Companion to the 5 Senses Challenge

greenmountaineer · Feb 24, 2014

Angeline said:
Whatever have you against Sponge Bob
is a good question what with the tv
jingling like a mad tea kettle whistles
from another planet about vanilla
flavored bug spray pineapples under
the sea the whole electric buzz
of the universe our evolutionary pro-
gress as seen by carnival touts
and mad men.

Oh mother for a summer's day
when we'd pat lilac talcum
on our wrists, pass the time
talking of the garden how the
pole beans were coming along.

~~~~~~~~~~

sight: ski slope
sound: barking
scent: cologne
taste: ice
touch: your choice

Nice contrasts between the two stanzas at so many levels.

butters · Feb 24, 2014

todski28 said:
the taste of winter's ice a pillow

wow! seriously

Angeline · Feb 24, 2014

greenmountaineer said:
Nice contrasts between the two stanzas at so many levels.

Thank you gm.

todski28 · Feb 25, 2014

gm that is one awesome poem the sounds just bounce off each line perfectly, it took me three reads to get it because I kept getting lost in the music!

greenmountaineer · Feb 25, 2014

todski28 said:
gm that is one awesome poem the sounds just bounce off each line perfectly, it took me three reads to get it because I kept getting lost in the music!

Thanks, todski. It was a fun write.

greenmountaineer · Mar 2, 2014

"Snowblind" left me speechless, Desejo, sincerely.

butters · Mar 2, 2014

greenmountaineer said:
"Snowblind" left me speechless, Desejo, sincerely.

amazing piece *nods*

and Tzed's latest was smart-funny

Desejo · Mar 2, 2014

GM and Butters - thank you. It's funny, I wasn't sure about it. I think it's still unfinished. Poeming after a break always has this "does that suck?" uncertainty. At least for me. I've been really busy with a new job, but I hope to be able to stop in here more regularly soon as I pass the steep learning curve.

todski28 · Jun 19, 2014

Damn fine writing pensive

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=57878111&postcount=643

pensivepoet · Jun 19, 2014

todski28 said:
Damn fine writing pensive

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=57878111&postcount=643

Thanks todski. I don't usually do prompts, but i was in the mood to throw something down, and i can't resist rain on a tin roof.

Trixareforkids · Jun 19, 2014

todski28 said:
Damn fine writing pensive

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=57878111&postcount=643

I agree with Todski, very creative use of the words and a lovely poem. I really wish you'd hit all 5 senses though.

And dang it Todski, you're too damn fast, you got to the next one before me. I saw an old man's room and his younger (though still old herself) sister blowing raspberries at him as she packs up his things.

pensivepoet · Jun 19, 2014

Trixareforkids said:
I agree with Todski, very creative use of the words and a lovely poem. I really wish you'd hit all 5 senses though.

And dang it Todski, you're too damn fast, you got to the next one before me. I saw an old man's room and his younger (though still old herself) sister blowing raspberries at him as she packs up his things.

I'm sorry, trix, but i'm nothing if not a man who breaks every damn rule. Just my nature.
So i turned your scent into an object, your touch to vapor, and taste into colour.
See? That's why i can't do prompts. I colour way outside the lines.

Trixareforkids · Jun 19, 2014

pensivepoet said:
I'm sorry, trix, but i'm nothing if not a man who breaks every damn rule. Just my nature.
So i turned your scent into an object, your touch to vapor, and taste into colour.
See? That's why i can't do prompts. I colour way outside the lines.

Yeah yeah, at least your good at being bad.

pensivepoet · Jun 19, 2014

Kudos, todski. I'da never thunk you could take those things where you did and make them work. I shoulda thrown a hard hat in the mix.
Sheesh, trix. The poor guy always suffers in your writings. You always leave him at the railing.
Cruel vixen

Trixareforkids · Jun 19, 2014

pensivepoet said:
Kudos, todski. I'da never thunk you could take those things where you did and make them work. I shoulda thrown a hard hat in the mix.
Sheesh, trix. The poor guy always suffers in your writings. You always leave him at the railing.
Cruel vixen

Vixen on occasion but rarely cruel.

And I'm totally jealous of todski's brain. Mine goes to an old man's room, while his goes there.

pensivepoet · Jun 19, 2014

Trixareforkids said:
Vixen on occasion but rarely cruel.

And I'm totally jealous of todski's brain. Mine goes to an old man's room, while his goes there.

The groom was old? Where was that? You can't just make up shit later. That changes everything.
Oh nevermind, i'm off to Wally's for a beer~wheel of fortune's coming on. Ltr

twelveoone · Jun 19, 2014

pensivepoet said:
I'm sorry, trix, but i'm nothing if not a man who breaks every damn rule. Just my nature.
So i turned your scent into an object, your touch to vapor, and taste into colour.
See? That's why i can't do prompts. I colour way outside the lines.

LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY IN THE RAIN
the purple rain
in spain
doesn't make it planed
er, you need a tool for that

pensivepoet · Jun 19, 2014

twelveoone said:
LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY IN THE RAIN
the purple rain
in spain
doesn't make it planed
er, you need a tool for that

Hmm...i thought a double entendre was supposed to be subtle. I'll make a note.

Trixareforkids · Aug 20, 2014

KatieJones said:
sight: grave stone
sound: clicking fan
scent: honeysuckle
taste: tart apple
touch: damp soil

clicking ceiling fan counts the seconds
that confirm that time still moves
forward despite the fridge full
of lasagnas and tart apple pies
carefully wrapped with expiry dates
in case the fan stops
and he is stuck in the moment
where he hears the fall
of damp soil into a six foot hole
and stares at the jewelry spread
across her dresser, gravestones
of memories he’s afraid will fade
like her honeysuckle perfume
so he never touches the pearls
and leaves the fan alone

Nice one Katie. Brings such a clear image from a very succinct piece.
Your vision was similar to what was in my head, only I saw an old woman and a child instead of an old man and his wife.

KatieJones · Aug 20, 2014

Trixareforkids said:
Nice one Katie. Brings such a clear image from a very succinct piece.
Your vision was similar to what was in my head, only I saw an old woman and a child instead of an old man and his wife.

Thank you!

That's very cool that we had similar visions with different characters! I am glad I am not the only one that starts to see a story unfurl as I come up with my 'words'.

pensivepoet · Sep 17, 2014

Liked your last, trix
Remembering in a walk to a cafe
Then questions
Then a conclusion in putting aside.
It had a nice even comfy feel all the way through

Trixareforkids · Sep 17, 2014

pensivepoet said:
Liked your last, trix
Remembering in a walk to a cafe
Then questions
Then a conclusion in putting aside.
It had a nice even comfy feel all the way through

Thanks Pen. It had legs of its own and took me in an unexpected direction.

greenmountaineer · Oct 16, 2014

Lovely sad poem, Angie. Makes the reader want to linger and reflect on what's really important.

Angeline · Oct 16, 2014

greenmountaineer said:
Lovely sad poem, Angie. Makes the reader want to linger and reflect on what's really important.

Thank you, GM. It's almost four months since I lost my Terry. I thnk I'm starting to be able to write about my feelings with more clarity and perspective.
:rose:

champagne1982 · Oct 17, 2014

playcatch, I just love how evocative of the season your October Octagon poem is. I could feel my nose hairs hurt when you talked about 40 below. Loved it.

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