exercise - repetition

wildsweetone

i am what i am
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Feb 1, 2002
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not to be outdone by the previous 'no repetition' thread, i've just dreamed up this exercise.

write one paragraph containing six sentences, two sentences of which must have the same first three words - it does not matter which sentences contain the repetition.

:rose:
 
write one paragraph containing six sentences, two sentences of which must have the same first three words - it does not matter which sentences contain the repetition.
Mother died today is the first sentence of the Stuart Gilbert 1946 English language translation of Albert Camus' seminal novel L’Étranger. This is the same translation given by Joseph Laredo in his 1982 version, but Matthew Ward, in his 1989 version rendered the first sentence as Maman died today, explaining his word choice in a fairly lengthy (given that the actual novel is so short) introduction. It may have been a preface. I was once plagiarized by someone using the name Meursault, which is the name of the protagonist of the Camus novel, though the subject of my writing that was stolen by this "Meursault" was about an entirely different author altogether. If I am rambling, it is because I am upset. Mother died today.
 
My Wife and Her Sister

She took off her top and threw it on the bed. She knew doing this excited me but that is not why she did it. She did it because she wanted to change blouses and did not care in the least if I watched her. My wife came in to the room, told her sister she liked the top and could she try it on. She took off her top and handed it to my wife. My wife tried it on and said it fit well.
 
not to be outdone by the previous 'no repetition' thread, i've just dreamed up this exercise.

write one paragraph containing six sentences, two sentences of which must have the same first three words - it does not matter which sentences contain the repetition.

:rose:
EDIT: I didn't do this right the first time!!

Tomorrow begins anew. A new day and a new dream to live. Memories will be created as dreams are dreamt. You will find the music in the sound of voices chattering. Today will die with quiet death at the close of the eleventh hour. Tomorrow begins anew.
 
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It was raining today and I stood in the parking lot waiting for her to come outside. She said she would meet me here thirty minutes ago. It was raining but I was still waiting. Her coworkers looked at me like I was crazy. Who knows, maybe I was. She said that she would be on time but on time was thirty minutes ago.
 
He slid slowly into the seat of his new sports car. He loved the feel of the leather seats, the vibration of the engine; the feeling of power as he revved the engine.
“Are going to sit in the garage all day?” His wife taunted while standing naked in the doorway. Exiting the car he slowly removed his clothes as she turned her back to him slapping her own ass. He slid slowly into her from behind.
 
EDIT: I didn't do this right the first time!!

Tomorrow begins anew. A new day and a new dream to live. Memories will be created as dreams are dreamt. You will find the music in the sound of voices chattering. Today will die with quiet death at the close of the eleventh hour. Tomorrow begins anew.

looks right to me now :)



It was raining today and I stood in the parking lot waiting for her to come outside. She said she would meet me here thirty minutes ago. It was raining but I was still waiting. Her coworkers looked at me like I was crazy. Who knows, maybe I was. She said that she would be on time but on time was thirty minutes ago.

nicely done. interesting repetition elsewhere too.

He slid slowly into the seat of his new sports car. He loved the feel of the leather seats, the vibration of the engine; the feeling of power as he revved the engine.
“Are going to sit in the garage all day?” His wife taunted while standing naked in the doorway. Exiting the car he slowly removed his clothes as she turned her back to him slapping her own ass. He slid slowly into her from behind.

the dialogue causes a new paragraph, but you've got the other exercise requirements covered.

:rose:
 
I fancied that she might sleep with me if I took her out for an expensive meal. But she had something else in mind. I fancied that she would come home with me. But she had something more in mind. I thought once she felt me inside her she would fall in love with me. Once I stopped fancying and started thinking she beat me at my own game.
 
I fancied that she might sleep with me if I took her out for an expensive meal. But she had something else in mind. I fancied that she would come home with me. But she had something more in mind. I thought once she felt me inside her she would fall in love with me. Once I stopped fancying and started thinking she beat me at my own game.

two sets of repetition, it doesn't quite follow the rules but it works. well done.

:rose:
 
Twice she repeated, "I am tired of this game." Then she fell silent. He would not look at her nor respond to her words. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes with out raising her head hoping he was looking at her, giving her hope he cared. The only sound filling the car was the rain on the roof and the silence between them. Twice she repeated "I am tired of this game." only this time whispering in resignation to her self as she opened the door without looking back and walked away.
 
Pain thudded thru her whole being. How could he have done this unthinkable thing? She couldn't believe it, yet it was in black and white, the email before her. Visions of him with another woman splintered thru her mind. She could see him doing all those wonderful things they had shared in bed for years, he did them with her? Pain thudded thru her whole being.
 
Mea Culpa, Centurion.
I should not have let the Section advance so far forward.
They were surrounded and only a few got back to safety.
I tried to stop their advance but the trumpeter was injured.
Please leave me my sword.
I want to die a soldier's death.
Mea Culpa, Centurion.
 
