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Dave's Zombie Proof Bunker and Refuge for Unattached Wimmens

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*Wakes up late in the day and wonders where I am. Certainly, this is not the room I went to sleep in. As I reach to see if I am still accompanied by one or both of the ladies, I realize that the handcuffs are now on me. Both hands are shackled. "Hmmmm, crafty girls..." I muse.

And then, the room comes into focus and I find that I am in my own room. "How....did that happen?"

Perhaps it is time to seek out some sort of vision enhancements. My age is catching up to me. If only my eyes had begun to go bad before the world went to hell, I might have availed myself of a professional optometrist's skills. As things are now, I fear that I will not be able to read in a couple of years. I can see long distances like a champ, but come on, who doesn't recognize their own room in the morning?

Meh, I've got bigger things to think about. I'm going to go make a sandwich and see if any of the ladies want to play chess.
 
"Good luck getting up with your hands like that, Dave."

He didnt see me, hidden in a dim corner of the room. after a moment's confusion his head seems to clear and he relaxes. Before he makes a witty retort I step out the the corner and over to the bed. He turns one wrist so the keyhole points at me, waiting for release. Little does he know I have no plans of letting him up.

Ive been watching Dave over the past few months, seen how far he sticks his arm out when he's trying to read something. Aviation may have been my main occupation, but that doesnt mean I havent planned an alternate career. From behind my back I pull a heavy white instrument shaped roughly like a very blocky gun. Dave's face flashes confusion, then fear. Carefully I climb onto his chest and pin his head against the pillow with one hand. Holding the lid open with the base of my thumb I set a little bar across his upper eyebrow and squeeze the trigger. Three bright flashes of light glint of the shiny surface of his cornea as the machine hums deeply. He blinks madly as I pull away but doesn't try to speak. The same thing happens to the left eye.

"Good boy. All done."

Dave blinks confusedly at me as I hop off and skip out of the room. Looks like I'm going into town today.
 
WhipLuvr said:
"Good boy. All done."
Click to expand...

I lay in the semi-darkness for five minutes, wondering what just happened. "Good boy?" What did I do right? Shit, what have I ever done right?

I need a sandwich and a drink. So, I'm going to wander around here handcuffed like this and see if I can find some peanut butter and jelly...and someone with a handcuff key. Gotta be careful though. Walking around with my eyes all wonky, naked, and with my hands immobilized might be problematic just now.

Whatever. I bet I can pour a glass of whiskey like this.

My new challenge; bartending while handcuffed.

I arrive in the common area and turn on the lights and the music. Maybe standing behind the bar, I can hide the handcuffs.

I'll just wait here until thirsty people start to arrive...
 
Chaingun said:
"Ahhh, thank you, that is so much better."

*drops ice into a glass, ads vodka, peach schnapps, and a mixture of cranberry and orange juice. A cherry is added at the end and...voila'...we are ready for consumption.



"Oh, hey, wait. Why you leaving?"
Click to expand...

I like to hide out, perhaps a nightcap later?
 
*winks at the two of you*

Howdy do? I'll take a shot of Patron, Tres Generaciones if you have that instead.. Lime and salt, please..
 
*Tosses a large crystal shot glass in the air, catches it behind his back, and sets it on the bar with a flourish. The motion has distracted the eye away from what the other hand was doing because, as if by magic, a square bottle of Patron has appeared in his other hand. The bottle is upended and a solid stream of good tequila pours out, hits the bottom of the glass, and stops as it reaches a spot just short of the rim. A small plate is offered with the glass; on it are a salt shaker and a generous slice of lime.*

"Tres generacions, mi amiga."
 
TongueLust said:
In my room right? I need the company, bring your yarn. :kiss:
Click to expand...

Tonight, my dear, I have a lovely silk blend yarn... very strong, but soft to the touch. I'm going to crochet some ....uhm wrist warmers...that uh.. connect together.. so they don't get separated in the laundry.
Don't you hate when the wrist warmers get separated? Kind of like the mysterious disappearing socks in the dryer.


I think I need that shot first. Nothing like smooth tequila and lime to wake the muse....
 
*tosses #2 back and puts headphones on*

Now normally, when I put my headphones at this hour I'm listening to various forms of aural inspiration. However, right now I am merely enjoying Pitbull tickle my internal metronome... "Fuego"....
 
Sets five shot glasses on the bar and fills each with two ounces of Gentleman Jack.

Looks around, head bobbing to the dance music pounding from the speakers, and starts hitting the shots. In ten seconds, they are all gone.

Mmmmm, yum.
 
Shamelessly dances around to "Toma"....ain't nothing more amusing to watch than a 40 year old white woman try to twerk...

LMFAO..

*ouch. my back* haha
 
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