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How To Make Your Partner Notice You Again

So, here is how I see things changing.

The other day, I came home from work, it was a very long day and my husband wanted to cuddle. He didn't work that day so he was waiting for me when I got home.

I could have said no, that I was tired from work and wait til later, but I didn't. I think that shows that for me, I am willing to change as well, and make time for him even though I am tired, if that's the time we have to be together, then I'll do it.

I realize I need to change my ways to, and do what's best for him. That time we spent together wasn't just sex, but FULL of passion! I can tell our intimacy is changing. One flirt, one wink, one kiss at a time.
 
I talked to someone today, about when traumatic events happen and how it affects your life, marriage and your everyday life.

In some ways it brought us together and in some ways its making life difficult.

We don't talk about it, and I think if we did, that would make our relationship even better.

That's my next step, is healing.
 
TarnishedPenny said:
Not sure what to make of this. A week ago, it was “That time we spent together wasn't just sex, but FULL of passion!”

Passionate sex, but not exciting?
Click to expand...

I think its because this week has been so busy, we had three days off, and no time together.

Last week was really great, and am so happy that we are getting back on track, I am so lucky to be having another chance at love.

I have been thinking a lot about the things that we've been through, and the things we haven't talked about. Sometimes that takes its toll too.

You are so right though...it was such passion.
 
Of course they take their toll; ç’est la vie... but you are working on it, right?

In any case, I still don’t understand. Lots of passion, but you’re still asking when does it get exciting. What am I missing here?
 
TarnishedPenny said:
Of course they take their toll; ç’est la vie... but you are working on it, right?

In any case, I still don’t understand. Lots of passion, but you’re still asking when does it get exciting. What am I missing here?
Click to expand...

Let me try and dissect my feelings.

At the moment, I am feeling alone, he's been at work, also dealing with his medical condition and I have been ill as well.

In the moment, I am missing the time we had off, and the time we spent together, and the time we were together.

Its just part of life, and I am feeling that. It comes and goes. We have been through a lot, and have counseling set up for us at the end of the month.

I am writing down my own thoughts and feelings on this journey of reconnecting. It isn't always easy and I fear at times it will go back to the way it was before.
 
OK, I'll buy all that.

LoveBeginsAgain said:
It isn't always easy and I fear at times it will go back to the way it was before.
Click to expand...

Here's the kicker. Since when has anything worthwhile ever been easy? There's too much Harlequin Romance happily-ever-after and too much instant-gratification horsepucky in this world. We keep expecting (even if only subconsciously) everything to 'just work out' without fights, without tears, without pain and without cost.

The reason things work is because we make them work. You and your mister are beginning that path. It's not easy. There are bumps and mud and mosquitoes and barking dogs and every manner of annoyance and burden. But, like a commenter to one of my stories put it (bless him), it's not about the light at the end of the tunnel, it's having someone special beside you to hold a flashlight as you dig your way out.

'Cause that makes it all worth it. You've seen it already.

The journey is worth it. :heart:
 
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LoveBeginsAgain said:
When will it be exciting again?
Click to expand...

Keep your chin up. You didn’t get in this situation overnight so your not going to fix it overnight either. Keep trying. It will get better.

Remember it’s a marathon and not a sprint.

:rose:
 
TarnishedPenny said:
OK, I'll buy all that.



Here's the kicker. Since when has anything worthwhile ever been easy? There's too much Harlequin Romance happily-ever-after and too much instant-gratification horsepucky in this world. We keep expecting (even if only subconsciously) everything to 'just work out' without fights, without tears, without pain and without cost.

The reason things work is because we make them work. You and your mister are beginning that path. It's not easy. There are bumps and mud and mosquitoes and barking dogs and every manner of annoyance and burden. But, like a commenter to one of my stories put it (bless him), it's not about the light at the end of the tunnel, it's having someone special beside you to hold a flashlight as you dig your way out.

'Cause that makes it all worth it. You've seen it already.

The journey is worth it. :heart:
Click to expand...

smtst5 said:
Keep your chin up. You didn’t get in this situation overnight so your not going to fix it overnight either. Keep trying. It will get better.

Remember it’s a marathon and not a sprint.

:rose:
Click to expand...

Thank you :) :rose::rose:

Chapter 3. Acknowledge the positive steps towards my relationship...more cuddle time, more flirting, a little more conversation, more sex :)
Acknowledge what I need to work on...stressors, health issues, planning or making time for those special moments. Make time for each other, no matter what...good day or not.

Most of all, love the fact that after married so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
 
LoveBeginsAgain said:
Thank you :) :rose::rose:

Chapter 3. Acknowledge the positive steps towards my relationship...more cuddle time, more flirting, a little more conversation, more sex :)
Acknowledge what I need to work on...stressors, health issues, planning or making time for those special moments. Make time for each other, no matter what...good day or not.

Most of all, love the fact that after married so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Click to expand...

Don’t forget touching. Hold hands. Hold his forearm when walking. Put your hand on his leg when sitting next to him. I love to touch and be touched. Slowly tease too.
 
smtst5 said:
Don’t forget touching. Hold hands. Hold his forearm when walking. Put your hand on his leg when sitting next to him. I love to touch and be touched. Slowly tease too.
Click to expand...


All great ideas.:rose:

Today he brought dinner in bed because i wasn't feeling well.

How sweet is that!
 
LoveBeginsAgain said:
Thank you :) :rose::rose:

Chapter 3. Acknowledge the positive steps towards my relationship...more cuddle time, more flirting, a little more conversation, more sex :)
Acknowledge what I need to work on...stressors, health issues, planning or making time for those special moments. Make time for each other, no matter what...good day or not.

Most of all, love the fact that after married so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Click to expand...

All good points. Just remember:

Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
 
TarnishedPenny said:
All good points. Just remember:

Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Love the fact that after so many years of marriage, we can have such passion again.
Click to expand...

This made my eyes water...

That's beautiful...my words, yet so powerful when you wrote it that way.
 
Keep a diary or notes on things that work. They maybe a useful reference for trying again in a few years time.

It's like cooking. We seem to make the same meals week in, week out. We know some great recipes, but after a while they can be forgotten about. Keeping your own recipe book to look back on can help to add some variety.

Hope that comparison makes sense.

Hope it works out for you though x
 
candystripe79 said:
Keep a diary or notes on things that work. They maybe a useful reference for trying again in a few years time.

It's like cooking. We seem to make the same meals week in, week out. We know some great recipes, but after a while they can be forgotten about. Keeping your own recipe book to look back on can help to add some variety.

Hope that comparison makes sense.

Hope it works out for you though x
Click to expand...

I got that, and I think I found one recipe that works very well, my new favorite nighty works very well for intimacy, and movie night works well for cuddling :)
 
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