dora_salonica
Really Experienced
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- Jun 13, 2014
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And now we will enter the field of D/s through the front door: strength, pleasure, happiness. Here a very real continuum is apparent, a continuum of strength / weakness. The strong attract the weaker and attempt to bring them to their side. They bring them closer to strength, by increasing their strength. They cure them, that is. Even if in the current view of things, the weaker are considered healthy.
Of course this therapeutic dimension that I propose is immensely advantageous from a dialectical point of view, since it does not need to think of the submissive as a sick person. Therapy involves every submissive person, not only those persons who may indeed be mentally ill in the usual meaning of the word.
Increasing the sub's self-knowledge, which is the key to a good D/s relationship, and strengthening thus the sub, is actually the most effective form of therapy in the sense discussed above, as well as in the common use of the word.
I had to stop reading and comment on this section.
In that context, it might be true that some people seek out a BDSM relationship in order to change their own behavior - or help others change - (i.e. help me quit smoking, help me gain self-esteem, help me figure out how to live in the world), but I have not seen much evidence that those relationships are the norm or that they reliably produce the desired behavioral change.
I do know that behavioral change can occur in long-term BDSM relationships, but it is as likely to be negative and damaging as positive and healing.
It is much more important for everyone to take responsibility for themselves, their choices and their actions from the outset.
In the context of a D/s relationship, a phobia could be cured within minutes, provided that the dominant person wanted it.
In my experience, no submissive person realizes that he or she still has a lot of ground to cover. It is usually a shock, when the D/s relationship begins to grapple with important matters, for one to discover that he or she is not as perfect as they thought.
In my opinion, that is a very dangerous, and arrogant attitude to hold. It's also such a brief mention in the writing, that I'm unsure what exactly the author means by the statement.
Well, as a sub, my responsibility is to live in a way that has been shown to me by my Master as the best possible way - for now. Next year, a little better... And then better still... And I am responsible for choosing this type of life every moment. And I am responsible for choosing the right Master for me. And I am responsible for choosing a submissive life. Actions accordingly. Does this sound like an easy irresponsible life? Just because it is a life of submission?
Aside from - or likely because of - the length of the post, its incessant dwelling on "strength" and the conceit that it may be not just possible but even a trivial matter to "cure" some mental illnesses through BDSM "therapy", I'm having a hard time getting past the author's name as Dora gives it - "Master Wrong"?!
An old song lyric keeps running through my head...
Call him Mr. Raider, call him Mr. Wrong
Call him Mr. Vain
Call him Mr. Raider, call him Mr. Wrong
Call him Insane...
Well, thank you very much.
I'm so not going to have that song playing in my head now.
Who is this person who writes these essays and why should we read and consider their opinion more than anyone elses.
What is more, many widely respected scientists, suggest that at some point, let's say point X in time, where life expectancy is Π, the state of science would be such that ν years later, at point Χ+ν, life expectancy would be Π+ν. This means that if we moved point Χ to our era, a person who is 40 years old today has another 40 years of life ahead. But in 30 years time, that person will still be alive and will have another 40 years ahead, because life expectancy will have increased. This means immortality. And indeed, this immortality is described in mathematical terms. The health end along our continuum has disappeared in the distance, and there goes our illustration.
BDSM can be theraputic, but it shouldn't be practiced as therapy. Two very different concepts.
Dominant is presumed male and mentally healthy for the sake of this article. What happens if he's the one who is mentally unwell? We're so concerned about mental health and D/s oh goody.
But we don't even raise the specter of the idea, heaven forfend, that the Master might not always be perfect. And if he isn't well HE can fix HIMSELF or go to a shrink, but she gets her health from osmosis from him.
Nice. What bugs me a lot is that I see men TOTALLY thrown to the winds when it comes to mental health by this kind of thing. Got ADD? Depression? You're not man or master material, you pussy. Crazy is for girls.
A pedantic windbag.
"It is no accident of course that those amazing people, the ancient grecians, saw it right away. And instead of writing about it in lengthy texts, on some papyrus or on a marble stone, they put it inside the word itself. Ασθένεια (illness) = α-σθένος (no-strength). Αρρώστια (disease) = α-ρώμη (no-power)."
^^ lol.
I patiently read through a lot here to find this one nugget . . . .
Thank you, KoPilot.
