The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

Dianthus said:

And you get the kewpie doll you've been saving up for.


I put in a Kennedy silver dollar.

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Saxon_Hart said:

But all you can see on it is the back of Marilyn Monroe's head.


I put in a buffalo nickle.

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Handley_Page said:

and you get Buffalo Springfield. (Whoopee!)


I put in a Bison

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Noor said:

and you get an Ictiobus

I put in a mounted bear head

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a very brave or foolish backwoodsman.

I put in Mount Blanc...

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Noor said:

and you get Waterman South sea blue ink

I put in a C2 nib

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Handley_Page said:

And you get a bottle of Stevens' Blue-Black ink; all over the paper.



I put in a Biro pen

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Noor said:

and you get an aerogram

I put in a nail clipper

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a collection of toenail parings.

I put in a cutty sark...

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Handley_Page said:

Which gets badly damaged by a mysterious fire.



I put in a decent Fire System

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Tio_Narratore said:

and the responders are all modestly attired.

I put in a lace demi-bra...

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Handley_Page said:

but it does not fit the Orang-utan that tries it.


I put in a lump of granite.

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Saxon_Hart said:

Which would make great counter tops if it were a slab rather than a lump.


I put in a horny contractor.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get all your horns installed according to city norms.

I put in a Holmes' home horn inspection...

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Handley_Page said:

but Mycroft has condemned the lot of 'em.



I put in a picture of the Reichenbach Falls.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and Moriarity steals it, secreting it inside the fresh terracotta bust of a bust of Josephine, one of sixty-nine laid out to dry before firing.

I put in a dog that didn't bark...

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Handley_Page said:

So we all had a quiet night.


I put in a silent revolver

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Noor said:

and you get a laser sight

I put in a caged crinoline

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Handley_Page said:

but the horse wants its hair back.



I put in a Violin string

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a gutsy cat.

I put in a 47-string Zither...

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Handley_Page said:

And you get a very puzzled Harpist




I put in a Dulcimer

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Noor said:

and you get a hog fiddle

I put in some saffron pudding

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Handley_Page said:

it's very fattening



I put in a new Gymnasium

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get a sweaty workout.

I put in an old gymnosperm...

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Saxon_Hart said:

And in nine months you get a young gymno calling you daddy.

I put in new carpet.

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