'm in my mid-40's now).

Decided to take the plunge and register here in order to put up a few of the more risque stories I've concocted over the years. If any one is interested in what I hope is an interesting story with a good plot, I will be submitting one as soon as I get it proof-read and finish editing it.

It's a story about a female ex-con and has elements of non-consent, BDSM, light incest, true love, action and a whole bunch of other stuff.

DWB15 said:

Hello all,

Like the thread title says, I've been surfing Literotica for a years. I've also been writing stories since I was a teenager (I'm in my mid-40's now).

Decided to take the plunge and register here in order to put up a few of the more risque stories I've concocted over the years. If any one is interested in what I hope is an interesting story with a good plot, I will be submitting one as soon as I get it proof-read and finish editing it.

It's a story about a female ex-con and has elements of non-consent, BDSM, light incest, true love, action and a whole bunch of other stuff.

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Female ex-cons are hot!

Good luck with your story.

DWB15 - welcome.

MelissaBaby said:

Female ex-cons are hot!

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Everybody else here thinks so...

TarnishedPenny said:

Everybody else here thinks so...

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They are judging based on a small sample size.

Sound like a solid premise. Can you update the thread when it’s up?

PenLightStories said:

Sound like a solid premise. Can you update the thread when it’s up?

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Absolutely. I submitted it yesterday, still waiting for it to be approved.

And it has been approved. Enjoy.

https://www.literotica.com/s/paroled-day-01

DWB15 said:

And it has been approved. Enjoy.

https://www.literotica.com/s/paroled-day-01

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Overall, not a bad first effort. A little repetitious in places (The narrator tells us in consecutive paragraphs that she is older than most of the prisoners, for example), and could have benefited from one more careful read through.

I don't know your gender, but the narrative voice seemed a bit masculine to me. Your description of the physical part of their sex together, the mechanics of it was more convincing to me than the emotional aspects.

"You want to?" she whispered, her eyes bright. I nodded. She rolled her panties down her thighs and sidestepped over my head, facing my feet. For the first time in my life, I was face to face with another woman's pussy. She was very wet, her clit engorged and pushing through its hood. Her pussy flexed closed, then opened, her wetness pooling up.

Was I really doing this? I was aroused like I hadn't been in a long time, and experimentally pushed a finger against her opening. Angie made a little moan as I slipped into her. For a few seconds I pumped in and out of her, glad little cries coming from between my legs as did. She spread her legs wider, and I gently rubbed a thumb across her clit as I finger fucked her.

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That's quite a big deal, right, having oral sex with another woman for the first time? You acknowledge that, but then, her entire response boils down to "I was aroused". It would have been much stronger if we got more of what was going on in her head.

I will say that I started the story thinking, "Well, let's see how wrong the author got what prison is like, and what it does to a person" (I hope I am not being presumptuous about your circumstances), and I was pleasantly surprised that you got things right, for the most part. One thing that really annoyed me was this:

Anyway...I flipped State's Evidence on him for a reduced sentence and wound up doing three years at a minimum security women's prison in northern Florida. I did 16 months inside and was on probation for the rest.

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Believe me, no one who has done time will ever confuse their sentence and their time served.

I'd like to read more, but I'd urge you to be a little more careful in future efforts. This is a good start, but could have been stronger.

MelissaBaby said:

Overall, not a bad first effort. A little repetitious in places (The narrator tells us in consecutive paragraphs that she is older than most of the prisoners, for example), and could have benefited from one more careful read through.

I don't know your gender, but the narrative voice seemed a bit masculine to me. Your description of the physical part of their sex together, the mechanics of it was more convincing to me than the emotional aspects.



That's quite a big deal, right, having oral sex with another woman for the first time? You acknowledge that, but then, her entire response boils down to "I was aroused". It would have been much stronger if we got more of what was going on in her head.

I will say that I started the story thinking, "Well, let's see how wrong the author got what prison is like, and what it does to a person" (I hope I am not being presumptuous about your circumstances), and I was pleasantly surprised that you got things right, for the most part. One thing that really annoyed me was this:



Believe me, no one who has done time will ever confuse their sentence and their time served.

I'd like to read more, but I'd urge you to be a little more careful in future efforts. This is a good start, but could have been stronger.

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Thank you for reading and I appreciate the critique.

Very good for a first story. It's a good idea, with a decent balance of plot and sex. The sex scenes are nice and slow and detailed. Ok, yes, it does come across as a male fantasy, but I don't think that matters.

hadruprider said:

Very good for a first story. It's a good idea, with a decent balance of plot and sex. The sex scenes are nice and slow and detailed. Ok, yes, it does come across as a male fantasy, but I don't think that matters.

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Thank you.

Nice and summery.

I like this story. Has a blue collar feel with a touch of trailer park. You evoke a nice, quiet summery atmosphere with a pair of just under middle age characters. A nice little story of summer love on the margins. It's a good start.

PrevertOne said:

I like this story. Has a blue collar feel with a touch of trailer park. You evoke a nice, quiet summery atmosphere with a pair of just under middle age characters. A nice little story of summer love on the margins. It's a good start.

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Thank you.

Part 2

https://www.literotica.com/s/paroled-pt-02

Heads-up, but the links in this thread to pt. 1 are broken — they should be this:

https://www.literotica.com/s/paroled-pt-01