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Companion to the 5 Senses Challenge

HarryHill said:
..
everybody needs at least one and a thesaurus. just copy the word in question and paste it into bing or google.
Click to expand...

Are you saying I can't get away with my roguish charm and hide behind the pleas of "I'm new" any more :D
 
psst... keep looking straight ahead


whatever you do


don't


look


down

:eek: :D
 
Nice work remec

Rogueslady, one of your best, getting better with each write.
 
Remec: I love fruitcake. Exactly the kind you described. I was hoping you would be the one to follow up!
 
@ gm, that's how it goes sometimes. Been there, frustrating as hell too. Ange's word list was fantastic. I took awhile writing mine and was hoping I wasn't too late when I hit submit. I really like adding lyrics to a poem. I often listen to the song I want to use while writing the poem.
 
Neonurotic said:
@ gm, that's how it goes sometimes. Been there, frustrating as hell too. Ange's word list was fantastic. I took awhile writing mine and was hoping I wasn't too late when I hit submit. I really like adding lyrics to a poem. I often listen to the song I want to use while writing the poem.
Click to expand...

You should be glad I changed it. I originally had cabbage for the smell and squeak for the sound. But that sounded too awful.

Your thread just keeps on giving. I am so impressed by what I read in there. And speaking of giving, isn't that nice you have a Christmas present for us on your avatar. So festive! I think there is a song about it, too. :D

:heart:
 
Angeline said:
Your thread just keeps on giving. I am so impressed by what I read in there.
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I know, right? Some awesome poems that totally suck you in. Five senses words works for story writing as well. I use it in every scene to immerse a reader in the story and keep them there to the end.


Angeline said:
And speaking of giving, isn't that nice you have a Christmas present for us on your avatar. So festive! I think there is a song about it, too. :D

:heart:
Click to expand...

Last year it was mistletoe! :kiss:



eta: thanks for not adding the cabbage smell!
 
Neonurotic said:
I know, right? Some awesome poems that totally suck you in. Five senses words works for story writing as well. I use it in every scene to immerse a reader in the story and keep them there to the end.




Last year it was mistletoe! :kiss:



eta: thanks for not adding the cabbage smell!
Click to expand...


Haha that's right. I had forgotten about that. Well, muah. :eek:
 
Desejo said:
Remec: I love fruitcake. Exactly the kind you described. I was hoping you would be the one to follow up!
Click to expand...

Glad to have been of service.

Porter cake is one of the few types of fruitcake I've really ever liked, and that's sort of minimal, at best. It used to be one of my dad's two annual baking contributions, that and an Irish cake called a tea brack. The latter is the much better cake; a black and yellow raisin cake where the raisins are left to sit overnight in a soak of strong tea and Irish whiskey before baking with them.

:cool:
 
Remec - kudos for making Hansel and Gretel come back to life. periodicals in the cage had me cracking up...and you used the words so well that I had to go back and check which words I gave you. That, to me, is the mark of a good 5 senses poem.
 
Neonurotic said:
Stolen From a Hoarder

The man bent over showing
his fat can like two honey-baked hams,
wheezed as he dug through boxes
of his treasures.

"It's just the thing you gotta see"
is really nothing to me.

Bristles of a broom never touched
a corner, nor soap and water.
Items stacked to the ceiling,
best served in a landfill are pawed
with sticky strawberry soda fingers.

He inspects and admires it all,
places them with care into
cockroach and spider infested cartons.

Then he does find it and he is right,
it is the thing I gotta see, need,
hunger. I fake boredom,
let the fizz die on my tongue
as the bottle of Fanta Orange
did in my hand ages ago.

He believes, turns and moves
on to the next carton of jewels.
Stealth flicks a spider away,
finds a way into a pocket,
making the thing, my thing.




sight: a cat
sounds: birds on telephone wire
scent: smoke
taste: hope
touch: coins in a pocket
Click to expand...

Outstanding poem!
 
I like todski's opening in his poem today:

the pride in his eyes died
at my dishonourable discharge
unfit to sit in any pit lest it
be filled with manure stench

It grabbed my attention and set an expectation. Assuming the eyes were those of his father, I was curious to know where he might go with it.

I might have left out "stench" because I thinks it's redundant with "manure" but that may be a quibble.
 
greenmountaineer said:
I like todski's opening in his poem today:

the pride in his eyes died
at my dishonourable discharge
unfit to sit in any pit lest it
be filled with manure stench

It grabbed my attention and set an expectation. Assuming the eyes were those of his father, I was curious to know where he might go with it.

I might have left out "stench" because I thinks it's redundant with "manure" but that may be a quibble.
Click to expand...

I see we are of the same mind today, gm. I linked the Whole thing and made my way over to post. very nice use of words tod a good one to submit I think :cattail:
 
thank you gm and harry

those nit picks gm are crucial they help you see things from another perspective. also the things that need to be thought about in future writes, or revisions. I have a hard time deciphering those that I should, or shouldn't submit or edit, or even write lol, a lot of my stuff floating around I should probably look at grabbing some and workshopping them!

too little time to do much with anything at the moment though
 
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