It's so easy being a dude

Learin

Elusive
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
Posts
1,834
Hi all,

*waves frantically*

I did a thread a long time ago on how to create a male profile and not do stuff that marks me as a female. I got a lot of helpful advice and mucho thanks to those guys for taking out the time to help me out.

I did create an account with a very macho name. The kind that reminds you of gun-packed action thrillers and testosterone all over.

The first thing I noticed after a few dozens of posts:

No PMs. At all.

You can still see the dusty tumbleweeds in that inbox. It was soooooo different. I expected to get bombarded with tit pics from sleazy women and horny girls, but nope. Not a wink. I however did have a nice conversation with a woman who initiated the contact. We struck a nice friendship online. She still thinks I'm a guy. I don't know how to break it to her because some assholes usually have it the other way around (oh no, I'm a guy pretending to be a girl. I want to be a lesbian :eek:).

I posted happily in the Fetish forum without getting hit upon for once. I posted happily in the GB without raising a wink of suspicion. I happily annoyed people in the politics board without any disturbance whatsoever.

My point is, you guys have to it too easy. It's so....liberating to say whatever you want without having to be cautious about your gender and what you say. It feels good to not having to hold back for once, knowing people aren't going to reply just to make you feel special (and soften you up for the inevitable hook-up PM).


Anywho. Thanks for reading it, have a great day, blah blah blah and happy Halloween.

End of rant. :)
 
Hi all,

*waves frantically*

I did a thread a long time ago on how to create a male profile and not do stuff that marks me as a female. I got a lot of helpful advice and mucho thanks to those guys for taking out the time to help me out.

I did create an account with a very macho name. The kind that reminds you of gun-packed action thrillers and testosterone all over.

The first thing I noticed after a few dozens of posts:

No PMs. At all.

You can still see the dusty tumbleweeds in that inbox. It was soooooo different. I expected to get bombarded with tit pics from sleazy women and horny girls, but nope. Not a wink. I however did have a nice conversation with a woman who initiated the contact. We struck a nice friendship online. She still thinks I'm a guy. I don't know how to break it to her because some assholes usually have it the other way around (oh no, I'm a guy pretending to be a girl. I want to be a lesbian :eek:).

I posted happily in the Fetish forum without getting hit upon for once. I posted happily in the GB without raising a wink of suspicion. I happily annoyed people in the politics board without any disturbance whatsoever.

My point is, you guys have to it too easy. It's so....liberating to say whatever you want without having to be cautious about your gender and what you say. It feels good to not having to hold back for once, knowing people aren't going to reply just to make you feel special (and soften you up for the inevitable hook-up PM).


Anywho. Thanks for reading it, have a great day, blah blah blah and happy Halloween.

End of rant. :)

You should come clean to the woman you've befriended.
 
It's true we don't get spammed by tit pics and such, but don't forget that the guy:gal ratio here is very skewed with more horndogs than women. I think the scenario would've been very different it were the other way around.

Also, as a dude, you can't send private messages without the "fear" of being labeled as another guy who's wanting to get his shtick serviced. Or sending a message to a guy pretending as a woman (that's fucking worse, btw).

I guess you can "filter" people you trust over a period of time. Regular people can do that. I'm more like an occasional visitor.

So don't this as a one-sided problem. There are pros and cons to both sides.


Also:

I don't think the friendship you've had with the woman was the focus of your post, so not going to comment much on that. I think you should come clean if it's something serious. If not a serious deal, well, it ain't gonna hurt anybody. :-]
 
My IGGY file is loaded with folks, most of whom seem to be alts who come, show their ass, and go. You and me don't interact, and now I know why.
 
Poor JBJ not getting attention from someone means an alt is involved.

Awww you poor sonovabiatch.

:D
 
I don't know that this is breaking news to anyone. I do hope that the woman who thinks you're legit isn't hurt by your fun and games though.

You should come clean to the woman you've befriended.

It's not serious. More like people who love to talk about their shared interests together.

TBH, I'm very reluctant to come clean about it, but it would be a morally right choice.


