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How to compliment a woman

KrazyWhiteBoy

KrazyWhiteBoy

Really Experienced
Joined
Jul 20, 2010
Posts
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How to compliment a woman or young lady without coming across like a creepy, perverted predator? I'm not looking for pickup lines. I'm not trying to pick anyone up. Is it creepy if some random guy at the grocery store tells you you're beautiful as he passes you in the aisle? I've done it a few times and I wonder if the woman feels complimented or is creeped out. The most recent time it was a store employee. She was stocking shelves as I came down the aisle and I thought, "wow, what a cute girl". I stopped and was looking at the shelf trying to decide which thing was the best price, when she knelt down next to me to stock the shelf I was looking at. She was very pretty. I stared at her trying to think of something to say without sounding like a dirty old pervert. Finally, when she stood up, I said "you are a beautiful girl and I hope you hear that every day". She gave me a shy smile, turned and went back to her stack of boxes. I turned the opposite direction and made myself not look at her again because I thought that would make it creepy. Another time as I passed a woman I said "wow you're beautiful" and just kept walking without looking back. Creepy?
 
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Honestly, this depends a lot on how creepy you are anyway.

Good rule of thumb, though: Keep it to yourself on the street.
 
;)

I rounded a corner at the grocery store once and walking toward me, about ten foot away was this beautiful goddess, Tall, curvy and brunette, dressed in some serious money... part of it was the gown slit up the side and fuck me heels she was wearing. Jewelry that looked that sparkly and elegant cost some big bucks.

Clearly some rich woman or some rich mans wife...for some unknown reason had came in to grab something.

So what did country Cow Paddy do?:rolleyes:

Eye bulging, quietly Exclaims "Holy SHIT!" Then turns beet red.:eek:

She did smile and wink as she walked by me...
 
sometimes

Sometimes a grin is all it takes. A lovely thing with great curves and jiggles in all the right places came waling toward me across a parking lot. My grin had to be as wide as the Missouri River and she just grinned back.
 
It is a little creepy for a total stranger to say that and keep walking.

I'd rather someone say "hello" and give a genuine smile.
 
Ladies appreciate a touch more effort than a mere passing comment. Carve her name in twenty foot high letters across the nearest mountain using nothing but a toothpick; write an epic poem in sand and film the tide washing it away as her beauty has washed your soul; become an Olympic-class athlete and dedicate your gold medal to her on global television.

It's the little things. You're welcome.
 
For the most part, I will defer to the ladies on this thread and I do agree that there is no blanket answer.

One thing I will say is that if you're giving any sort of physical compliment or being at all flirty, make some eye contact (but of course not so long that you're staring). Address her like a person, not a collection of parts (even though those parts may be quite pleasing to the eye). In most cases, a random woman you don't know doesn't want to be called "beautiful" while you're staring at her boobs. That pretty much just translates "you're beautiful" into "I'm staring at your boobs." If you're going to say it to her face you should, you know, say it to her face.
 
KrazyWhiteBoy said:
How to complement a woman or young lady without coming across like a creepy, perverted predator? I'm not looking for pickup lines. I'm not trying to pick anyone up. Is it creepy if some random guy at the grocery store tells you you're beautiful as he passes you in the aisle? I've done it a few times and I wonder if the woman feels complemented or is creeped out. The most recent time it was a store employee. She was stocking shelves as I came down the aisle and I thought, "wow, what a cute girl". I stopped and was looking at the shelf trying to decide which thing was the best price, when she knelt down next to me to stock the shelf I was looking at. She was very pretty. I stared at her trying to think of something to say without sounding like a dirty old pervert. Finally, when she stood up, I said "you are a beautiful girl and I hope you hear that every day". She gave me a shy smile, turned and went back to her stack of boxes. I turned the opposite direction and made myself not look at her again because I thought that would make it creepy. Another time as I passed a woman I said "wow you're beautiful" and just kept walking without looking back. Creepy?
Click to expand...

