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Old 10-21-2014, 12:53 PM   #326
ThatOneBlindGuy
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Originally Posted by AlwaysSoaked View Post
Too funny! I imagine if that bed could tell stories to the next people who owned it!
Oh now that's even funnier! Someone's on the brink of falling asleep, and the bed's like, "Hey, aren't you gonna sit on me? Maybe do some rocking back and forth or something?"
The owner starts, going through a complex sequence of emotions as they attempt to absorb the fact that their bed can talk, then they attempt to figure out why it just asked them that. "Wh... wh... wah?"
"Oh it's just that my previous owner did that all the time! Seemed to make her super happy, so I thought..."
Hilarity ensues.
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Old 10-21-2014, 03:55 PM   #327
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I've used my husband a couple of times.
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Old 10-21-2014, 03:56 PM   #328
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I've used my husband a couple of times.
Oh, stop it already...
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Old 10-21-2014, 04:01 PM   #329
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Oh, stop it already...
Yeah if he'd been any better it woulda been more than a couple yanno?
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Old 10-21-2014, 04:03 PM   #330
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Yeah if he'd been any better it woulda been more than a couple yanno?
I know, saw your other posts...
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Old 10-21-2014, 04:14 PM   #331
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Laughing so hard it hurts!!!! Thank you, laughs are always accepted!
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Old 10-21-2014, 04:20 PM   #332
southern_gal
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Originally Posted by ThatOneBlindGuy View Post
Oh now that's even funnier! Someone's on the brink of falling asleep, and the bed's like, "Hey, aren't you gonna sit on me? Maybe do some rocking back and forth or something?"
The owner starts, going through a complex sequence of emotions as they attempt to absorb the fact that their bed can talk, then they attempt to figure out why it just asked them that. "Wh... wh... wah?"
"Oh it's just that my previous owner did that all the time! Seemed to make her super happy, so I thought..."
Hilarity ensues.
And here all I ever worried about was the friggin walls talking. Now I gotta worry about the bed posts running their mouths? Dammit Now I gotta get new furniture for every room in the house.


and fast.
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Old 10-21-2014, 04:22 PM   #333
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Too funny! I imagine if that bed could tell stories to the next people who owned it!
Did it warp??
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Old 10-21-2014, 05:08 PM   #334
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Did it warp??
Hi Southern_gal,
I don't recall warping but I preferred the one post so it might have gotten shiny through use? An excuse to buy new furniture is no bad thing.
I was so furious at my Mom when she sold it (it converted into bunk beds and friends needed a set) but it was immeasurably worse because I had no legitimate reason that I could share!!!!
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Old 10-21-2014, 05:13 PM   #335
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Hi Southern_gal,
I don't recall warping but I preferred the one post so it might have gotten shiny through use? An excuse to buy new furniture is no bad thing.
I was so furious at my Mom when she sold it (it converted into bunk beds and friends needed a set) but it was immeasurably worse because I had no legitimate reason that I could share!!!!
I know the feeling of loss. I wanted to have my fav toy mounted and hung () over the fireplace when it died. Cried for weeks. Ok not weeks but for certain until my new one came in. The fed ex man is cute but he has this smirk on his face all the time.
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Old 10-21-2014, 09:54 PM   #336
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I know the feeling of loss. I wanted to have my fav toy mounted and hung () over the fireplace when it died. Cried for weeks. Ok not weeks but for certain until my new one came in. The fed ex man is cute but he has this smirk on his face all the time.
Oh my gosh...I just got a toy of epicness...now feeling that I should buy multiples in fear of its future demise!!! Want to meet up for a furniture/toy/shoe shopping holiday??? B
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Old 10-22-2014, 09:09 AM   #337
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Oh my gosh...I just got a toy of epicness...now feeling that I should buy multiples in fear of its future demise!!! Want to meet up for a furniture/toy/shoe shopping holiday??? B
I have a drawer full of spare toys but only use two. My rabbit just does it for me and my other fav is my dolphin. It was cheap (which isn't the point) and I've had it a few years now. It's nose wiggles and the whole thing vibrates and omg it just does it for me.

And yeah, I'd go shopping for just about anything. Add a sexy and silly woman to that picture to go with me and we are heading to the toy store. There is only one near me that I will go in. It's called trace of lace and they have lots of lingerie and stuff. The other stores are like adult video stores and what not and I would not be caught dead in one of them. Really creepy just from the outside.
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Old 10-22-2014, 11:39 AM   #338
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I know the feeling of loss. I wanted to have my fav toy mounted and hung () over the fireplace when it died. Cried for weeks.
we've been lucky, anything that has died of natural causes has for the most part been surplus to requirement in the toy department......BUT i bought Mrs H to relatively high end rechargeable Vibes and for the past 2 weeks i've been playing hunt the charger. Having tested/tried all the various chargers we have scattered around the house i can only conclude that a/ i've been an idiot and junked it/them b/ it'll turn up a week after i manage to source a replacement.


However, there will be a sense of loss as/when/if the Hitachi dies as the new model doesn't live up to the old.....
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Old 10-26-2014, 08:10 AM   #339
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Recently, the handle of a flashlight....long and thick....and sooo good
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Old 10-26-2014, 08:16 AM   #340
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Recently, the handle of a flashlight....long and thick....and sooo good
isn't it a little cold, though?
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Old 10-28-2014, 08:27 PM   #341
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Recently, the handle of a flashlight....long and thick....and sooo good
I've used the plastic ones with the smooth grip, they rock.
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Old 10-28-2014, 08:59 PM   #342
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Very arousing thread.
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Old 10-29-2014, 01:14 AM   #343
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*blush*
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Old 10-29-2014, 02:36 AM   #344
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kjugouihnolkn l/km

Last edited by bighipnicetits : 01-08-2015 at 03:02 PM.
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Old 10-29-2014, 12:17 PM   #345
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electric toothbrush
Electric pencil sharpener
Playstation controler
Hot tub jets
(Public) pool jets x)
The tub faucet
Detachable shower head
Water gives the most intense orgasms...mmmm
Playstation controller sounds like fun. I kind of hope the playstation was running a game with a lot of force feedback at the time. Hot!
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Old 11-20-2014, 02:43 AM   #346
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Definitely was
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Old 11-20-2014, 09:26 AM   #347
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Beer bottle, wine bottle, courgette, cucumber , banana, roll on deodourant bottle, etc etc.
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Old 11-20-2014, 09:36 AM   #348
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Beer bottle, wine bottle, courgette, cucumber , banana, roll on deodourant bottle, etc etc.
...the things that go on in the old country....
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ůme having funů


Oh and since this is a subject very dear to me and close to my heart, would you ladies please visit the Blowjob Questionnaire and leave your contribution...


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Old 11-20-2014, 10:06 AM   #349
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These are not very innovative and probably have already been mentioned numerous times. A long Pyrex dildo and one of my silky slips. Using another woman's slip would have been even more effective!
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Old 11-28-2014, 07:56 PM   #350
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Uhm.. my bike seat.
I do need to try a ridged cucumber.. I've always been too afraid of "stretching myself out".
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