Most Degraded

It has recently come to my attention that my wife has been cheating on me again. We have been through this a few times but this is the last straw for me. If history is any indicator I will confront her, she will cry, admit it and apologize then I will forgive her. Unfortunately for her I am no longer willing to forgive her and we are headed to divorce this time. That said, I have been humiliated enough and I am ready to do the same to her. What I really want to do is slowly up the ante in terms of degradation until she has gone much further than she would have ever expected and eventually says fine give me the divorce papers I can't do this any longer but she will have to live with the fact that she did this and that before getting there, yes this is vindictive. Yes I am probably going to hell, no I will not physically harm her.

So I am here looking for input/ideas from you.

Right now I am thinking that I will start by telling her she is clearly a bitch, which she will admit to. So I am going to treat her like one for a week, I will take her to a pet store, we do not own any pets, and make her find a dog collar that fits around her neck, then I will get a leash. As soon as we are outside the doors of the store she will put both on. When we get home she will only be allowed to walk around the house on all fours, will be served meals on the floor without utensils, will only be able to kiss me from the waist down, she will sleep on the floor next to the bed. At some point we will take it public and I will tie her up outside of a store while I go in and go shopping. The entire time she can tap out by signing the papers, it is her choice the whole time to continue or not.

If she persists, I might decide the next week that she is just a toilet, you can imagine what this would entail...

So do you have suggestions? What was a humiliating/degrading thing that you did or had done to you that still looking back you feel like how did I ever let myself do that?

Just get the divorce and move on. Also, don't post the same stupid shit in two seperate places.

Nothing you do to her will repair or even ease what hurts. I respect that you are angry, but there is nothing hot about blatant cruelty painted in deceit... And without her complete consent I am not sure I like this idea being filed under BDSM labels either.

I agree with Meekme that it's time to let go, grieve, and move on. I am a fan of beginning the way that you mean to continue... Do you really want this to be a measure of who you are or who you are going to be?

Curious_in_Cali said:

Nothing you do to her will repair or even ease what hurts. I respect that you are angry, but there is nothing hot about blatant cruelty painted in deceit... And without her complete consent I am not sure I like this idea being filed under BDSM labels either.

I agree with Meekme that it's time to let go, grieve, and move on. I am a fan of beginning the way that you mean to continue... Do you really want this to be a measure of who you are or who you are going to be?

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You are are so thoughtful.

You're a far better person than me.

anguishINMI said:

< but she will have to live with the fact that she did this >

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And you'll have to live with what you do. Further, engaging in the behavior you suggest will make her grateful she escaped you somewhere down the road.

The two above posts were kind. Your profile says your 34. One of you, at least, should act like an adult.

So what will you do when she says no to being treated like a pet in public and no to signing divorce papers? What will you do when she says no to you shitting in her mouth and no to signing the divorce papers. If she refuses to play your game and refuses to sign your plan doesn't really work.

And you shouldn't do this. They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but in reality the best revenge in a situation like this is a life well lived. Just move on and go find people and relationships that make you happy. If humiliation play is your thing, find someone who is into it and role play out the scenario you described if that makes you feel better or gets you off.

This is so completely masturbation material that I couldn't type anything more obvious if I'd tried, but just for the sake of conversation...

...OP, do you not know anything about divorce? Or how she can take this harebrained idea of yours, should you actually make it a reality, and mop the floor with you in court because of it?

anguishINMI said:

At some point we will take it public and I will tie her up outside of a store while I go in and go shopping.

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Guess you will make in a next "People of Walmart" video

I'm with the other commenters. However angry and betrayed you might be feeling, this isn't the way to deal with it.

Also, as somebody who practices consensual BDSM and is tired of having it labeled as "abuse", I'd really appreciate it if you didn't label this abusive plan as "BDSM" or post it in BDSM forums. How-To is a better place for general break-up advice, though I doubt they'll be any more sympathetic to the approach you've proposed.

Actually, it sounds like an excellent plan to get completely cleaned out in divorce court... IF she filed for divorce (or even if you did) after all your teenage angst ridden vengeance was satiated, her attorney would/ will have an absolute field day with the evidence, in court.

CutieMouse said:

Actually, it sounds like an excellent plan to get completely cleaned out in divorce court... IF she filed for divorce (or even if you did) after all your teenage angst ridden vengeance was satiated, her attorney would/ will have an absolute field day with the evidence, in court.

