Methods of proper punishment and aftercare ??

FurryFury said:

I don't like punishment. I like discipline. I hate it when my husband asks if I've been a bad girl and need a spanking. Hell no. I've not been a bad girl. I WANT a spanking though and if he wants to do it, let's just call it what we enjoy,how about that?

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My sentiments, exactly. In my world, spankings happen when I want to give one and don't require any additional reason whatsoever. I also don't believe in doing the whole rules-and-punishments thing. That said, I sometimes like to establish short-term rules (i.e., today there will be no use of the word "I" until after we have finished dinner this evening; infractions will be dealt with by periods of complete silence) and the consequences are spelled out in advance. But this is usually more about Fun with Self-Discipline or Fun with Being Unreasonable just because I can.

SassyKatz71 said:

I wouldn't mind that, but not walking around nekkid.Nope

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I think Nude Sunday would be a wonderful task for you to do.
Humiliating. A constant reminder of being submissive.

I thrive on being called a good girl and get really turned on by it. But I do like to be spontaneous at times. So I would find it a turn on to disobey and get punished, by being caned ten times, but the after care would be my Dom putting some soothing lotion on me and rubbing it in gently caressing me.

Sam xx

kalligeneia said:

Aftercare can be anything from cuddles and kisses to the affected area or in general, to applying bruise-reducing ointment, soothing and making a hot, warm drink depending on how far I've gone into subspace.

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I love to lick and kiss the red marks I'm leaving on my sub's skin during cp. I love flogging but also like cropping when I do this. But it's not really what I would call "aftercare." For that, I use some nice lotion and cuddling.

FurryFury said:

I don't like punishment. I like discipline. I hate it when my husband asks if I've been a bad girl and need a spanking. Hell no. I've not been a bad girl. I WANT a spanking though and if he wants to do it, let's just call it what we enjoy,how about that?

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I've rarely ever used physical punishment either, per se. It's more just roleplaying a punishment scenario with me. Example: My sub in a schoolgirl outfit bent over a desk getting her ass paddled bright red. Others are simple, such as asking if he's been a good boy and he says no, which "earns" him a good spanking. Sometimes there isn't even an element of punishment in the scene, like when I have him naked and tied a table to receive a flogging.

But real punishment? I don't like to do that very often but I have. Orgasm denial or denial of other privileges is a favorite form of punishment. I did give a sub a spanking as punishment once. It wasn't even a harsh spanking but it made him cry a little exactly because it was meant as punishment. Normally he would have liked a spanking. We had to talk about that one for a while. And I've decided since then that I'd really prefer to talk things out rather than punish. But I'm not ruling out punishment entirely. I know that some subs need, even crave punishment for their infractions and I can handle that. It's not something I like though.

Interesting, pain may be play in one context, punishment in another.

staciliv said:

Interesting, pain may be play in one context, punishment in another.

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Oh yeah, definitely. One need only read some of the BDSM stories in which a sub/slave is punished by flogging, paddling, etc., to see that it's meant to be hot. Even if the slave in the story is in tears with red marks all across her or his back, trust me, if it seems hot, it was meant to. Many, many subs get off on pain in a play scene, enjoying it as much or more than physical pleasure. For me, that's smokin' hot to roleplay.

Pain used as a real punishment isn't so hot for many though. Oh, I'm aware that there are many subs out there that would want it greatly. And I get off the most when I know that my sub is also getting off on what we're doing. But I'm not so fond on giving real punishment to subs that aren't into that.