Editors wanted, pre-maritial cheating
I've got a couple of stories based on my naivety while engaged to a girl (latter wife) who had the hots for a male co-worker. We were religious conservatives so courted in the most hands off manor. Away from her parents house, she was a wild southern California girl who broke all her parent's religious restrictions.
A large part is her hot action with her co-worker. My social inexperience, naiveness, and gullibility figure some, and family politics and co-worker (who was a player) manipulations make up the rest.
I see at least 3 parts.
This first is complete, 1200 words 33 paragraphs outlining our meeting, courtship, marriage, and revelation, emphasizing her bad behavior.
The second part is a blow by blow covering my move to SoCal, courtship, telling what she did as I reconstructed from pillow talk, etc. It's close, 6000 words 150 paragraphs in current revision. Could get larger.
The third part is after the marriage. She'd cleaned up her act just before the wedding, but withing a couple of months had completely backslid. Being a player, her co-worker had moved onto fresh meat. He expanded their one on one into a swinging/swapping style, passing her onto his friends while still keeping her available for occasional use as a fill-in.
I know how I'm going to write part 3, but it won't be ready for a few weeks, not to mention I have to let go of part 2.
Besides the usual spelling (damned auto-correct), there could be grammar problems -- switching tenses in particular. More subtle would unequal allusions, (un-)parallel constructions, and areas weak in style.
I also want advice on splitting into parts. Maybe it should be further sub-divided?
Plus, what questions do I leave unanswered in the readers mind?
Anyone interested? If nothing more, you can pre-read and give a short comment/rating!
Last edited by ReadyOne : 03-25-2018 at 09:48 PM.