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So just to make sure I'm clear here: if the OP poops in his wife's mouth while he has her tied up outside a store it might come up in divorce court and ultimately reflect poorly on him in the eyes of the judge? That's a fair point.

OP - Don't be such an attention-seeking plonker

Thank you for the responses and legal advice. To answer one of the questions: No I do not know anything about divorce, I have never been divorced. I will proudly be the first in my family to have to publicly admit that he chose an awful person to be his partner and invested significant time, energy, love and forgone opportunities into someone who I know treats me badly but that everyone else sees as an upstanding person. I am so humiliated by all of this by being such a fool, by not stopping it at some point, by letting her walk all over me that I just want her to experience a moment of what it is like to be me.

Sorry for posting in the BDSM category, I am not super familiar with the lifestyle but based on a cursory search of pictures it seemed like collars and leashes was a somewhat common practice. I realize those ought to be with people who are not just consenting/allowing but actually want that. To answer another question I am of the impression that she does not want a divorce, why would she? She has me she has a boyfriend, why not just keep that life? So I was planning to persuade her to go along with my plan by using that as my trump card, do this or sign that... Though ultimately it is my understanding that I can divorce her without her consent.

I have no idea what a "plonker" and am not going to justify such a worthless response with an urban dictionary search but I am not here seeking attention, it was a plea for help. I probably got better though decidedly different help than I expected but I also did not jump of a bridge and today that feels like a victory.

anguishINMI said:

Thank you for the responses and legal advice. To answer one of the questions: No I do not know anything about divorce, I have never been divorced. I will proudly be the first in my family to have to publicly admit that he chose an awful person to be his partner and invested significant time, energy, love and forgone opportunities into someone who I know treats me badly but that everyone else sees as an upstanding person. I am so humiliated by all of this by being such a fool, by not stopping it at some point, by letting her walk all over me that I just want her to experience a moment of what it is like to be me.

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I can certainly understand being angry if your partner has been cheating on you. But in my experience, the secret to getting over a bad breakup is to reach the point where you do not care whether your ex understands you, whether they feel sorry for what they've done. Until you reach that point, they're not really an ex; they're somebody who lives in your head and causes you pain because you let them stay there.

Five years from now, do you want to be the guy who still talks about his awful evil ex? Or do you want to be the guy who barely thinks about her because he's moved on with his life?

anguishINMI said:

Thank you for the responses and legal advice. To answer one of the questions: No I do not know anything about divorce, I have never been divorced. I will proudly be the first in my family to have to publicly admit that he chose an awful person to be his partner and invested significant time, energy, love and forgone opportunities into someone who I know treats me badly but that everyone else sees as an upstanding person.

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Accepting failures in life with dignity and forgiveness and moving on is a part of growing up into an adult. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes, from small to big, life altering ones.
Perhaps that family whose opinion you care so much about should have taught you that in first place. Or maybe convince you they will love you just the same and not judge you when you do make such mistakes. That is what healthy supportive family would do.

So you invested time, energy and love and it didnt pay off. And now you will invest equal amount of time, energy and hate to get your revenge? I dont know if your wife is such a horrible person, but seeing your attitude here I dont think you are so much better one.

KoPilot said:

This is so completely masturbation material that I couldn't type anything more obvious if I'd tried, but just for the sake of conversation...

...OP, do you not know anything about divorce? Or how she can take this harebrained idea of yours, should you actually make it a reality, and mop the floor with you in court because of it?

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This.

If there's a wife at all, monkeys will fly in swarms from my butt.

And this "horrible revenge" is something ppl pay 250 an hour for, so

If I'm actually planning vengeance and doom upon a person who exists, it's a lot more specific to them than some literotica story plot.

OP - IF she exists, you're going to have to wait your time to make her feel like you do, and there's only one good way. Living well, yes? She will only feel like you do when she sees you somewhere with someone hotter (younger plays well on insecurities) and more successful on your arm, which is not going to happen if you're confusing benign sexy weirdness and feel-bad fucked up angst.

Netzach said:

< If there's a wife at all, monkeys will fly in swarms from my butt. >

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OMG! Laughed so hard I snorted coffee through my nose.

I'm going to be stuck with that visual all day!

anguishINMI said:

Thank you for the responses and legal advice. To answer one of the questions: No I do not know anything about divorce, I have never been divorced.

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You wanna learn about divorce court by making a bunch of embarrassing and costly mistakes while you're there, or do you want to play it smooth and actually like, know what you're doing before you serve her? Because it sounds like you're just begging for the two of you to end up on an episode of Jerry Springer more than anything.

