Get a guy at a bar

bubblybit

Virgin
Joined
Feb 21, 2016
Posts
7
A few times in the past couple of months I have gone to bars attempting to pick up a guy, but I haven’t had a ton of success. I’m not about to be a porn star but I’m hardly ugly; I think the problem is more that I don’t really know how to approach guys (or, ideally, get guys to approach me).

What is the best way get a guy’s attention in this scenario? Show a ton of cleavage and seductively chew a cherry? Am I supposed to pick out the “target” and just hope he doesn’t blow me off? Just make eye contact and smile until someone comes over to me? Or are there more subtle things that I can do to get noticed or turn the odds more in my favor?

I will freely admit that I am an introvert and a little bit shy, so I could use some advice in this regard.
 
Wingman approach have a friend go with sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn't just remember take two different cars.
 
What is your objective, a friendship that may lead to a relationship or a one night stand?

How would you like to be approached if the end goal was a bar pickup? What would work for you? Just offer that in return.

Unless you have some deep dark personality disorder, chances are most of who you are likely to meet will have more in common with you than not, it terms of values and desires.
 
What is your objective, a friendship that may lead to a relationship or a one night stand?.

More the latter, although sometimes I just want to make out.

This is where the shyness comes into play though. I don’t want to offend anyone or hit on someone who isn’t interested or available. Is here a way to tell who is interested?
 
More the latter, although sometimes I just want to make out.

This is where the shyness comes into play though. I don’t want to offend anyone or hit on someone who isn’t interested or available. Is here a way to tell who is interested?

Were guys, we are almost always obvious when we are interested in a gal. Best way to meet someone Dance.
 
Dancing is always a good idea, just go on out there and move to the music, you will have guys moving in and dancing with in no time.

Now if you are too shy to dance, sit at the bar with empty stools if possible and smile. Not at anyone, just smile and look around. Men will approach because you are looking around and smiling. Waiting on a date means no smiling until he shows, wanting a date or sex you smile at everyone. If you can manage to be a little forward, stare at a hunk. If he is looking back he will know you want him and come on over.

There is one thing I better mention, if all you want is a guy to ride you for the night, go to any bar or club. Just keep in mind the worse the place looks, the less likely you will find a man you want to talk to let alone anything else. Go to a nice bar or club and you will find you are being approached by guys who want a one night stand or dates, likely both.

Men are very basic, smile at one and so long as you look like a chick he will want to ride you. Meet at a bar and going to his place or yours only means he will want more sex, dating is best brought up before the sex, and after if you are not both too drunk.
 
Easy, wear a flirty dress, look friendly, look up, smile a lot. Guys will hit on you.
 
Easy, wear a flirty dress, look friendly, look up, smile a lot. Guys will hit on you.

This.
Also:
Ask your friends if you have resting bitch face. Seriously, I think most people who have it don't even know it. If you do, you'll have to consciously work to counteract it. Smile often, be nice to the bartender/server, make eye contact, just be generally approachable.
 
This.
Also:
Ask your friends if you have resting bitch face. Seriously, I think most people who have it don't even know it. If you do, you'll have to consciously work to counteract it. Smile often, be nice to the bartender/server, make eye contact, just be generally approachable.

Sadly, it's true. Think of the word 'attractive' - its core is the concept of attracting somebody or something. Walk down the sidewalk these days and most (or at least a sizeable slice) of the women, especially the young ones, look like somebody just shot their dog. It doesn't matter how nice a personality is, nobody but the most drunk or desperate is going to approach a woman with a sour look on her face.

And the funny thing is that girls' boobs (and guys' sixpacks) eventually sag, wrinkles form and hair greys, but a good smile will last forever.

Bubblybit - I agree with most of the advice above.

Yours is not an uncommon problem, especially in these days of shifting social norms. Just keep in mind that the men you are seeing are also, to one degree or another, wondering precisely the same thing about you, ie. 'I wonder what I can say to get talking to her?' And that first initial conversation is the hardest.

So, bottom line - dress nicely (but not tarty unless you want to attract a certain type of man). Makeup, yes, but go easy. Watch your body language and expression.

Don't be afraid to approach a man (men have had to dread being shot down by women since about forever). Find something you can talk about before you approach him. If he's watching sports, ask him a question about the game. Most guys will be flattered by being asked. Ice - broken. If he's reading a book, ask him about the author. Or take something with you to give men an opener - a musical instrument in its case, a stack of photos to sort, etc.

Penultimate point - taking one girlfriend is not a bad idea, but don't go in a pack. Guys have learned that women often run together as a defence strategy, to keep all of them from getting hit on.


Last point. In desperation, you can always go for the Hail Mary Pass. Walk up to him and say, "You're really cute. What are you doing for the next eight hours?"

Good luck. :rose:
 
Last edited:
A few times in the past couple of months I have gone to bars attempting to pick up a guy, but I haven’t had a ton of success. I’m not about to be a porn star but I’m hardly ugly; I think the problem is more that I don’t really know how to approach guys (or, ideally, get guys to approach me).