It can be. Probably depends on the situation, the culture, and that particular woman's experience, but in general I think it's better to avoid telling women "you're beautiful" if you don't know them (and sometimes even if you do).

Girls and women get told a lot that it's important to be beautiful. You can be a rocket scientist or a world leader and people will still be talking about whether you've put on five pounds or had botox. Even when it's intended as a honest compliment, it comes across as telling women "pretty is what matters" - and based largely on genetic stuff that's completely out of their control.

Also, some guys use "compliments" as a way to start a creepy pick-up conversation: "I paid you a compliment, now you have to stop and talk to me or you're a bitch" sort of thing. The fact that you're asking says you're probably not one of those guys, but unfortunately she has no way of knowing, so if she's had bad experiences before then she may feel defensive. It can be worse at work, if she's required to be polite to customers even when she's not comfortable about the interaction.

My rule of thumb on complimenting people I don't know well (any gender but especially women): compliment them on something they've done or are doing. So instead of "you're beautiful", I'd go for "nice job" or "did you make that? It's great", that sort of thing.
 
Maybe I am in the minority of women, but I appreciate all compliments and I usually have a sense of whether or not they are sincere or pick-up lines or insulting sexual drivel. Frankly, I don't find even pick-up lines creepy. I make an effort every day to look good by working out, dressing well, fixing my hair, etc. Of course I don't mind if somebody notices all that. I also like to compliment people and I readily do so. It doesn't matter if they are old, young, male, female and it can be on clothes, looks, something they did (like sing a song, or give a speech, etc.)

So I don't think you are creepy at all KrazyWhiteBoy. I like your thinking and saying.

I think I will wander over that Lit "Compliment" thread now and express myself.
 
Wide_eyed_Indulgence said:
Maybe I am in the minority of women, but I appreciate all compliments and I usually have a sense of whether or not they are sincere or pick-up lines or insulting sexual drivel. Frankly, I don't find even pick-up lines creepy. I make an effort every day to look good by working out, dressing well, fixing my hair, etc. Of course I don't mind if somebody notices all that. I also like to compliment people and I readily do so. It doesn't matter if they are old, young, male, female and it can be on clothes, looks, something they did (like sing a song, or give a speech, etc.)

So I don't think you are creepy at all KrazyWhiteBoy. I like your thinking and saying.

I think I will wander over that Lit "Compliment" thread now and express myself.
Click to expand...

I'll bet you field complements all the time. I know I like em. Confident woman can handle these with grace. Sort of like when Barry Sanders scored a TD back in the day. He handed the ball back to the official and trotted tot he bench.
 
JtohisPB said:
That's the thing, right? Unattractive does not equal creepy to me, but I suspect for many it does. Creepy to me is more of a feeling I get based on some nuanced behavior or body language or tone. It's rare that I find a man (or woman) creepy, but when I do it's instinctual and hard to quantify.
Click to expand...

'That in the slender's but a word which in the stout is downright impertinent'.​

Dorothy Sayers, Gaudy Night, discussing perhaps my favourite compliment ever, to a Dean of a Women's College: 'Vera incessit patuit Dean!' Spontaneous Latin punning is a dying art, is it not?
 
KrazyWhiteBoy said:
Is it creepy if some random guy at the grocery store tells you you're beautiful as he passes you in the aisle?
Click to expand...

For me ... It would come across a little creepy. Although, maybe creepy isn't quite the right word.. It would make me a touch uncomfortable. A smile, or a "hello" would be more welcome.
 
I had to think about this one, because at first I thought I'd lean towards keeping quiet unless she seems receptive to dialogue. But I was basing this on experiences I have had in bars or clubs where men toss out compliments to everything that moves and has distinguishable tits.

But then I thought of all the times I have met a client or friend of a friend, neighbour, etc who paid me a kind compliment like "what a pretty girl you are" (almost 35 and I still get called a GIRL. :rolleyes:) and I never feel creeped out by that, man or woman. One should just take it as it's intended - a compliment, not a come on. I simply smile, thank them and move onto other topics.

