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Would you?

UnderYourSpell said:
Ooops sorry Neo your subject is Write a poem from the perspective of a villain in a fairy tale
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Little Porky Tartare

The story did not end with a huff and a puff,
our dear author left out their little pig-sister
who went to visit her big pig brothers
in their new windproof red brick house.

Near out of steam, I caught a piggy
girl by her plump and scrumptious ankle
Tickled that fanny with a spankity-spank
until her curly-q tail unfurled with delight.
She squealed and squealed for more,
so loud the three little pigs came
to her rescue, but were much too late to win.
I already ate her inside and out, left her
as I huffed and puffed a cigarette back to my den.
 
Neonurotic said:
Little Porky Tartare

The story did not end with a huff and a puff,
our dear author left out their little pig-sister
who went to visit her big pig brothers
in their new windproof red brick house.

Near out of steam, I caught a piggy
girl by her plump and scrumptious ankle
Tickled that fanny with a spankity-spank
until her curly-q tail unfurled with delight.
She squealed and squealed for more,
so loud the three little pigs came
to her rescue, but were much too late to win.
I already ate her inside and out, left her
as I huffed and puffed a cigarette back to my den.
Click to expand...


Ahahahahaha! You big bad coffee swilling wolf, you!
 
todski28 said:
*Margaret Tobin*

They bring them in
special, damaged goods
viewed from behind inch thick
sheets of bullet proof glass
help is what they're here for,
I question how much help
is actually had, imprisoned
shackled to beds, drugged, drooling
while friend's, lover's and children's
tears pool on pale cheeks

a lady looked on at me,
asked if I were her son,
voice quivering slight octave quaver
why are you people torturing me
wails of despair, more tears, matted hair,
drug glazed stare,
her abject terror infectious
shaking my head no words for
this disheveled mess of humanity

wails evolve into screeches,
I want out,
I want OUT,
I WANT OUT
alarms blare,
monotone computer voice radios,
Code black room 2,
Code black room 2,
4 people descend on this wreck of a creature
she spits and claws,

pin her to the glass so they can pull
down her pants, jab her with
liquid sleep, 5 seconds she
slides down the glass,
reduced to a window licker,

2 hours later windows are cleaned,
polished of her unclean taint
ready for another of life's
crazies
ready for us to peer through
the looking glass and pity
Click to expand...
what an intelligent and interesting choice of response, tods :cool:

you had me googling Margaret Tobin, and the 2006 'state of the art' mental health institution in her name.

especially liked this: liquid sleep

4 people descend on this wreck of a creature
she spits and claws,
Click to expand...

in this part, i found myself substituting 'hesperus' here, and adding something about 'lost in her own tempest' to link 'hesperus' and 'liquid sleep'

4 people descend on this hesperus
she spits and claws,
lost in her own tempest

also liked the social commentary aspect of the final lines. nice one, T :rose:
 
butters said:
what an intelligent and interesting choice of response, tods :cool:

you had me googling Margaret Tobin, and the 2006 'state of the art' mental health institution in her name.

especially liked this: liquid sleep



in this part, i found myself substituting 'hesperus' here, and adding something about 'lost in her own tempest' to link 'hesperus' and 'liquid sleep'

4 people descend on this hesperus
she spits and claws,
lost in her own tempest

also liked the social commentary aspect of the final lines. nice one, T :rose:
Click to expand...

Another day in the life of Todski, I worked there as an emergency response guard for 12months thanks for the feedback Butters :D

Neo that is spectacular! You need to submit that!!!!
 
Last edited:
butters said:
really really really like this one, champers!

one niggle only, and that is i would have preferred a different phrase instead 'to young dancer' even though it translates from 'la jeune danseuse'. for whatever reason, my brain wants to read one word instead of two, or a prettier(?) phrase. might be that 'la jeune danseuese' is such a prettily ornate phrase that is renders 'young dancer' sort of flabby by comparison. can i suggest an alternative? why no, no i can't :D
Click to expand...

What about:
We have followed her from enfant,
to fourteen, to chorus,
to prima ballerina and what wrong
has he done to paint her into adulthood?​
I think that makes us recollect the sculpture which gave me the idea for the poem.

Petite-danseuse-Degas.jpg

petite danseuse de quatorze ans
 
Neonurotic said:
Little Porky Tartare
Click to expand...

I keep coming back to this and giggling, remembering Disney's Silly Symphony and the Big Bad Wolf in that one. I just went googling for the youtube video and just about died laughing at the family photos on the wall at 5:35 and 5:49 in. Silly Symphonies indeed!
 
UnderYourSpell said:
Tess your subject is a trip to Africa, either the actual trip or what you do there (or both)
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In the Steps of Mary Slessor

After my sea journey this boat
is a toy skimming murk
and the mysterious between
walls of green so solid
they threaten swallowing
the outboard's throaty purr.
The guide and I watch for
hippos, a dip in these waters
is not advised.

My arms still aches
from viral invasion,
suffering to be safe
from unfamiliar ailments
something Mary never had.

Oscar's presence reassures,
I lie back, and watch the water
slide by.

This is not what
what I expected, oily water
instead of grassy plains,
the Africa of Attenborough.