What is the best way get a guy’s attention in this scenario? Show a ton of cleavage and seductively chew a cherry? Am I supposed to pick out the “target” and just hope he doesn’t blow me off? Just make eye contact and smile until someone comes over to me? Or are there more subtle things that I can do to get noticed or turn the odds more in my favor?

I will freely admit that I am an introvert and a little bit shy, so I could use some advice in this regard.

If my small contribution might help you, i would tell you this.

Don t try to be too sophisticated! When i go to a bar, it s to enjoy the moment and usually alcohol helps for that (not to the point to be drunk though).
In such conditions i am not fully aware of my direct environment. So don t expect me to catch a girl smile or what ever.

However a direct approach would always be a pleasent thing. So catch a word or something and use it as reason to join the talk. I beleive the rest will come naturally.

But since common wisdom wants men to approache women, be ready for various and unpredicted reactions.

Good luck in your quest.
 
You should have a few drinks and don't act nervous, do not look or act like a snob, wear something not too conservative but not slutty.
The key is if you are getting looks from guys, if you like or would like to be with them, it is all about eye contact. When you see them looking at you and they are one you would make out with, make eye contact and keep eye contact for 3 to 5 seconds and then smile.
They should get the idea.
 
find a nice hotel with a bar. middle of the week, you can find self sufficient men alone on the road traveling for work. this means low risk for the guy wanting anything more AND he most likely will be staying at the hotel so you have a ready made safe space if you want to take things to the next level.

guys who travel for work will frequently be in hotel bars by themselves, and when we get bored, we can also be easily distracted by a woman. don't be afraid to make the first move, even if it's just asking if the seat next to him is taken. just that in itself is a sign of interest unless the guy is a real square. if there are plenty of seats and you ask about the seat next to him, that's an easy conversation starter for him. buy him a drink, if he's worth your time, he'll buy you one back.

once you get that conversation started, about 8-10 minutes in, be straight up with him and tell him exactly what you want. guys need to be hit over the head with it. if you want to go somewhere and just make out, tell him that. "here's the deal, i'm just looking for a guy to kiss passionately for 45 minutes to an hour, and you are a fine candidate for me to partake in such activities." if that doesn't work, the guy's an idiot.


edit - and yeah, dress is important. you don't wanna look like a hooker, but you don't want to be sloppy. dress confident and show a little, just barely enough to get guys' eyes to wander. accentuate your positives - if your legs are dynamite, show just a little extra, if you've got a great rack, flaunt it, a top that runs just a tad low, enough to show just a tad of a sexy bra. hair up or down, whatever makes you feel the most confident. if you're confident, this is shooting fish in a barrel.
 
Last edited:
This.
Also:
Ask your friends if you have resting bitch face. Seriously, I think most people who have it don't even know it. If you do, you'll have to consciously work to counteract it. Smile often, be nice to the bartender/server, make eye contact, just be generally approachable.

OMG! Yes!

I haven't been to a bar in years but when I used to go, I often went with two female friends who always had RBF.

I couldn't pull off RBF if I tried. If I did try, I'd start laughing. I tend to be laughing or smiling almost all the time.

My friends would get mad at me and ask me why all the guys were flocking to me! I guess technically they were better looking in that they had carefully fixed and sprayed light blonde hair, blue eyes, were both thin and wore fancier clothes than me.

I did wear makeup in those days but very little. My style of dress is very comfy to something akin to what Steve Nicks would wear and my hair? It's however it comes out that day and I hate hair spray. But...

I always try to be nice to people and friendly. My friends (they are no longer my friends) were very picky who they would speak to. I actually wonder why they bothered to speak to me to begin with as clearly I wasn't in their league but... If guy approached that they deemed unsuitable, they would get an even uglier look on their face and flat out turn away from him. I would at least smile, wave or say "hi".
 
Were guys, we are almost always obvious when we are interested in a gal. Best way to meet someone Dance.

Yes, yes! Every BF I have had was gotten this way.

I approach who I want and tell them they're going to dance with me. I don't ask. I tell them. If they balk and say that they don't know how, I just take their hand and tell them I will teach them. It does help that I used to teach dance.

If the guy truly is a clod hopper, I just press myself close to him and sway back and forth. This works even if it's a fast song. But chances are if he is a clod hopper on the dance floor, he won't be very good in bed. That's generally what I've found anyway.

There doesn't even have to be a dance floor. Just music. I was threatened with being kicked out of a Pizza Hut (Eek! I know) for giving a private waltz lesson to a guy because they said they didn't have a dance permit. Is there even such a thing? Silly because there was only our party of 4 in there.

I've been known to dance with guys at the grocery store. We have one here that plays disco music.

That technique never fails.

Now I suppose if the woman isn't into dancing or isn't good at it, the next best technique would be to ask a question. I would avoid such things as religion, politics or sports, although if one is really into sports, that might work. Good choices might be some movie that is currently showing, a new restaurant or store. Tell the guy that you are interested in it and ask him if he has seen or been there or whatever...
 
And... Bottom line, self love. Work on that. You'll radiate it. You won't have to look for them. They'll find you!
 