It's true we don't get spammed by tit pics and such, but don't forget that the guy:gal ratio here is very skewed with more horndogs than women. I think the scenario would've been very different it were the other way around.

Also, as a dude, you can't send private messages without the "fear" of being labeled as another guy who's wanting to get his shtick serviced. Or sending a message to a guy pretending as a woman (that's fucking worse, btw).

I guess you can "filter" people you trust over a period of time. Regular people can do that. I'm more like an occasional visitor.

So don't this as a one-sided problem. There are pros and cons to both sides.


Also:

I don't think the friendship you've had with the woman was the focus of your post, so not going to comment much on that. I think you should come clean if it's something serious. If not a serious deal, well, it ain't gonna hurt anybody. :-]

I can't answer hypothetical questions, but I guess desperation is the mother of all depravity.

Speaking from my side, I can't send a private message to a male without him thinking I'm interested in that person. For example, I was a big fan of an author here. So when he requested for beta-readers, I sent him a message saying how much I liked his work and would love to do it for him. He took it as an invitation for god knows what.

Suffice to say, I stopped reading his stuff after that.

I'm just saying you guys are less of a target than we are. Not that you don't have any less problems than we might have.


Poor JBJ not getting attention from someone means an alt is involved.

Awww you poor sonovabiatch.

:D

Also:

I don't like people feeding trolls on my thread. The GB is across the hall, you can take your beef there and sort it out like adults. :)
 
I don't visit Lit as often as I used to these days, but as an established HT-er with an off-putting personality, I've found that I rarely get bothered via PM, and I'm fine with that. I have a couple of alts that I use for various reasons, and the vultures descended on my inbox before I'd even filled out my profile.

I'm not really here to meet people or fuck around, though, so I could see where men who are looking for that might have more difficulty, but I'd think that, in general, men would have an easier time of it.

Anyway, I don't have a male alt here, but I do have a male alt that I use on Facebook so that I can wander into certain topics of discussion (gun-related discussions really bring out the dregs of society, for example) without getting rape and death threats. But then instead of being called a whore and a cunt, I get called a faggot and a pedophile.
 
Anyway, I don't have a male alt here, but I do have a male alt that I use on Facebook so that I can wander into certain topics of discussion (gun-related discussions really bring out the dregs of society, for example) without getting rape and death threats. But then instead of being called a whore and a cunt, I get called a faggot and a pedophile.

I've never created a male alt here or anywhere else, but I've thought about it, for the same reasons you suggest. I'm sure men would treat me differently. Women, too, for that matter.

The only time I've felt like an imposter when "posing as a man" is when I'm writing a story where I have to speak in the person of a man and convincing the reader that the man is a genuine, authentic male character, seeing things in a way that a woman would not. I'm always afraid that I haven't gotten it right, and that people can tell. But so far, nobody has complained. It may be, as somebody pointed out on another thread, that women spend more time trying to figure out men than men spend in trying to figure out women.
 
I've never created a male alt here or anywhere else, but I've thought about it, for the same reasons you suggest. I'm sure men would treat me differently. Women, too, for that matter.

The only time I've felt like an imposter when "posing as a man" is when I'm writing a story where I have to speak in the person of a man and convincing the reader that the man is a genuine, authentic male character, seeing things in a way that a woman would not. I'm always afraid that I haven't gotten it right, and that people can tell. But so far, nobody has complained. It may be, as somebody pointed out on another thread, that women spend more time trying to figure out men than men spend in trying to figure out women.

Exactly. Figuring out women is pointless and what women think that they figure out about of men just basically isn't true. Let's say that a man spends some time and effort figuring out what makes a particular woman tick. That's completely useless information with the next woman and frankly it's useless information with that particular woman on any given day. I can't think of a time when a woman has shared with me her assessment of a man and I have deemed it even remotely accurate.

Take a look at what the original poster is complaining about and consider it from the perspective of a man. A man having the chore of wading through pages and pages of women showing an interest and simply having to discard the ones that he's not interested in would not be a problem at all.

Women from time to time to put themselves out there, approach a man and face the possibility of rejection but that isn't the norm. That's everyday for a man.
 
