Wanted: womanfemalegirlladyoppositesex thang so I can compete with people here...

"I'm HORNY"

"I'm new"

"I'm your Daddy"

With 95% or more of the ads here having one or more of these statements in them, you won't be able to sell shit. Might want to think up some different lines.
 
My Puffin has gone all Zootwobble. Want to watch it dance? It loves Norah Jones.
 
My Puffin has gone all Zootwobble. Want to watch it dance? It loves Norah Jones.

Really? Most puffins end up doing the Kerringdazzang for the first four waxing crescent moon nights. Are you sure it's alright? Does it need a drink?
 
Really? Most puffins end up doing the Kerringdazzang for the first four waxing crescent moon nights. Are you sure it's alright? Does it need a drink?

My Puffin doesn't Kerringdazzang in July. It's holiday month. Chaos ensues during holiday month. Me and my Puffin will drink to anything, every time. Offer us tequila and we may require the occasional chum bucket with a side of nude dancers.
 
My Puffin doesn't Kerringdazzang in July. It's holiday month. Chaos ensues during holiday month. Me and my Puffin will drink to anything, every time. Offer us tequila and we may require the occasional chum bucket with a side of nude dancers.

Would you like the nude dancers fried or grilled? I prefer mine steamed but that goes better in winter.
 
My Puffin does. Just ask.

Alright, I will. *turns to the puffin, starts flapping arms like a chicken*
SQQQWWWAAAK SWQAK PAK PARQQQ PAAKOWW
...
It says you had kidnapped him by mistake while attempting to catch a narwhal. He'd like a ride back home, now, please.
 
Alright, I will. *turns to the puffin, starts flapping arms like a chicken*
SQQQWWWAAAK SWQAK PAK PARQQQ PAAKOWW
...
It says you had kidnapped him by mistake while attempting to catch a narwhal. He'd like a ride back home, now, please.

Cruelty to animals !!!!!!!!!!!!
 
In many countries use of animals for entertainment is prohibited

Entertaining animals is a crime? The puffin had a good time.
Using animals for entertainment? *looks at her cat, dog, axolotl and ducks* You heard the man. You cannot entertain me anymore. Please leave. *sobs*
 
Entertaining animals is a crime? The puffin had a good time.
Using animals for entertainment? *looks at her cat, dog, axolotl and ducks* You heard the man. You cannot entertain me anymore. Please leave. *sobs*

Cuddles her ; "whispers don't cry baby ".
 
No, but I still have my Powerball ticket. If I win the jackpot, I'm gonna buy Lit. Then you fuckers will all be up shit crick :eek:
 
No, but I still have my Powerball ticket. If I win the jackpot, I'm gonna buy Lit. Then you fuckers will all be up shit crick :eek:

Why, blacklisting all the goons that keep trying to get their wives laid over Skype or the poseurs with different Indian wives every week?
 
Why, blacklisting all the goons that keep trying to get their wives laid over Skype or the poseurs with different Indian wives every week?

There was a guy who has/had/probably doesn't have a hot blonde wife called Meggan
I wanted to send my condolences to him for having a wife with such a name. Meggan. Was the extra g needed? Was Megan the sexiest name he could think of? Why not Nikki?
It reminded me of Magrat and her poor daughter.
 
There was a guy who has/had/probably doesn't have a hot blonde wife called Meggan
I wanted to send my condolences to him for having a wife with such a name. Meggan. Was the extra g needed? Was Megan the sexiest name he could think of? Why not Nikki?
It reminded me of Magrat and her poor daughter.

I know a Meggan. She's a shapeshifting elf girl.
 
Back
Top