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Old 11-13-2017, 05:30 PM   #601
newhere2learn
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Originally Posted by OpenMouth View Post
My wife cums every time we have sex; sounds impressive, but that is about every 2 to 3 months when she's horny enough to let her guard down. Poor woman is constantly stressed despite my efforts.

I'm blessed (or cursed) with a powerful memory and can remember the life we once had. I cry about it sometimes.


2 or 3 months?


Show off! :P


2 years here
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Old 11-13-2017, 09:24 PM   #602
cuckoldbob
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Last edited by cuckoldbob : 11-14-2017 at 10:35 AM.
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Old 11-13-2017, 09:40 PM   #603
policywank
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SquirtnBrat View Post
Thank you so much for your well thought out responces and good advice!
I haven't realized how passive aggressive my statements have been. Here I was thinking it came off as playful but I could really be hurting his ego. Which is probably why I am in this situation. I used to be really forward. But I felt like he was put off by it so yes, now I am very passive aggressive. I really need to work on that.
He couldn't care less if I orgasm or not. Which is a shame because I can cum multiple times during sex. And have done so with him many a times. When it comes to kiss me here, touch me there, talk filthy to me... Sometimes he will be game, a very rare sometimes. Which makes me believe my sexual needs are extremely low on his priority list... If there at all.
He seems to think sex is a young person's game. He has told me numerous times "you just want to act like your 20 when you have real responsibilities".... I don't lnow exactly what that means. I have a very vivid imagination and there are tons of kinky stuff I haven't tried yet. Ideally I want to try those things with him! But we can't even talk about the vanilla stuff that needs improvement. I don't know how to even begin to approach that conversation.
Again thank you for your responses.

It doesn't matter what your approach to communication is if your partner isn't listening. You need to pry open his mind before you can achieve anything.

Start with that neutral ground conversation where you state clearly that you want to talk about something that is weighing on your mind. Be serious, direct and respectful. Describe your feelings about the situation in clear direct language - no drama of any kind. State simply that you do not believe that your perspective on your sex life is being adequately recognized and respected.

Then state that you have thought about it and wrestled diligently with your own feelings. Your feelings are valid because that is how you really feel. They are not more valid than his. You just want to have a conversation where you can both be heard without trying to validate your own and invalidate the other's perspective.

Only when you have that acknowledgement can you begin to discuss the issues. Based upon what you wrote here two things resonated with me: 1) he has the capacity to bring you sexual satisfaction and is choosing not to do so; 2) you know that you have made mistakes along the way as well.

Don't try to be right. Don't try to win. Just appeal to the man you love, to listen to how you feel and make sure what you describe is a balanced message.

This is not a sure fire approach. It is intended to force him to look at his own behaviour, strip away any excuses for his behaviour and compel him to see your perspective. If he is an insensitive boor who doesn't care about your pleasure this won't change him. But at least than you know what you are dealing with.
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:09 PM   #604
l777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OpenMouth View Post
My wife cums every time we have sex; sounds impressive, but that is about every 2 to 3 months when she's horny enough to let her guard down. Poor woman is constantly stressed despite my efforts.

.
......
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Last edited by l777 : 11-14-2017 at 06:10 PM. Reason: oops
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:57 PM   #605
ssremember129
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Quote:
Originally Posted by policywank View Post
It doesn't matter what your approach to communication is if your partner isn't listening. You need to pry open his mind before you can achieve anything.

Start with that neutral ground conversation where you state clearly that you want to talk about something that is weighing on your mind. Be serious, direct and respectful. Describe your feelings about the situation in clear direct language - no drama of any kind. State simply that you do not believe that your perspective on your sex life is being adequately recognized and respected.

Then state that you have thought about it and wrestled diligently with your own feelings. Your feelings are valid because that is how you really feel. They are not more valid than his. You just want to have a conversation where you can both be heard without trying to validate your own and invalidate the other's perspective.

Only when you have that acknowledgement can you begin to discuss the issues. Based upon what you wrote here two things resonated with me: 1) he has the capacity to bring you sexual satisfaction and is choosing not to do so; 2) you know that you have made mistakes along the way as well.

Don't try to be right. Don't try to win. Just appeal to the man you love, to listen to how you feel and make sure what you describe is a balanced message.

This is not a sure fire approach. It is intended to force him to look at his own behaviour, strip away any excuses for his behaviour and compel him to see your perspective. If he is an insensitive boor who doesn't care about your pleasure this won't change him. But at least than you know what you are dealing with.
Definitely agree with the communication. No matter how serious, funny or light the discussion about desires, sexuality or any other topic that involves the body or mind, it's off limits. Doesn't do much good when you want to talk on their schedule and they either don't want to or tune u out...
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