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Women are easy to impersonate.

Act clueless. Change your mind a lot. And have a mercurial temper.
 
I can't answer hypothetical questions, but I guess desperation is the mother of all depravity.

Speaking from my side, I can't send a private message to a male without him thinking I'm interested in that person. For example, I was a big fan of an author here. So when he requested for beta-readers, I sent him a message saying how much I liked his work and would love to do it for him. He took it as an invitation for god knows what.

Suffice to say, I stopped reading his stuff after that.

I'm just saying you guys are less of a target than we are. Not that you don't have any less problems than we might have.




Also:

I don't like people feeding trolls on my thread. The GB is across the hall, you can take your beef there and sort it out like adults. :)

I get it. It's a rant. You said it yourself. I just wanted to add that the problems swing both ways.





Also:

I'll take my bacon elsewhere.

You're no fun. :p
 
I don't visit Lit as often as I used to these days, but as an established HT-er with an off-putting personality, I've found that I rarely get bothered via PM, and I'm fine with that. I have a couple of alts that I use for various reasons, and the vultures descended on my inbox before I'd even filled out my profile.

I'm not really here to meet people or fuck around, though, so I could see where men who are looking for that might have more difficulty, but I'd think that, in general, men would have an easier time of it.

Anyway, I don't have a male alt here, but I do have a male alt that I use on Facebook so that I can wander into certain topics of discussion (gun-related discussions really bring out the dregs of society, for example) without getting rape and death threats. But then instead of being called a whore and a cunt, I get called a faggot and a pedophile.

I can filter notification and people on Facebook so I haven't felt the need to create an alt there. Discussions on Facebook is like trying to preach to children. The difference being that they're big and bitchy and assholes with no sense of humour. It has been a pointless experience for me so far.

The nature of insults always depended on whether I had a flower or my face as the profile picture. No points for guessing which one got "faget" and which one got "brainless slut". :rolleyes:

I traded that for adorable dogs and humour pages. =_=


I've never created a male alt here or anywhere else, but I've thought about it, for the same reasons you suggest. I'm sure men would treat me differently. Women, too, for that matter.

The only time I've felt like an imposter when "posing as a man" is when I'm writing a story where I have to speak in the person of a man and convincing the reader that the man is a genuine, authentic male character, seeing things in a way that a woman would not. I'm always afraid that I haven't gotten it right, and that people can tell. But so far, nobody has complained. It may be, as somebody pointed out on another thread, that women spend more time trying to figure out men than men spend in trying to figure out women.

In my experience, unless I used too many emojis in a post, no one would suspect me off being too feminine.

Technically, I don't think there's any difference. At least, that's what my experience was. One tiny glitch my editor pointed out was when I tried too hard to compensate and make my protagonist really macho. That sucked.

It's the experience in someone else's shoes that I was curious of, not figuring men.


Exactly. Figuring out women is pointless and what women think that they figure out about of men just basically isn't true. Let's say that a man spends some time and effort figuring out what makes a particular woman tick. That's completely useless information with the next woman and frankly it's useless information with that particular woman on any given day. I can't think of a time when a woman has shared with me her assessment of a man and I have deemed it even remotely accurate.

Take a look at what the original poster is complaining about and consider it from the perspective of a man. A man having the chore of wading through pages and pages of women showing an interest and simply having to discard the ones that he's not interested in would not be a problem at all.

Women from time to time to put themselves out there, approach a man and face the possibility of rejection but that isn't the norm. That's everyday for a man.

I was curious about the experience of a male poster in an open forum. And now I know what it's like. Experience over, case closed. Made a rant about the difference. That's all.

Like I said, I'm not trying to figure out what makes you guys tick. Not my intention.
 
um...as a longtime HTer, mostly absent for the past few years, i've seen variations of this sentiment expressed before.

but yeah. the truth is men do have it easier. like, fuckloads.

what's funny is that i'd quite forgotten that periodically i would get random PMs from dudes who thought i was a woman. i typically just pointed them to any of my posts.

that's why i always used to sign my name when posting.
 
