Feedback needed - indian girl enters mile high club

sweetdreamssss

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Hi

This is the story of an indian girl who meets a handsome white man in flight and they have sex mid air and then in an airport restroom . This was in response to a commenter asking me to pair an indian girl with a white man .

https://www.literotica.com/s/indian-girl-enters-mile-high-club

I'm weak in English so after getting rejected twice , Private1stclass helped me to edit the story.

Your feedbacks and criticism welcomed .
 
Hi

This is the story of an indian girl who meets a handsome white man in flight and they have sex mid air and then in an airport restroom . This was in response to a commenter asking me to pair an indian girl with a white man .

https://www.literotica.com/s/indian-girl-enters-mile-high-club

I'm weak in English so after getting rejected twice , Private1stclass helped me to edit the story.

Your feedbacks and criticism welcomed .
try to improve grammar or write in hindi or language u know!
 
That wasn't very erotic to me. It was written in a rather clinical fashion. Sorry.
 
try to improve grammar or write in hindi or language u know!

Just a random off topic note, writing in the native language is not always an option, especially for smut. There are languages out there that have less alive speakers than monthly unique views of this site. On top, most of those might be considered to be judgmental social conservatives, so there may be no perceived audience for such work. One might be doing it anyway just as an exercise, but then what? You can't Google translate that, it will be even worse at least and likely completely unreadable. Translation is creative art, especially if original include specific grammatical constructions and wordplay that can't be readily reproduced in English.

For instance in Latvian diminutive and derogative is grammatical functions you can apply to any noun, so I can say: "diminutive(Politicians) read diminutive(speeches) to diminutive(crowds) of diminutive(people)," basically saying "assholes pour lies to dumb followers," but doing it in ironic and passive aggressive, deliberately supersweet way guaranteed to sound comical. Good luck to translate that.
 
try to improve grammar or write in hindi or language u know!

The truth is that I want more people to read my stories and English is the best medium . I've ideas of more stories . If someone can collaborate, then we can produce more stories .
 
Hi

This is the story of an indian girl who meets a handsome white man in flight and they have sex mid air and then in an airport restroom . This was in response to a commenter asking me to pair an indian girl with a white man .

https://www.literotica.com/s/indian-girl-enters-mile-high-club

I'm weak in English so after getting rejected twice , Private1stclass helped me to edit the story.

Your feedbacks and criticism welcomed .
Hi... I am an Indian too. I read your story and it wasn't bad at all, it needs a little improvement when it comes to language but I understand how difficult it can get for some of us since English is not our first language. I got some hate when I wrote my initial stories, because I wasn't very good at describing the actual act. I improved over the time with the help of some constructive criticism I received from people. I hope you don't feel disheartened because of the rude comments and work on your writing with the help of the feedback you get. Besides, I have seen people whose first language is English, writing disastrous stuff. You can always learn. Read stories that you find in the hot list and you'll get an idea on how you can improve. That's all I can say. Good luck.
 
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