Looking For Editor Help With Rejection

Looking For Editor's Help With Rejection Brother / Sister Story

Hi everybody,

My second story was just rejected, and I now I'm thinking I might need some help from an editor.

The reason given was the "underage sexual relationship" one.

It's a brother / sister story. He's 18 and a half, she's 20. There is mention of a younger sister who's 17, but she's never described in a sexual manner nor is she involved in any of the sexual activities.

I just resubmitted the story with a note explaining this, suggesting that maybe there had been a mistake. So I guess I'll probably have to wait a few more days again before I get a response. But now that I read the story again I'm thinking that maybe there was something to this rejection after all.

I think input from an editor who has experience with getting stories accepted could help here. Specifically, I'm looking for help with the following questions:

1. The story mentions (as a reference to the past) how the brother started fantasizing about her body while masturbating as they grew up. It's not described in any detail though, just mentioned as something he used to do and still sometimes does. Could this have been the reason it being rejected? Is that considered a sexual relationship? Even if it doesn't happen in the story's actual timeline?

2. If so, how do I deal with removing that part of the build up? His awkwardness, caused by his feelings for her, is an integral part of the story. He has always loved and looked up to his big sister, but started seeing her as somewhat of a sex goddess as they got older. They grew apart because of it over the years because he feels so awkward and ashamed when facing her, and now they will get (a lot) closer again in this story. If I have to take out mention of him feeling that way before he turned 18, the events of the story will seem very abrupt and unrealistic. I'm hoping an editor could help fix this without removing his 'crush' on her that he's been having for several years. Maybe by taking out some of the references to her body and masturbation while he was younger?

3. Is there something else in the story that would cause a red flag I might not have realized?

Of course any other advice is welcome as well (as I have no real experience in writing), but my main goal is to have it accepted.

If anybody is interested in having a look at the manuscript (and not offended by this type of story), please let me know.

Thanks!

Since you've resubmitted with a note explaining things, I would wait to see what happens. This sounds like a pretty common thing with characters around 18. Laurel vets the stories, but she's the only one and so can't read each entry thoroughly, so mistakes get made. Stories that should be approved aren't, and some that shouldn't be are. Each situation can be remedied.

Underage

I suspect that the masturbation while underage is the problem. They are really pretty squeaky clean on the 18 thing.

I think you can convey the feeling without the sexual references. "I fantasized like every boy does."

Thank you both for the quick responses. I just re-submitted an edited draft which toned down those descriptions of memories of when they were younger, and I will wait for Laurel's decision (I had no idea she did the submission process all by herself, that's quite an achievement with the traffic this site gets). In addition, I realized I had left a memory of him spying on her in the shower and jerking off later described as having happened "one year ago", so that might have been the major problem. I've changed that to "three months ago" now.

It also gave me the opportunity to fix some overlooked punctuation issues and remove a reference to her bra size, which I've read in other guides on this site is a big no no in stories like this.