desertslave
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2008
- Posts
- 5,491
I am not going to put the 'blame' on the guys you had sex with, but maybe on you.
It very well might be you yourself wired your body the way it is wired: Did you find a way to masturbate which will always give you an orgasm a long time ago? If so, is that the way you almost always masturbate?
If you answered both questions with yes, you should stop masturbating for a week or two, to give your body (and brain!) the chance to 'forget' what technic gives you an orgasm. Then slowly start to re-discover your own body and use different technics every time you masturbate. That might open up possibilities for a partner too.
Building on this, do you use a vibe often? I've read, around and about, that some women can become so accustomed to their vibes (or possibly even non-powered toys) that the real thing just isn't quite enough. So, as dutch suggested, practice some abstinence and then try to get off with only your fingers where/how you like it. It's certainly frustrating when you know exactly what works and can't communicate it sufficiently to a partner.
Additionally, just plain abstinence might get you in a state where you're more willing and easily aroused than usual.
And one more thought...don't concentrate so much on reaching the orgasm, just enjoy the journey your partner is taking you on. I've often found that the build-up is more intense, more exciting and interesting when I'm in the moment instead of anticipating the destination.