What if the woman you are friends with is actually an alt a man created?

Whoa.
 
um...as a longtime HTer, mostly absent for the past few years, i've seen variations of this sentiment expressed before.

but yeah. the truth is men do have it easier. like, fuckloads.

what's funny is that i'd quite forgotten that periodically i would get random PMs from dudes who thought i was a woman. i typically just pointed them to any of my posts.

that's why i always used to sign my name when posting.

I thought the same until you signed your name after a post. I was a level 5 nOOb back then. :D


What if the woman you are friends with is actually an alt a man created?

Whoa.

Alt-ception. :p
 
Now I feel that If I reply in this thread - I'm softening you up for a hook-up PM.

But no, seriously, that has to do with two things.
1) Not only on this board, but across most of forum boards women are a minority. Mostly it's guys. Maybe we are just more prone to spending hundreds of hours of our lives sitting in front of PC and engaging into world-changing discussions, while women don't spend so much time on useless stuff like this. I don't know. Anyway, there are more guys than gals. That's why all guys are naturally more attentive whenever there's a confirmed female around =). It's in our nature to pursue and pay attention to girls ANYWAY, and when there's a shortage of them - well, you see my point.
2) Girls and guys approach dating differently. 99% of men know that it's up to them to make a first move. If we sit and do nothing - we will be single and virgins for the entire life. Women have it a bit simpler, because men will come up to YOU. You don't need to gather your courage and approach a guy whom you like (and believe me, it can be rather scary) to get a date. If you look after yourself at least somewhat, you WILL get a date. Maybe it would not be that one particular guy you are dreaming about, but there will be a lot of guys in your life. Even if not daily, you will get approached. That's why women don't feel too proactive about sending guys their tit pics. While guys always feel the need to send pick-up PM's =).

I hope I didn't mess up too badly in explaining it.

p.s. There. Consider yourself softened up =D
 
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Speaking from my side, I can't send a private message to a male without him thinking I'm interested in that person.

I've had a PM conversations with several women here and no one has complained that I've tried to horndog them. At least they haven't complained to ME about it. Did I miss the memo?


As for it being a man's world, of course it is. You ever wonder why they make doors so heavy that it's difficult for women to open them? It's so a MAN can do it for you. Without men, you'd be left struggling to open doors yourself. And, where's the fun in that?
 
I've had a PM conversations with several women here and no one has complained that I've tried to horndog them. At least they haven't complained to ME about it. Did I miss the memo?


As for it being a man's world, of course it is. You ever wonder why they make doors so heavy that it's difficult for women to open them? It's so a MAN can do it for you. Without men, you'd be left struggling to open doors yourself. And, where's the fun in that?
Apologies, dear sir.

I did not knoweth that thou art the embodiment of all mankind and their PM sending habits. I also express my regrets from the deepest part of my bosom for trying to express the lack of freedom that most women face every single day of their pitiful lives. From this fair day onwards, I shall always be the damsel in distress of thy men's desire.

Please accept this fine clothing as a token of my apology:

6GvMdyay_7-wAKR8xAFoqx4fuQK_xk8KUp2k7SQ-7Hj5BMINWWajgqLwfQq99Xm3RW0RMiA9E3s4rUjmtHoCL4uJ5bJkeyv8LLYfP8Xq4s_YlxwEwSV_rkH3pR_YxpagFDOFbhf1V4OsiMATwdmpZs9rmfZzyKBzbIHddnoBI1YKYzTb8lbET6w5D5IAJqva_O97sGEo12wi11Dp045amJ4I1s8q4iWI1xiQ2m2em_z51vMCI8gDQuEGWI6U_agzDuC4GNbe68XgPbPV9a9TCQC92vrKW5ytZSPm=w384-h384-nc
 
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Apologies, dear sir.

I did not knoweth that thou art the embodiment of all mankind and their PM sending habits. I also express my regrets from the deepest part of my bosom for trying to express the lack of freedom that most women face every single day of their pitiful lives. From this fair day onwards, I shall always be the damsel in distress of thy men's desire.

