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Why do women like hunters?
They always go deep into the bush, shoot twice, and eat what they shoot.
If dicks had wings, your ass would be an airport.
Three guys were fishing at a lake in the summer, when one of
them fell in. After rescuing him from the bottom, the first guy
gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Man, this guy really
has bad breath! he exclaimed.
I cant revive him, you give it a try!
The second guy took his turn. Man, you're right, he
does have raunchy bad breath, and i don't remember this
snowmobile suit either!
Who had the earliest recorded case of pms?
Mary. She rode Josephs ass all the way to Bethlehem.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz
Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. - Margaret Bonnano
Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. - Jorge Louis Borges
Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. - Dion Boucicault
Oh Time! the beautifier of the dead, adorer of the ruin, comforter and only healer when the heart hath bled... Time, the avenger! - Lord Byron
One life - a little gleam of Time between two Eternities. - Thomas Carlyle
Take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves. - Lord Chesterfield
Newt’s Pledge (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
No adult’ry for me, pledges Newt.
I’ve given my cheating the boot.
I’ve confessed and repented.
My soul’s reinvented.
And I can’t get it up, so it’s moot.