So, OP, if it's delivered with a genuine good naturedness and no ulterior motive, I'd say go for it. You should get a positive, maybe slightly self conscious and very sincere reaction. After all, it doesn't sound as though you are doing this with women who are being overtly sexual or "trying too hard".
 
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I defused an awkward situation with a younger friend of mine some years ago when I returned home unexpectedly. I was hurrying to by bedroom and when I started into the hallway which faces the bathroom.

"B" steeped out of the shower at the some time. Eighteen, Redheaded and Built to drool over :) (Not that I would ever have admitted that to her, She already had way to high of an opinion of herself as It was!)

We were both shocked, she froze with one hand reaching to the towel rack, I took a slow step forward trying to think of something to say as I turned left to go into my bedroom.

All I could come up with was " Not too shoddy "B"...Not too shoddy at all!"

That got me a "Thanks a lot, You pervert! What are doing home so soon anyway?"
 
KrazyWhiteBoy said:
Is it creepy if some random guy at the grocery store tells you you're beautiful as he passes you in the aisle?
Click to expand...

"Check check Mr Creepy hanging around frozen food aisle! Check check"

Mr SillyNonSpecificColourBoy, try a pleasant smile (not leering).

That rendition, in the above offered link, brought tears to my eyes - hmm worthy of a listing in Lettuce Turnip The Beet!? I think not, but if I take the thread title Songs/pieces of music that bring tears to your eyes/take your breath away, etc. at face value, well it certainly fits there. :)
 
Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol Connelly: ...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin Udall: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.
Click to expand...

My Dad was an oaf with complements; my Mom- an ungracious recipient.

In hindsight, it made me reticent about compliments. On the rare occaision I gave them they were sincere, heart-felt, well timed, and appreciated.

I skipped a lot of opportunities.

I don't anymore.

If something about someone strikes me, I tell them.

Delivering it offhand as you pass someone is odd, possibly creepy.

Pause, smile. Gather your thought and express it.
 
I don't really like to be complimented on accidents of birth, I didn't choose my gene pool. I prefer compliments on something that is unique to me, something I have done or accomplished, but in general, if you are a guy unless I already know you I am going to wonder why you are complimenting me because based on decades of previous experience you want something.
 
KrazyWhiteBoy said:
How does one know if they are creepy or not?
Click to expand...


Ah, the million dollar question.

I'll say this: Every single woman I know complains about getting hit on in public by sleazy guys. Which guys are the sleazy guys? I don't know; I'm not there.

But NO woman I know EVER complains about going out in public and never getting hit on. Never once have I heard any woman say, "I wish more strange men would comment on my appearance." Not saying there's no woman out there with that attitude. Just saying that I couldn't introduce you to any of them. Whereas I know at least a hundred women who wish more guys would keep it to themselves. Food for thought.
 
JtohisPB said:
I guess it depends on your intent. Are you trying to compliment her just to give her some sort of boost? Are you hoping to get lucky? Is this about her or about you?

The tricky thing here is that women don't all react the same way. An appreciative glance or a compliment to me may result in a blush and smile, while another women finds it creepy. It's simply best to get to know us.

I just saw this on my FB feed and it's a funny look at catcalling, which I know is different than what the OP is asking about. At least I think it is.

http://happyplace.someecards.com/me...-saying-when-they-hit-on-women-on-the-street/
Click to expand...

That link is hilarious!!!! And soooooo true for me twenty+ years ago!!!

My intent is to compliment a woman, not try to pick her up. I've been surrounded by female relatives my whole life. My Mom raised my sister and I, and now I am the only male in a house with three females (wife and two daughters). I've been telling my wife how beautiful she is for more than twenty years, yet she is still surprised when I tell her she is getting checked out by some other guy. My intent in complimenting a woman is to reaffirm what I hope the men in their lives are telling them.
 
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