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Your favourite smesh awful erotica descriptive phrase of less than 5 words

Jada59 said:
Holy cow! My vagina has no lid! What shall I do?
Click to expand...

Clearly, you need to get one installed.

trap-door.png
 
Each is worse than the last - you have been warned

“Batter down my virgin door!”
(That’s an Anne Rice gem)

“Shoot your goo my dude!”
(That’s from a liberal hentai translation)

“Your sperm is raping my sperm, Mom!”
(That’s from a literal hentai translation)
 
"Buffin' the Muffin" referring to a woman masturbating. I thought no it was Chris Moore in "The Stupidest Angel".

I doubt he frequents Lit, so I'm keeping it!
 
TANSTAAFL58 said:
"Buffin' the Muffin" referring to a woman masturbating. I thought no it was Chris Moore in "The Stupidest Angel".

I doubt he frequents Lit, so I'm keeping it!
Click to expand...

"Growling at the Badger" is a Scots term for cunnilingus.

Another:

Munching the Merkin
 
Oblimo said:
“Your sperm is raping my sperm, Mom!”
(That’s from a literal hentai translation)
Click to expand...

Hentai translations are the worst! So many of them make you think, "Fuck, I HOPE this stuff sounds hot in Japanese!"
 
“hammered her tight twat”
“nailed her oozing gash”
“Oozed from her creaming cunt”
 
I want passion, not a Kallax shelf unit...

Insert tab "A" into slot...

Love and Kisses

Lisa Ann
 
Terry as a woman under her tool age was going to become a perfect willing submissive tender loving bitch.
 
Plucking her peach

fondling her globes

drinking her love juice

licking her shit hole

probing her love pot
 
“Talking to the canoe driver” (credit unknown)

“Shining his helmet” (credit Beavis and Butthead)
 
well over 5 words but a new classic

"like some crazed and methodical Singer sewing machine, doing a systematic zig-zag stitch along my body"

protected souce
 
referring to a dead young woman of the author's acquaintance -

"nubile breasts would never grow"
 
"Mewling like tigers in heat"
All I can think of is the most obnoxious cat meowing sounds at 3 am
 
"Milky boobies?"

It was the first sex chat I ever received the night I switched on the internet for the first time and entered a chat room 23 years ago!
 
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