Only had a man make me cum three times...

I am not going to put the 'blame' on the guys you had sex with, but maybe on you.

It very well might be you yourself wired your body the way it is wired: Did you find a way to masturbate which will always give you an orgasm a long time ago? If so, is that the way you almost always masturbate?

If you answered both questions with yes, you should stop masturbating for a week or two, to give your body (and brain!) the chance to 'forget' what technic gives you an orgasm. Then slowly start to re-discover your own body and use different technics every time you masturbate. That might open up possibilities for a partner too.

Building on this, do you use a vibe often? I've read, around and about, that some women can become so accustomed to their vibes (or possibly even non-powered toys) that the real thing just isn't quite enough. So, as dutch suggested, practice some abstinence and then try to get off with only your fingers where/how you like it. It's certainly frustrating when you know exactly what works and can't communicate it sufficiently to a partner.

Additionally, just plain abstinence might get you in a state where you're more willing and easily aroused than usual.

And one more thought...don't concentrate so much on reaching the orgasm, just enjoy the journey your partner is taking you on. I've often found that the build-up is more intense, more exciting and interesting when I'm in the moment instead of anticipating the destination. :rose:
 
... and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?

I agree with much of what's been said already.

Your partners may well be PART of the problem, but they're probably not THE problem.

In my experience, no one GIVES you an orgasm. On the contrary, you ALLOW yourself to have an orgasm. Whether you're alone or with a partner.

Relaxing is a big part of it, but you're right. It's much easier said than done.

My advise would be to think about how you get yourself off and compare that with what's going on when you're with a partner. What's different? As many have mentioned, trust is often a big part of the equation. When you're with a partner, are you in the moment enough that you're willing to let yourself reach orgasm? Or are you thinking about it so much that it's not likely to happen?

If you can masturbate to orgasm without any problem, have you tried mutual masturbation? If not, give it a go.
 
There has been a lot of great advice given here. As far as the relaxing and taking some time of to learn your body, but don't forget to pick your mind and search there as well.

I hadto do this, i had been masturbating for years but was not reaching the heights other women would mention. Yes i know no woman is the same but i knew i had to at least try to intensify my orgasms. I did some soul and mental searching and healing. Little did i had some serious mental blockage, regardless of how far i had come my mind was still holding off. I went through a frustrating time trying to learn to come through penetration alone ( still haven't been able to yet ). At one point i started adding vibration to my clit, but not focusing on it. It took months and a hell of a lot oh " you deserve this ( insert my name )". It paid off, even though i can't climax from penetration alone yet, i have been able to achieve full body orgasms that leave me in full blown tears. The good kind, because i told myself i deserved it and allowed myself to fully let go. Not trying to make this about me, but i can gurantee you some of this advice people are giving works. May take days or months or even longer, but be persistant and patient and it should pay off. Learn your body and mind.
 
Are you able to come when someone is watching you? In that case:

The next time you have a partner you really trust:

1. Tell him about your situation. Tell him you find it difficult to orgasm if someone other than you stimulates you. See how he reacts.

2. If, after said reaction, you still trust him, suggest that on your next together-time, you do your thing until you come, and he should just hold you during that time. He shouldn't fondle you, or kiss you, or do anything but allow you to put your body next to his. Make it clear to him that, after you're done, you're willing to make him happy too.

3. Over the next few times you two are together, slowly increase the amount of action he has. At first, let him only caress you in a way you find comfortable while you get off. Next, maybe allow him to kiss you while you masturbate. Allow your body to slowly accept his presence, his actions as a part of your orgasm.

The last step should be you stimulating yourself as you allow him to penetrate you. (Many women I know do this anyway - tickle their clit while their partner is inside them.) Eventually, your body will learn that the presence of your partner means "ooh, orgasm".

Most importantly, take your time. If you've had this situation for years, it's not going to change within days.
 
So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?


Sorry, haven't read the thread yet, just insta-replying, but:

Have you tried self-stimulation during intercourse?

Many women I am friends with or have known throughout the years are almost only able to cum if they masturbate WHILE someone is fucking them (gives clitoral AND vaginal/g-spot stimulation simultaneously).

Also ,try the prone position--a lot of girls I know swear by it.
 
Thank you for your responses. Some of you have been very helpful and some of you have sent incredibly thoughtful and positive private messages that have been massively encouraging. I'm not with anyone at the moment, but am hoping that when I am, I can let go and both let myself be patient but also insist that my partner care enough about my pleasure to take as much time as necessary to get me there. <3 xoxoxo
 
Thank you for your responses. Some of you have been very helpful and some of you have sent incredibly thoughtful and positive private messages that have been massively encouraging. I'm not with anyone at the moment, but am hoping that when I am, I can let go and both let myself be patient but also insist that my partner care enough about my pleasure to take as much time as necessary to get me there. <3 xoxoxo

Good for you. The greatest sexual thrill for me has always been a woman who wanted what I've got and was willing and even eager to let me accompany and help on her "trip" to the big O. It was always very tough for me if my partner left me to stumble and fumble around trying to find the key to getting her off. Is was great when she'd help me by letting me know what felt good and what would feel better, guide my head with her hand when given her tongue, and letting me know what speed helped her most during intercourse. In other words, take some responsibility for your pleasure. Good luck. I hope you do well in the sack.
 