But the Congo is the heart,
the blood, the life of Africa
and I am here to spread the word.
 
champagne1982 said:
What about:
We have followed her from enfant,
to fourteen, to chorus,
to prima ballerina and what wrong
has he done to paint her into adulthood?​
I think that makes us recollect the sculpture which gave me the idea for the poem.

Petite-danseuse-Degas.jpg

petite danseuse de quatorze ans
Click to expand...

what about 'jeunesse'?

We have followed her from enfant
to jeunesse, chorus
to prima ballerina

how do you feel about ensemble instead of chorus?



beautiful sculpture :rose:
 
butters said:
what about 'jeunesse'?

We have followed her from enfant
to jeunesse, chorus
to prima ballerina

how do you feel about ensemble instead of chorus?



beautiful sculpture :rose:
Click to expand...

I love ensemble but I didn't want to create a piece full of francais, as it were, because I'm not really a French speaker. I used the language in the title but avoided it elsewhere in the body. I thought about your suggestion though and decided on enfant instead of child but fourteen to relate to "little dancer age fourteen". So, peut etre:

We have followed her from enfant
to fourteen, ensemble
to prima ballerina​
 
UnderYourSpell said:
Bronz your subject is walking in high heeled shoes :D
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She is barefoot walking in high heel shoes,
her heels never touch the ground.
She lives on her toes,
a few inches above the world,
halfway to a spin, almost a leap,
a dance hidden in every step.
 
champagne1982 said:
I keep coming back to this and giggling, remembering Disney's Silly Symphony and the Big Bad Wolf in that one. I just went googling for the youtube video and just about died laughing at the family photos on the wall at 5:35 and 5:49 in. Silly Symphonies indeed!
Click to expand...

I remember that. :D Love the old Disney. The knew Bugs Bunny is just sad in comparison to the old one.
 
bronzeage said:
She is barefoot walking in high heel shoes,
her heels never touch the ground.
She lives on her toes,
a few inches above the world,
halfway to a spin, almost a leap,
a dance hidden in every step.
Click to expand...

Bronze, this is a special little piece!
 
bronzeage said:
She is barefoot walking in high heel shoes,
her heels never touch the ground.
She lives on her toes,
a few inches above the world,
halfway to a spin, almost a leap,
a dance hidden in every step.
Click to expand...

such lovely pictures :cool:
 
UnderYourSpell said:
Champ your subject is a clandestine meeting (yours or someone else)
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Punctuality

There on Craig’s List I thought I languished,
ignored and exposed; pleading for your attention.
Why wouldn’t you just text the code words
to my phone? I have a special ringtone for you.

Reservation time plus eight minutes
I feel like a Nassau engineer
ready for launch, but there’s no
All clear from the capsule.

Sweat clammy palms wringing
anxiety out of my hands.
Tension is not a precursor
to relaxation, just show up.

The hostess looks exasperated
leading you almost by the hand
to my secluded corner.
I question your desire for this.
 
I must get back to my duties, you're all writing such wonderfully inventive 'stuff' I am impressed and there's me not keeping up my end of the bargain!

Neo your subject is The G Spot
Champ your subject is If you were a man in bed with a woman
Bronz your subject is If you were a woman in bed with a man
Tess your subject is literally getting lost in a book (The Karma Sutra)
Tod your subject is getting caught Skinny dipping

Yeah I'm in a weird frame of mind :)
 
UnderYourSpell said:
I must get back to my duties, you're all writing such wonderfully inventive 'stuff' I am impressed and there's me not keeping up my end of the bargain!

Neo your subject is The G Spot
Champ your subject is If you were a man in bed with a woman
Bronz your subject is If you were a woman in bed with a man
Tess your subject is literally getting lost in a book (The Karma Sutra)
Tod your subject is getting caught Skinny dipping

Yeah I'm in a weird frame of mind :)
Click to expand...

You missed Butters ;)

(sorry to throw you under the bus there hehehe)

I think I need to steer clear of reality based poems but I have a funny one for this one... So best get to work.......
 
todski28 said:
You missed Butters ;)

(sorry to throw you under the bus there hehehe)

I think I need to steer clear of reality based poems but I have a funny one for this one... So best get to work.......
Click to expand...

Think I probably missed Will and Mollie too but I'm lost as to who has written what now. Who would have thought I would need a spreadsheet when I started this thread? :)

Butters your subject is Frottage on a packed train
Will your subject is Waking up next to a stranger
Mollie your subject is Making mayonnaise sexy
 
UnderYourSpell said:
Think I probably missed Will and Mollie too but I'm lost as to who has written what now. Who would have thought I would need a spreadsheet when I started this thread? :)

Butters your subject is Frottage on a packed train
Will your subject is Waking up next to a stranger
Mollie your subject is Making mayonnaise sexy
Click to expand...
:catroar:
 
todski28 said:
You missed Butters ;)

(sorry to throw you under the bus there hehehe)

I think I need to steer clear of reality based poems but I have a funny one for this one... So best get to work.......
Click to expand...

i was kind of keeping my head down and hoping she wouldn't notice me at the back :rose:

looking forward to reading yours, and the next batch from the poets :D
 
UnderYourSpell said:
<snip> Who would have thought I would need a spreadsheet when I started this thread? :)<snip>
Click to expand...
Moreso, who'd have thought you'd trick us all into writing an erotic poem at the same time... I wonder how I can put a different spin on this... oy.
 
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