BDSM: Questions and Answers

There was one girl who I was very much in love with. If you threw fetishes out the window, we were close to a perfect couple. We had our little spats, but we never used derogatory terms when we got angry.

However she was very strong minded and didn't like to be submissive in the least. She played the submissive on occasion, but I could tell and she noticed that. We amiably decided to go our separate ways.

I met her a couple of times since back then, she had a failed marriage to some girlyman (Though I know better, she isn't Domme and from all outward appearances, he was submissive, or at least wanted her calling the shots). They had a kid and he left her without any assistance to their child (almost full grown now).

Each time we've met, you can see we're both smiling at what once was. I suspect she is asking the same questions in her head. "what if...?" Eventually it comes down to stubborn pride and I think both of us have more than our fair share.

She is the VP of some bank system-thing now. I always knew she was smart and valued that aspect of her, but I could never be second fiddle in a relationship.

I thought this was poignant somehow to the discussion of "guys that ID'd as a dom untill he fell in love with a Domme".

My dad always used to say "the best way you can prove you can lead, is by showing how well you can follow." In other words, even the boss usually has somebody over them. At work, I've never had a problem with a woman being in charge, unless she didn't know how to be in charge. I feel the same though about any man as well.

I can't explain why I have an issue with a woman having a better job than me in a relationship beyond saying "stubborn pride".
 
At work, I've never had a problem with a woman being in charge, unless she didn't know how to be in charge. I feel the same though about any man as well.

I can't explain why I have an issue with a woman having a better job than me in a relationship beyond saying "stubborn pride".

If you would have just said "with a woman being in charge", I would have passed over it. Being you needed to add the rest, your comment is just like Sara Palin's "I have a gay best friend" to justify her homophobia, which makes your "unless she didn't know how to be in charge" just as misogynistic.
 
Where are you supposed to put them? Right on the nipple or behind it?

I would say that tends to depend on what kind of clamp it is and how much pain you are looking for... If it's just a regular alligator type clip, and it is adjustable, maybe start with it on the least clamping pressure that will keep it fastened, make the nipple stand out however you can :) and then put it right on the hard nipple. Gently! If that is enjoyable, tighten up the clamp and try other areas that may be more sensitive. The nipple itself, at least for me, is less sensitive to clamping pressure than the areole area, sides of the breast, etc.
 
I would say that tends to depend on what kind of clamp it is and how much pain you are looking for... If it's just a regular alligator type clip, and it is adjustable, maybe start with it on the least clamping pressure that will keep it fastened, make the nipple stand out however you can :) and then put it right on the hard nipple. Gently! If that is enjoyable, tighten up the clamp and try other areas that may be more sensitive. The nipple itself, at least for me, is less sensitive to clamping pressure than the areole area, sides of the breast, etc.

For me it depends on my mood
 
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