Laughing. Such bullshit.

Conflicted

anguishINMI said:

Thank you for the responses and legal advice. To answer one of the questions: No I do not know anything about divorce, I have never been divorced. I will proudly be the first in my family to have to publicly admit that he chose an awful person to be his partner and invested significant time, energy, love and forgone opportunities into someone who I know treats me badly but that everyone else sees as an upstanding person. I am so humiliated by all of this by being such a fool, by not stopping it at some point, by letting her walk all over me that I just want her to experience a moment of what it is like to be me.

Sorry for posting in the BDSM category, I am not super familiar with the lifestyle but based on a cursory search of pictures it seemed like collars and leashes was a somewhat common practice. I realize those ought to be with people who are not just consenting/allowing but actually want that. To answer another question I am of the impression that she does not want a divorce, why would she? She has me she has a boyfriend, why not just keep that life? So I was planning to persuade her to go along with my plan by using that as my trump card, do this or sign that... Though ultimately it is my understanding that I can divorce her without her consent.

I have no idea what a "plonker" and am not going to justify such a worthless response with an urban dictionary search but I am not here seeking attention, it was a plea for help. I probably got better though decidedly different help than I expected but I also did not jump of a bridge and today that feels like a victory.

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As much as seeing her in a collar might give you brief (I mean very brief) joy the fact is you are hurt, angry and fed up. Allow the collar to be a fantasy and if in three months you still want to have someone in a collar then there are a few on Lit and a few in real life. But do it because you are excited not because you are angry.

And from one person who has been through some of what you have described (divorce) my advice is to take the high road, however you can define that term. I can only imagine how you feel. It sounds horrible but for a moment think about 20 years from now and how you would like to be seen as having handled this situation. In the end you want your family to respect the way you handled yourself...and you will feel better about yourself although the next few months could be very difficult.

We have not heard from her and what is motivating her behavior, any ideas. Does she reveal why she does these things?

Good luck to you. I will watch the thread and see if you post any updates.

I think you need to seek mental guidance, and just get a divorce.

If your not familar with this type of lifestyle, then you don't need to be posting in these fourms.

It sounds more like your in a very abusive relationship. I'm not even hearing her side of the story. It's just a bunch of anger bitterness, and heartace that your experincing, and I think it's time to just sign the paper-work and move on. Yes what you described is a fantasy that some couples experiment with, but without her legal consent, you have no right to be doing that kind of thing. And at the moment i'm sure she's hurting too.

Do you ever stop to wonder what's making her want to cheat on you? I would. It seems like more of what, "She's" doing wrong. Verses what, "Both" of you did wrong.

I personally believe in open-relationships. For this very reason. Which means both of you come to an agreement that your allowed to experiment sexually with other people, under a certain set of rules. That way you can elimanate that cheating aspect out of your relationship.

I could understand if she was cold hearted about it, and she was actually looking for a new lover to ditch you with, and if that is the case, I suggest you stop your BS and be single for awhile until you get some professional help, and work on you.

You don't need to be trolling the BDSM fourms looking for ways to manipulate your wife into staying with you for the millionth time.

Based on what you've said, I can see why she might not want to be faithful to you. Maybe that's not what she wanted in the first place, maybe deep down she just wanted her freedom as a woman to explore her sexuality. But in a society today people slap labels on women and call them whores just because they get horny. To keep them tied down in an unhealthy relationship.

And your best bet is to move on. Don't drag her into your sick fantasies. Move on. Period.

Just because your wife cheats, doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings too.

someone who I know treats me badly but that everyone else sees as an upstanding person.

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This is where your revenge fantasy will backfire on you. NO ONE will see a bitch getting what she deserves-- EVERYONE will see YOU abusing an upstanding person.

And she might be an upstanding person who happens to be polyamorous by nature. There is nothing wrong with that-- what's wrong is that she's a bad match for you. You don't have to accept non-monogamy, but you probably can't force her to be monogamous.

Please, for your own sanity, file for divorce. And get yourself separated as soon as possible, since you're talking about jumping off of bridges and all.

I agree that this is stupid shit. You are going to hell.

This is an interesting idea for a story.

It's a terrible idea for something to actually do in real life.

I'm fairly confident that you're not for real, but just in case you are, I strongly advise against it. Just get a divorce and be adult and dignified about it.