Wrong. At least, that is the answer given by Master Wrong, the author of the text that follows. This is an excerpt from "The Definitive Guide to BDSM", soon to be available in print.
What is therapy? Evidently it is the process through which someone who is sick becomes healthy. It is the transition from sickness to health. Simple, is it not?
Not quite. In this definition there are two unknown terms which also need a definition: sickness and health. These terms are harder to define. We need to define them in a way that they would be independent of each other (and both independent of therapy), otherwise it is as if we were chasing our own tail. More importantly, our definitions must be inherently consistent and so general as to be valid in all cases.
Although modern medicine has not taken very seriously the task of coming up with an inherently consistent and general definition of sickness and health,
We become aware of our own health only when thing go wrong and only indirectly.
And now we will enter the field of D/s through the front door: strength, pleasure, happiness. Here a very real continuum is apparent, a continuum of strength / weakness. The strong attract the weaker and attempt to bring them to their side. They bring them closer to strength, by increasing their strength. They cure them, that is. Even if in the current view of things, the weaker are considered healthy.
It is very true that the dominant person must have specialized knowledge too, and special skills, in order to have a therapeutic affect on his or her sub (therapeutic in the sense discussed above). And it is true that the dominant person must be prepared to make the effort that is necessary. But are there any serious dominant people who are not like that?
On the issue of emotional distance, the matter is even more simple. I do not believe that there is anyone who would doubt the need for a (sometimes) cold or even frozen look by the dominant, when that is required.
Does this mean that ignorant people are excluded from creating D/s relationships? Certainly yes. Lazy people? Also yes. Hmm... how about those who have so many other personal obligations, which do not allow them to make the effort? Well, what can you do? Aristotle excluded from politics people who worked for a living, for the exact same reason.
Besides, all those people usually prefer vanilla/kinky behaviors anyway, so they will be fine with that.
And what happens if a dominant person is in a relationship with a sub who suddenly becomes sick? Should dominants attempt to cure the sub on their own? How do you cure a psychosis in D/s?
It is perfectly clear that the dominant person does not have to do that himself or herself. Therapy will be carried out with medicine given by a doctor who is more specialized than the dominant,
to whom the dominant will send the sub whether he/she likes it or not. By ordering the sub the dominant helps him/her to overcome the greatest obstacle to being cured, which is the refusal to see a specialist.
I have refrained from discussing less important mental illnesses, according to their classification, such as phobias, anxiety, frigidity etc (that would be like stealing food from a baby's mouth).
In the context of a D/s relationship, a phobia could be cured within minutes, provided that the dominant person wanted it.
BDSM can be theraputic, but it shouldn't be practiced as therapy. Two very different concepts.
I keep trying to read this and getting completely lost in the "logic."
All I can really get out of it is something I already knew--every hard dick wants to play Captain Save-A-Ho as long as it's not too inconvenient for him, his ego, or his hard-on.
As someone who has been--and I suppose still is, since it's not as though these things just go away--severely mentally ill, it's pretty obvious the author knows jack shit about mental illness. He's welcome to his own delusions, I guess, but the suggestion that somebody else's control kink is somehow a substitute for professional help is dangerous and no more credible than the people who say all you need to do to get better is to exercise/do yoga/stop feeling sorry for yourself/find Jesus/whatever. Ill people have enough obstacles to getting the proper help; the last thing they need is more of that sort of bullshit.
My recent favorite is when my dad got it into his head that the root of everyone's ills is that we're all breathing the wrong way. Of course, being Enlightened, he knows the correct way to put oxygen in your lungs. Not that it's fixed his Petty Asshole Syndrome.
Yep. And about seventeen intersections of nope right around the bend.Dominant is presumed male and mentally healthy for the sake of this article. What happens if he's the one who is mentally unwell? We're so concerned about mental health and D/s oh goody.
But we don't even raise the specter of the idea, heaven forfend, that the Master might not always be perfect. And if he isn't well HE can fix HIMSELF or go to a shrink, but she gets her health from osmosis from him.
Nice. What bugs me a lot is that I see men TOTALLY thrown to the winds when it comes to mental health by this kind of thing. Got ADD? Depression? You're not man or master material, you pussy. Crazy is for girls.
Call him Mr. Raider, call him Mr. Wrong
Call him Mr. Vain
Call him Mr. Raider, call him Mr. Wrong
Call him Insane...