This might even be a case of where you're constantly comparing your experiences to that particular mind blowing one. Don't. Get used to the idea that you had that mind blowing orgasm at that time. Every other partner is going to be different; learn to accept that fact. We'd all love to have knee quivering orgasms better than the last one but it just might not be realistic.

Maybe learning how to relax and accepting of the fact that your next orgasm is going to be different might ease the want of that one particular experience.
 
Find someone that really knows how to eat your pussy, especially white rubbing your gspot. I fucked a nympho for a few months and she had had a few slight orgasms but not much more. I take pride in getting women off that struggle with orgasms. I was able to kid the nympho off big time, and she had been with lotsssss of men. Im not saying this to brag. Just saying that you need to someone that works hard at getting you off, especially before they get off.
 
helping you come

there's a lot more than just relaxing and most men don't have the patience or know how to help women who aren't naturally able to come easily. It takes time, the right touch and a variety of touches to feel her, stimulate her mind as well as her body...let her come three times first....now that said I'm not expecting the she thinks she can come without manual stimulation? I've only ever had a few like that and as the women have said here, they really knew their own bodies.
 
my wife went the first 6 months or so before she could cum with me. she was just divorced and still tense until she was able to relax. I got her off orally and through just full penetration. once she came close to orgasm just squatted in front of me giving me head and not rubbing herself. 75% is mental the rest is physical. relax you will cum soon...:rose:
 
I agree with BEAN. I am going through a similar situation at the moment, in that I can't cum from oral. So we are doing the - he goes down while I use my fingers :) eventually we will move to him giving me oral only.

So far it has been fun 'learning something new' :)
 
I didn't bother reading everyone else's reply so maybe you have an answer to your dilemma, but I must put my two cents in as well. When I was first starting to become sexually active (around 18-19), no man could get me off. It was many months before I had my first orgasm and even then it wasn't very intense.

I wonder if its not what they do during sex, but what they do beforehand. For a woman, sex starts almost 24 hours before intercourse. Anticipation has a lot to do with orgasm. I've found that the most intense sex I've had has been when I looked super forward to it. He would flirt and tease me all day and then when we finally hit the mattress, between my mental state and the foreplay, I would just explode for him.

So maybe you need a guy to romance you. Or one that's better at foreplay. Or just more experienced in general.
 
Well...I found a partner who can really make me cum. He lives in another city but....thank you for all the suggestions.
 
So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?

It just takes time. Once you really relax with somebody it will start happening. So take a deep breath, have a glass of wine and enjoy yourself. Somebody will type in the magic code!
 
So this is hugely embarrassing but I'm fed up and looking for answers...
I'm 26--first partner I was with for 6 years and he only made me cum three times through penetration/clitoral stimulation....subsequently have been with...close to two dozen partners and nobody has given me an orgasm...advice? Help?

I think after all is said and done, who you need is someone who is WANTS to put your pleasure first..
For example, nothing turns me on more than to cause, participate, or just watch a woman experiencing multiple orgasms..
May I suggest that if he doesn't know how to use a toy, his mouth, his hands, or all three together, :) on you, that he shouldent be allowed the chance to put himself in you..test them before you drive them....
 
Well...I found a partner who can really make me cum. He lives in another city but....thank you for all the suggestions.

Great! Congrats!

Just for the academic interest in it: Can you say what made the difference?






Now we can also derail the thread without feeling bad about it!
 
Of course she does.

But what I really want to know is, how far she is launched into the air when you come?

Don't you think it would have been appropriate to state your request in terms of metric or U.S. measurement units? I mean, for the sake of science and all that. ;)
 
You are so right!

..... I was more thinking along the line of "superhero wank fodder", but I agree, that I should rephrase my question:

In a series of at least 27 standard ejaculations, to which average height (measured in meter from absolute groin level to highest solid body-part. Hair and sprays of bodily fluids should be ignored) has the test subject (female, 62.3 kilos, positioned in knee-supported front facing cowgirl, at least 6 hours rest between experiments to regain.... elasticity) been projected?
 
You are so right!

..... I was more thinking along the line of "superhero wank fodder", but I agree, that I should rephrase my question:

In a series of at least 27 standard ejaculations, to which average height (measured in meter from absolute groin level to highest solid body-part. Hair and sprays of bodily fluids should be ignored) has the test subject (female, 62.3 kilos, positioned in knee-supported front facing cowgirl, at least 6 hours rest between experiments to regain.... elasticity) been projected?

Damn, this science-y stuff gets me all hard. ;)
 
You are so right!

..... I was more thinking along the line of "superhero wank fodder", but I agree, that I should rephrase my question:

In a series of at least 27 standard ejaculations, to which average height (measured in meter from absolute groin level to highest solid body-part. Hair and sprays of bodily fluids should be ignored) has the test subject (female, 62.3 kilos, positioned in knee-supported front facing cowgirl, at least 6 hours rest between experiments to regain.... elasticity) been projected?

you standard deviant ;)
 
You are so right!

..... I was more thinking along the line of "superhero wank fodder", but I agree, that I should rephrase my question:

In a series of at least 27 standard ejaculations, to which average height (measured in meter from absolute groin level to highest solid body-part. Hair and sprays of bodily fluids should be ignored) has the test subject (female, 62.3 kilos, positioned in knee-supported front facing cowgirl, at least 6 hours rest between experiments to regain.... elasticity) been projected?



That rephrase has too much "Train A leaves station traveling 70 mph" going on.


Perhaps start with something simpler,

*Pyew, Pyew!*

then start moving the target back.


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