"To keep the review thread clean..."

UnderYourSpell said:

Thanks to Dora for your kind mention of 'I knew his brother' but can you please point out the faults, funny how one person (well me anyway) can read it til they are blue in the face and still not see blinding faults!

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UnderYourSpell said:

Can anyone tell me why In solid rows has come up all in capital letters? It certainly wasn't submitted that way!

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EroticOrogeny said:

That is weird - even the articles and prepositions. I know you're not a fan of capitalizing starting lines, and not all caps, as if the bit had been hit. Your other poem came up right.

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UnderYourSpell said:

Lorencino I don't understand the reason for the capitals either I didn't put them there!!!!!!! as I would have explained to you if your PMs had been open but thankyou for the mention *goes away to scream in a corner*

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UnderYourSpell said:

I'd like to add that I enjoyed Thistle very much and it deserves more comments and votes

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LadynStFreknBed said:

Thank you, lorencino, for picking up the slack.

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EroticOrogeny said:

There are several new poems today

I recommend Wall of sugar by peach77, a cute little poem characterizing over-eating as means of avoidance.
THis is my favorite for the day. . .

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lorencino said:

Quoted from New Poetry Recommendations thread

I think this poem is a lot more complex than dealing simply with over-eating though that plays an important role in what the poet constructs here. The second stanza begins:

Smiles
Giggles
And jokes

Which indicates the other prong produced by the psyche of the person described in the poem via a two prong description. The indulgence in comfort food and the wall of amiability combine to indicate an insecure person. The insecurity is not openly described but simply hinted at by this graphic description of the two symptoms. The reader is thus freed to ponder the nature of the person behind the symptoms. Please understand that no offence is meant, dear EroticOrogeny, but I fear that "cute" may not do this poem justice.

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lorencino said:

New Poetry Recommendation seems to have been abandoned. I really enjoyed that thread when I first came to Literotica and I learnt a lot from it. Now it seems to be of scant interest to the poets here. I have tried to fill the vacuum in the past few weeks, but am beginning to get a hangover from seeing too much of my personal and somewhat eccentric tastes reflected there. There are scores of people here who are far more capable than I am and I can't help wondering if, perhaps, Literotica has burnt itself out as a serious poetry venue.

Makes me sad.

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UnderYourSpell said:

Hell I hope not and I applaud you for making the effort I've never volunteered because I would be crap at it. It's not of scant interest to me and I am sure it's not to the others that submit their work so please don't desert now you are appreciated believe you me

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chipbutty said:

Claudette's 'Meeting Buddha at the Clinic'

I agree with the hang-up over that first line, feeling it requires a small tweak to smooth the trip. I'm wondering if her wording was completely intentional, though, to create that same trip for the reader to stumble over, like shock at bad news, and how it makes the narrator become totally self-aware; of course, this might be more about the embarrassment of an exam and the attempt to mentally remove themself from the situation, or, with the further references to K, some crisis situation, life and death. Whatever the medical connotaions, I still feel it could work better if phrased perhaps using speech-marks (something I'm not a huge fan of in poetry to be honest), and more along these lines:

I just need to breathe said me to myself
Just breathe like the Buddha and be.

becomes

"just breathe" said I to me
just breathe like the Buddha and be.

The Kerouac reference with its specific Buddha connotations is more than a simple name-drop here, and 'safe in heaven dead' springs to mind, lending this line further dimension.


I did enjoy this piece. Bigger on the inside than the out.

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chipbutty said:

Woodlander Sacrifice - by Under Your Spell

I've read a fair bit of this talented lady's work, and was looking forward to this unreservedly. I'm sorry to say I found it disappointing as a poem. For me, it quite simply fits into prose format. While it was concise, and visual, I am really sad to say it fell short of my estimations of her talent as formed by reading her other material.

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chipbutty said:

Claudette's 'Meeting Buddha at the Clinic'

snip

"just breathe" said I to me
just breathe like the Buddha and be.

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chipbutty said:

Claudette's 'Meeting Buddha at the Clinic'

. . . I'm wondering if her wording was completely intentional, though, to create that same trip for the reader to stumble over, like shock at bad news, and how it makes the narrator become totally self-aware; of course, this might be more about the embarrassment of an exam and the attempt to mentally remove themself from the situation, or, with the further references to K, some crisis situation, life and death. . . .

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lorencino said:

and



While these remarks are a most valuable contribution to the critical evaluation of poetry that appears here, this thread has been the conventional place to post these so that the Recommendations do not become obscured by discussion posts. True, this information is not clearly posted, and newcomers have no way of knowing this.

And now that the review thread has been renamed to the recommendations thread, it becomes even less likely that people will realize what this thread is used for.

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