A nuance of humiliation

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Deserves a few replies at least!

I don't have any suggestions personally however. And that's probably because I'm not much good at inventing more 'action' things to go on a list - it's all about the actual people/personalities involved, for me. It's about the human dynamics, not the actions, although hey, I'm all ears to hear any suggestions - I'd still use them in context of the specific individual I'm having some erotic or sexual encounter with. But it really depends on the person and whether it makes sense for them to respond in that way to that 'item on the list' as it were.

I think you're very right about it being humiliation, but then again not quite.

For me I think it's about the person doing it and their intent. The potential for humiliation is still there without the intent and that makes it hot, but without the edge it could have had.

IrisAlthea said:

I think you're very right about it being humiliation, but then again not quite.

For me I think it's about the person doing it and their intent. The potential for humiliation is still there without the intent and that makes it hot, but without the edge it could have had.

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I think you are right about intent. It's definitely not the same without that sharp edge.

EbonyTigress said:

This is a bit detailed for second post so I should explain I've been on the story site for years so I just kind of feel like I'm already a part of the lit community and this is just an extension


'm not sure how to explain this. It's not outfight humiliation I am talking about, or maybe it is, but a certain kind. I am talking about those ways that your Master/Mistress or Dom(me) can make you feel like a greedy slut or a nympho or a horny sub who would do anything to please him/her. I'm also talking about things s/he does to make you feel like his/her sex toy, available to be used

Things that have done this for me:

-getting fingered over my panties until I am begging for more direct touch, then getting scolded for being a greedy slut

-partner remarking on how wet I get when spanked, and how I must really like it

-ditto for pussy spanking. So hot when a Domme I used to play with once scolded me for getting pussy juice all over the strap she was spanking my pussy with. (Of course, making me look at what I had done while getting scolded)

-Partner's fingers in my dripping wet pussy and then shoved into my mouth to taste what a "wet, horny little slut" I am.

Getting fingered while on my hands and knees and told my moaning sounds like a "bitch in heat". Ditto for doggie style sex and being asked if or told how I like to get fucked like a "bitch in heat" or a "dirty dog."

When I kneel ion front of my partner and let him tweak my nipples or reach down and stroke my pussy while I suck him.

Dirty talk while I am giving a blowjob, of how I am a "good little whore" or "good little cocksucker."


What does it for you?

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Like what's already been suggested, you are all on the right track. Humiliation is very subjective. What's humiliating for one person is just sexy talk to another. Some people aren't accustomed to being called a slut or a whore, while others might consider such names as affectionate sweet talk.

So, it's really up to how you and your partner communicate after a scene or maybe how your partner reads your reactions when they use certain words or phrases. Some words and/or phrases can trigger certain emotional feelings in someone. Skilled partners can read their submissive's reactions to what they say, and sometimes it's just what that partner likes to say to any submissive they play with. If they see something works, they might keep using it. And if not, they stop using it.

I'm a little refined with any humiliation I might use on someone but like the above examples, I prefer to make it related to sexuality. When you make an example of someone's sexual arousal, you can embarrass them. The way you mention it can be seen as simple embarrassment, or for others, it can be humiliation. It's a part of the chemical connection between partners and how something is mentioned.

In this case, it seems they were all making a big deal out of your arousal. As long as you enjoy this, I see nothing at all wrong with it. In fact, I see this kind of humiliation as productive to the scene, because it can actually end up causing more arousal in you. Obviously, you were enjoying things, or you wouldn't have been so wet in the first place.

An example of what I consider nonproductive humiliation would be calling someone unworthy of someone's respect or less than human. Also, I think talking down to someone because of their race or because of some physical abnormality they may have is going too far. Of course, there are some people that thrive on that kind of thing. See, it's all up to how you personally look at things.

Humiliation is a new frontier for me. I've always associated it with verbal degradation, a big turn off. Calling me "slut" or "whore" is more likely to earn my partner a punch in the balls than evoke an erotic response.

Recently we were playing - me naked with hands cuffed behind my back. My SO (fully dressed) took firm hold of my chin, steadied me with a hand at the small of my back, and forced me into a long, slow, open-mouthed kiss.

I was immediately assaulted by a wave of intense humiliation, followed by an unexpected surge of arousal. Combined, they were so strong I could hardly stand up. The whole thing was...weird. But, wildly erotic. I was quite excited for for the rest of our session.

I'm still not sure why the experience was so humiliating. Or why the humiliation was so arousing. Whatever the case, it certainly added something to the evening!

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Hmmm. Interesting Point. Normally, I don't consider full mouth kissing particularly humiliating, so it may have to do with "the zone".

As mentioned, we're relative newbies. I've been surprised more than once by finding an unexpected activity arousing. Who knows, perhaps I'll come to adore a little verbal humiliation!

Everyone's different, and it's very difficult to know in advance what one might find humiliating, arousing or just annoying. Careful experimentation is the way forward. Find out what you like and then ask for more of it!