I find it easier and quicker meeting guys in bars or clubs where there is dancing ( I love to dance :D) but it tends to get guys closer and talking with me.

I have also found going with a girlfriend seem to work also as has been mentioned. A single woman by herself at a bar looks like she is waiting for someone, a "broken date or heart situation or at worst a hooker to many.

Depending on your comfort level with sexy or semi sexy clothing you need to consider the bar or club you are going to. I'm not going to dress with a lot of cleavage out front and short dress or skirt if going to a neighborhood bar. A club? Absolutely I will exhibit my wares so to speak and not be flamboyant about it but not nervous or uncomfortable with men checking me out.

Smiles work and with a open friendly attitude towards all is a big guy magnet. Positive friendly people always attract other to themselves no matter what the situation or location. Heck I've had guys hit on me in the grocery store, in malls, once at a gas station putting gas in my car. Oh, and when I say open and friendly, I don't mean openly sexy and inviting sex or sex chat in the wrong places, but openly friendly with people is all. Look people in the eye and smile! :D
 
I find it easier and quicker meeting guys in bars or clubs where there is dancing ( I love to dance :D) but it tends to get guys closer and talking with me.

I have also found going with a girlfriend seem to work also as has been mentioned. A single woman by herself at a bar looks like she is waiting for someone, a "broken date or heart situation or at worst a hooker to many.

Depending on your comfort level with sexy or semi sexy clothing you need to consider the bar or club you are going to. I'm not going to dress with a lot of cleavage out front and short dress or skirt if going to a neighborhood bar. A club? Absolutely I will exhibit my wares so to speak and not be flamboyant about it but not nervous or uncomfortable with men checking me out.

Smiles work and with a open friendly attitude towards all is a big guy magnet. Positive friendly people always attract other to themselves no matter what the situation or location. Heck I've had guys hit on me in the grocery store, in malls, once at a gas station putting gas in my car. Oh, and when I say open and friendly, I don't mean openly sexy and inviting sex or sex chat in the wrong places, but openly friendly with people is all. Look people in the eye and smile! :D

all of this is excellent advice
 
A few times in the past couple of months I have gone to bars attempting to pick up a guy, but I haven’t had a ton of success. I’m not about to be a porn star but I’m hardly ugly; I think the problem is more that I don’t really know how to approach guys (or, ideally, get guys to approach me).

What is the best way get a guy’s attention in this scenario? Show a ton of cleavage and seductively chew a cherry? Am I supposed to pick out the “target” and just hope he doesn’t blow me off? Just make eye contact and smile until someone comes over to me? Or are there more subtle things that I can do to get noticed or turn the odds more in my favor?

I will freely admit that I am an introvert and a little bit shy, so I could use some advice in this regard.

I think the best way to meet today is to use a dating app it a hook up app. If your looking to just have sex a hook up app will get you lots of studs who are just looking to have sex. If your looking for something more substantial then use a dating app put yourself out there and they will start looking up.

Picking up guess at a bar is a really great way to get an STD or an alcoholic crazy guy who was a jock and now only had Glory Days.
 
Pick one out, make eye contact, look down while giving half smile, as if you both just shared a private joke. His wheels start spinning, he is curious what you were thinking. Works almost every time. If not, just tell everyone its your birthday. At least you will drink free all night. :)
 
Pick one out, make eye contact, look down while giving half smile, as if you both just shared a private joke. His wheels start spinning, he is curious what you were thinking. Works almost every time. If not, just tell everyone its your birthday. At least you will drink free all night. :)

This sort of body language is powerful. Catching his eye (or letting him catch you noticing him) is an important first step. Guys, especially nice guys, can be a bit shy, too! It takes us a moment to build up the courage to approach a woman, even if she's sending us all the right signals.

That glance and smile goes a long way towards letting him know, "I won't bite." You don't need to stare. The tiny smile and the awkward little glance away is cute and effective. Especially if you happen to glance back to see if he's still looking.

Try to keep an open seat next to you. If he circles close, he's interested, but he's unsure what to say. If you can manage to smile and say nothing more than, "Hi," it's a huge relief to him. What do you say next? "How are you?" works just fine. So does, "Nice night." Or nearly any general, moronic question that pops to mind like, "Is it a full moon tonight?" Or, "Sure is dark tonight, isn't it?" Or, "Is that what you always drink?" Just whatever, anything.

Looking approachable is important and it doesn't require dressing up or down, slutty or conservative. And it might take more than one glance to convince him that you're really interested. That first glance and smile says little more than, "Hi there fellow human." It's the second or third one says, "Hi there, fellow human, I seem to like you."
 
Picking up guys at a bar is a really great way to get an STD or an alcoholic crazy guy who was a jock and now only had Glory Days.

I tend to agree. If your going to a bar, you're definitely going to find some random dude I'm sure will bang you, but if you're already shy and nervous wouldn't you rather find a more long term partner, then you can have sex regularly without having to go scout someone out all the time. Plus the lack of STDs etc. Goes way down.
 
If you're in Texas, let me know which bar, I'll be right there looking for you. ;)
 
Back
Top