YourCaptor
Cute Girl Connoisseur
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2007
- Posts
- 4,550
I am a female over 40
I have had rape fantasies as long as I can remember,
but not what I would consider normal rape fantasies (if there's such a thing lol)
I don't fantasize about being raped. I'm not even in my own fantasies (as myself)
I fantasize about 2 or more characters engaging in nonconsentual sex and switch back and forth between identifiying with the "attacker" and the "victim"
curiously it's more often the "attacker" for some reason.
I fantasize about male on female (most often) multiple males on female, female on male (rarely), male on male (often) but never female on female. Sometimes bondage and bsdm are involved.
But never do I fantasize that I myself am grabbed in an alley or dragged into a car and raped.
I'm not sure why nonconsentual sex turns me on (as well as bondage bdsm) but it may have something to do with when I was a child around 8 I went to my friends house and saw that she and her brother had tied up another boy and were giving him "pink belly". He was struggling and yelling and instead of helping him like I thought I should I ran away home hid under my covers and masterbated. I didn't understand at the time I just knew i suddenly had to do that thing that made me feel good.
I'm ashamed to admit that it's gotten so bad that during sex or masterbation the only way I can climax is through a nonconsentual fantasy.
please someone tell me I'm not the only one in the world like this lol
Do you live near me? Southern California