dora_salonica
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2014
- Posts
- 106
Thank you all for your contribution to this thread. (I am sorry for the delay in answering but I was away...)
The article does not voice my opinions, but the author's opinions. I merely translated it.
I am neither a Domme, nor a therapist. I found the article extremely interesting, and in fact I gave it as a gift to my daughter who is doing her thesis for a degree in Psychology. She said she will use it, as it is the most refreshing thing she has read in all four years of College. Her words, not mine. But she is still young, only 21, maybe she does not know what she is talking about...
This is what the article says too.
Does it standardize health or illness?
Does it standardize health or illness?
The argument of the article, as far as I see it, is that we pay attention to illness and not to health. And we do not understand that we are dealing with less strength than the strength we could have, each individual as an individual. We are looking for diseases, when we should be looking at the optimal self we could be.
Do they measure health or strength? You see that if you start thinking logically, you come back to the argument.
I am sure that no one here said things like that. I would have objected very seriously.
Again, I think a case has been made that we are discussing some situations here that are not a run-of-the-mill thing.
Indeed, no Dom/Domme would attempt to cure a serious mental illness, such as a psychosis, as mentioned already in the article. That is work for a therapist.
But would a Dom/Domme strive to strengthen the sub, as part of his/her "job description"?
If not, what does a Dom/Domme do when he/she engages in D/s?
It is true that he was mistaken in that. He got the other part right, though. Politicians do not have regular jobs, even today.
I think - and please correct me if I am wrong - that D/s needs some serious time investment. If one cannot spare the time, one cannot engage in D/s. One can do vanilla/kink though. Or S/M. Why not? Every Friday night for example...<smiles>
It depends on why you go to a therapist. If you go to a therapist in order to discover your inner strength, you will most likely end up... like Woody Allen. Lol.
Of course. Truly crippling and then some... I must admit though that I no longer suffer from frigidity or anxiety and the drinking problem is under control. I still have a thing with spiders though, but I wanted to keep that, because it reminds me of my mother...
It's pretty glaringly obvious that this guy you quoted (where are your own opinions on these matters, DS? why always turning to some perceived authority on the matter?) does not struggle with mental illness, and by extension, neither do you, DS, otherwise you'd probably know better.
The article does not voice my opinions, but the author's opinions. I merely translated it.
I am neither a Domme, nor a therapist. I found the article extremely interesting, and in fact I gave it as a gift to my daughter who is doing her thesis for a degree in Psychology. She said she will use it, as it is the most refreshing thing she has read in all four years of College. Her words, not mine. But she is still young, only 21, maybe she does not know what she is talking about...
BDSM can be theraputic, but it shouldn't be practiced as therapy. Two very different concepts.
This is what the article says too.
And what happens if a dominant person is in a relationship with a sub who suddenly becomes sick? Should dominants attempt to cure the sub on their own? How do you cure a psychosis in D/s?
It is perfectly clear that the dominant person does not have to do that himself or herself. Therapy will be carried out with medicine given by a doctor who is more specialized than the dominant, to whom the dominant will send the sub whether he/she likes it or not.
Um... yes, they have. There's been a great deal of work on things like the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which aims to standardise diagnosis of mental health conditions.
Does it standardize health or illness?
There's also the WHO's ICD, now in its tenth edition, which covers both mental and physical health.
Does it standardize health or illness?
The argument of the article, as far as I see it, is that we pay attention to illness and not to health. And we do not understand that we are dealing with less strength than the strength we could have, each individual as an individual. We are looking for diseases, when we should be looking at the optimal self we could be.
True of some of us (me included) but certainly not all. Athletes pay a lot of attention to positive measures of health as well as negative ones - how much they can lift, how quickly they can run a mile, etc etc.
Do they measure health or strength? You see that if you start thinking logically, you come back to the argument.
Somewhere along the way we seem to have fallen into the assumption that "strength" is a unidimensional attribute: that the "strength" that makes DomlyDom McMasterful a good dom is the same "strength" that a bipolar person needs to stabilise their mental state, or that an autistic person needs to become better at interpreting other people's emotions.
I am sure that no one here said things like that. I would have objected very seriously.
We're also assuming that a person who has this "strength" themselves is capable of communicating it to others.
Again, I think a case has been made that we are discussing some situations here that are not a run-of-the-mill thing.
I engage in BDSM with my lovers. I take an interest in psychology, but I haven't put myself through the training required to be a competent professional counsellor, so I don't consider that I have the skills required to practice as a therapist. I don't think most other PYLs do either, even if they've read a shelfload of pop-psych books.
Indeed, no Dom/Domme would attempt to cure a serious mental illness, such as a psychosis, as mentioned already in the article. That is work for a therapist.
But would a Dom/Domme strive to strengthen the sub, as part of his/her "job description"?
If not, what does a Dom/Domme do when he/she engages in D/s?
Aristotle also believed that women had fewer teeth than men and that flies arose spontaneously from spoiled meat.
It is true that he was mistaken in that. He got the other part right, though. Politicians do not have regular jobs, even today.
Where the hell does DomlyDom get the idea that busy people don't want to be doms? Being time-poor is often driven more by economic circumstances than by any psychological preference.
I think - and please correct me if I am wrong - that D/s needs some serious time investment. If one cannot spare the time, one cannot engage in D/s. One can do vanilla/kink though. Or S/M. Why not? Every Friday night for example...<smiles>
I'm glad to see this said, but it runs directly contrary to the opening of this essay: "If someone needs therapy, well they should go to a therapist. Right? Wrong."
It depends on why you go to a therapist. If you go to a therapist in order to discover your inner strength, you will most likely end up... like Woody Allen. Lol.
...um, we are aware that phobias and anxiety can be crippling, right? And that "frigidity" (sic) can cause immense difficulties in a relationship?
Of course. Truly crippling and then some... I must admit though that I no longer suffer from frigidity or anxiety and the drinking problem is under control. I still have a thing with spiders though, but I wanted to keep that, because it reminds me of my mother...