I'll behave myself better next time.
nothing on earth like knowing the rules and bending 'em to your advantage. :)

Twice she repeated, "I am tired of this game." Then she fell silent. He would not look at her nor respond to her words. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes with out raising her head hoping he was looking at her, giving her hope he cared. The only sound filling the car was the rain on the roof and the silence between them. Twice she repeated "I am tired of this game." only this time whispering in resignation to her self as she opened the door without looking back and walked away.
nicely done. my only comment is after the second 'game' the full stop should be removed.

Pain thudded thru her whole being. How could he have done this unthinkable thing? She couldn't believe it, yet it was in black and white, the email before her. Visions of him with another woman splintered thru her mind. She could see him doing all those wonderful things they had shared in bed for years, he did them with her? Pain thudded thru her whole being.
this is well done too. just a note... the word 'thru' three times is a little distracting as i'm used to seeing it 'through'.


Mea Culpa, Centurion.
I should not have let the Section advance so far forward.
They were surrounded and only a few got back to safety.
I tried to stop their advance but the trumpeter was injured.
Please leave me my sword.
I want to die a soldier's death.
Mea Culpa, Centurion.

one sentence too many but i like the repetition. is there a reason you gave each sentence a new line?

:rose:
 
one sentence too many but i like the repetition. is there a reason you gave each sentence a new line?

:rose:

Military reports tend (traditionally) to be delivered in short sentences. This time it just seemed logical.
Incidentally, is there a section on the Board for non-erotic (slightly humorous) stories ?
 
Military reports tend (traditionally) to be delivered in short sentences. This time it just seemed logical.
Incidentally, is there a section on the Board for non-erotic (slightly humorous) stories ?

scroll down this link and you'll see all the categories. to publish your story on Literotica go to your login (at the top right hand side of the linked page). click on 'submissions', click on 'submit', click 'submit story' and you can fill out the form and include your story. hit the 'preview' button at the bottom and then i think the next button to hit is 'submit'. it takes a few days for a story to be published on the site, a little longer during competitions.

shout if you need more help.

:rose:
 
repetition

Thud thud thud, the noise is loud in my ears. Do i open my eyes and look for it or keep them closed praying it will get quieter. I lie in my bed shaking as i hear the rattle of the door knob. With practised ease i slowly turn over and look at my husband, watching him breath as he sleeps. Thud thud thud, his heart beats loud as i lie here with my head against him. The storm outside is getting worse but he always sleeps through it, unlike me.
 
She ate my fries right off my plate, then licked the ketchup from her fingers. She helped herself to a sample of my vanilla milkshake, but it seemed the onions on my perfectly cooked burger were not to her liking and she wrinkled her nose at it. When she stabbed her fork into my pecan pie, I grabbed her by her wrist and informed her that she was going to have to pay for violating my personal space three times in one meal. After dinner, I stripped her bare and bound her hands behind her with silken cords. I made her kneel before me and remove my panties with her teeth, then commanded her to eat until I was satisfied. She ate my pussy as though she was starved for it.
 
She sat in her usual seat in the lecture hall, and noticed a scrap of paper torn from a notebook sitting on the desk. I'll have you, it said. She looked around, eyes wild, heart thundering crazily. He couldn't have found her, not here where she was supposed to be safe! I'll have you - three simple words written in black ink in a strong hand. The words stared coldly up at her from the page with a terrifying finality and she shivered in fear.
 
The crack of the bullet leaving the muzzle frightened everyone in the room. The crack of the gun again gave everyone pause. The crack as the bullet hit the glass of the chandelier made everyone duck. Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle sounded the glass as it hit the floor. Turning to face his adversary the man in black shouted, "Not in the house, not in the house, how many times to I have to tell you, not in the house."
 
My Ladies charm

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not to be outdone by the previous 'no repetition' thread, i've just dreamed up this exercise.

write one paragraph containing six sentences, two sentences of which must have the same first three words - it does not matter which sentences contain the repetition.

:rose:

Jimmy never bothered to examine the rusty old door at Swankies. Somebody told him it was safe. He fumbled in his pocket for the key, glancing back to make sure the cab had quickly sped down the dusty lane. Jimmy never bothered to check his pockets proper either. Where was that rotten key? Back in the cab where he left it.

Thanks for the excersise wild sweet tone.
 
Mother died today is the first sentence of the Stuart Gilbert 1946 English language translation of Albert Camus' seminal novel L’Étranger. This is the same translation given by Joseph Laredo in his 1982 version, but Matthew Ward, in his 1989 version rendered the first sentence as Maman died today, explaining his word choice in a fairly lengthy (given that the actual novel is so short) introduction. It may have been a preface. I was once plagiarized by someone using the name Meursault, which is the name of the protagonist of the Camus novel, though the subject of my writing that was stolen by this "Meursault" was about an entirely different author altogether. If I am rambling, it is because I am upset. Mother died today.

Love this.

Mixing long and short sentences is a powerful, underrated literary device.
 
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