Please accept this fine clothing as a token of my apology:

6GvMdyay_7-wAKR8xAFoqx4fuQK_xk8KUp2k7SQ-7Hj5BMINWWajgqLwfQq99Xm3RW0RMiA9E3s4rUjmtHoCL4uJ5bJkeyv8LLYfP8Xq4s_YlxwEwSV_rkH3pR_YxpagFDOFbhf1V4OsiMATwdmpZs9rmfZzyKBzbIHddnoBI1YKYzTb8lbET6w5D5IAJqva_O97sGEo12wi11Dp045amJ4I1s8q4iWI1xiQ2m2em_z51vMCI8gDQuEGWI6U_agzDuC4GNbe68XgPbPV9a9TCQC92vrKW5ytZSPm=w384-h384-nc

Oh. My apologies. I failed to understand the purpose of your words. Apparently your post wasn't actually attempting to understand the differences between men and women. Nor was it a true attempt to find someone to have an intelligent conversation with. Privately or otherwise.

Instead it was a rant against the unfairness of it all that you weren't born a man. I weep for the world at the mistake over your improper gender assignment. It's hard to understand how the universe could do that to you; you being such a loving and understanding soul and all.

However, I want you to know that regardless of that horrible tragedy, I would still open the door for you, say good morning when appropriate, and even smile sometimes. I'd do this even knowing that you reject the kindness and the spirit in which it was offered. I mean, what kind of man would I be if I just left you with the task of doing it all yourself? Why you'd have some sort of public meltdown over how unfair it all is. Again. I can't do that to you. Sorry, I just can't.

BTW, I regifted your shirt to someone who will appreciate the warmth of the sentiment behind it. The puppies love it too.
 
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Some things are harder for girls, but some are much easier.

Don't say it's all that bad. Attention is not bad.

From just the things I see - I'd swap to being a girl in a blink of an eye. I know there's A LOT of other stuff that I don't deal with now, but I still think women have it slightly easier in life, when the starting resources are equal.

I think you over-reacted here. Chill, life is great no matter what sex you are! it's just great in different ways.:cattail:
 
:rolleyes: Im sure you would just love the verbal abuse and threats that come with many messages. I mean, clearly women have it sooooo easy. Or the assumption that you must be sexually interested simply because you replied. Attention can be VERY bad in some cases. Especially unwanted attention.
 
:rolleyes: Im sure you would just love the verbal abuse and threats that come with many messages. I mean, clearly women have it sooooo easy. Or the assumption that you must be sexually interested simply because you replied. Attention can be VERY bad in some cases. Especially unwanted attention.
I didn't say it wasn't bad. I just said it isn't that bad in my opinion. Men have their own hardships - maybe not on the forums, but in the real life. Women do too. I guess it's really hard to actually evaluate who gets it worse. I'm just saying that forum attention is relatively harmless and you can turn your PM off or just ignore the dudes.
If you compare a lot of (unwanted) attention with lack of it when it's needed, I guess the first is better. You can shut down the excess of it pretty easily, but you can't make something you lack magically appear out of thin air.
I don't know about being sexually interested because you replied, that seems like a very stupid assumption to me. I mean, if somebody does think that - he's stupid. Maybe you mistake a little bit of over-eagerness in the dialogue with salacious intentions? Internet, and forum especially, is a female-starved environment, that's why guys tend to go off their rails when you pay even a little bit attention to them. :cattail: It just naturally has much more weight.
Personally, I don't PM very often and when I do it's because there's something private to discuss. And no, not that kind of private :cattail:
 
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I'm not sure it's quite so much the male /female split that differentiates the types of messages but possibly the personality you display, the way you speak and the way you interact.

I havent had any of the negative experiences I consistently see women post about (the disrespect, unwanted images etc) and I have been posting for a while, albeit mainly in the playground but I do venture out.

It's a sex site, unwanted messages would get ignored, politeness and good humour tends to make people treat you similarly. Nobody can force you into,a text play or communication you don't want to have

I'm not sure I completely understand the woman as victim vibe that comes across (not specifically here but in some threads). I don't get why people don't just turn their PC off
 
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