Can I try one out?
I was tinkering with the settings on the Word2003 and had a bit of a giggle with this (it stems from the idiocy a pal & I get up to when working together).
The Wand’ring Triangle Player
There was a time when musicians, unless permanently employed in a major orchestra, would wander from place to place playing their instruments in villages and the smaller towns and, to use a modern expression, ‘busking’. The pay wasn’t good but the experience gained with a wide variety of audiences, appreciative or not, stood one in good stead for the glittering career which would surely come “sometime soon.” Brass, woodwind and stringed instruments could be heard almost everywhere in some quiet spot banging out the old favourites with gusto, if somewhat shakily.
The itinerant Triangle Player was naturally in some difficulty and many players of this, the purest of toned instruments, was forced by circumstances to add another instrument to his accomplishments, such as a Glockenspiel.
The conduct of these players was regulated by the Triangle Guild and the rules were very strictly enforced. For example, contra-puntal and other of the more modern forms of Jazz was very frowned upon and some actively discouraged it. The result was that there were several very good exponents of these musical forms, often demonstrated in crowded, smoke-filled rooms and similar venues. Players were often disguised and seldom played the same venue two nights running. An underground network of enthusiasts seemed to ensure there was a good and appreciative audience and any venue.
But for the majority of Guild members, the pay was almost non-existent; that kind of jazz is understood by few exponents. Many members of the Triangle Guild took to teaching or anything to pass on the skilled craft to the next generation of would-be musicians. Some were keen on the metalwork and practiced the craft of maker; different materials produced a different timbre and this was enhanced by the style of the striker. Some beautiful designs and constructions may be seen (by appointment) at the Musician’s Guild Museum.
Any member of the Guild convicted of serious transgression would be punished. More often than not, this might be a simple fine, or ‘community work’, which was, of course, unpaid. The most extreme punishment was being dismissed the Guild.
If being “drummed out” was the most humiliating form of exit from the military, the ritual discharge of a Guild member was damning in the extreme and his future as a musician was terminated. November was the favoured month owing to the chances of earning more occurred round the Christmas festivities.
The order of service was strictly laid down in the Regulations:
Note: A workbench shall be made available, and equipped with a vice of adequate size and a number of hammers, saws and other tools. It is to be placed in a prominent position adjacent to the dais. Power tools may be permitted where necessary.
“1. Upon confirmation of the sentence handed down by the High Council of the Guild, the convicted member must appear before a meeting of his fellows in the Lodge under the chairmanship of the Lodge Master.
“2. A member of the High Council must preside over the proceedings to confirm the sentence has been carried out.
“3. A member of the Lodge shall act as executioner, such member being chosen by ballot from amongst the members of the Lodge. A deputy, or assistant, will be similarly chosen.
“4. The convicted member shall be dressed in uniform with all buttons or badges fastened and any decorative braid in good order.
“5. Members of the Lodge shall form an open square. A raised dais shall be employed that all members may witness the justice better.
“6. The convicted member, carrying his instrument, shall be escorted into the room by two Lodge members in good standing, each carrying their instruments, cased. Two “further members” shall follow the convicted member and Escorts at a distance of three paces.
“7. The convicted member shall be presented to the Council member and shall identify himself, having corroboration by others at need.
“8. The Council Member shall identify himself and repeat the Sentence of the Council.
“9. The escort shall uncase their instruments, passing the cases to the “further members”. At a signal from the Lodge Master, the escorts will strike their instruments with a solemn stroke.
“10. The Council member will then take the instrument of the convicted member and hand it to the executioner. The Council Member will then remove all badges, marks of membership, braids and other decorative features from the convicted member. Each pull will be terminated by the striking of the instruments be the Escorts.
“11. When all badges and symbols are removed, the Executioner shall destroy the convicted member’s instrument by such means as may be available at the workbench.
“12. The convicted member shall leave the room under escort, all members turning away from the convicted member."
What usually happens after that is a short act of service and everyone repairs to the Bar for a glass of restorative. The convicted member is now condemned to wander the streets as he will, shunned by all musicians.