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Alternate punishments for the pain lover

A

ADevilishAngel

Really Experienced
Joined
Jan 11, 2015
Posts
103
My bf, and I plan to write up a Domestic Discipline contract in the coming week. I've looked through lots of blogs searching for fitting punishments, but I need a little help.

I enjoy pain very much so a spanking doesn't really do anything but excite me. Can anyone give me some ideas or a good place to look?

Corner time, sentence writing, time outs, are not something I think would be useful, for me. It seems like DDlg type things are really easy to find and I just don't identify myself as a little. I'm not sure about humiliation as a punishment either.

Any advice you can share would be welcomed. Thank you all. :)
 
Need a bit more insight into exactly what type of thing works/has worked for you before I'd make any suggestions. Limits? Threshold?

Humiliation can be incorporated into just about anything, adds that wonderful pschological edge that can turn something like a simple spanking or " basic " things clothes pins/clamps into something else, don't discount it.
 
Punishments should fit the "crime" so to speak.

Are you trying to write punishments into the contract? That seems to "one size fits all."

Omg, I'm on fire with the "quotes" today.

Ok. Just some examples.... they may or may not be from experience :rolleyes:

Spent too much time on computer or phone, so that is taken away.

Always late, so made to put hand on door 15 minutes before leaving and wait for permission to leave.

Made a disrespectful comment about the fact he stunk up the bathroom, "gee thanks a lot" -- ordered to suck his cock as he went for the next week. If that wasnt hid preference, just had to sit at his feet.

Trying to eat healthy.... went off plan. He told me to get naked, lie back... he had a surprise for me. Came in room, told me to close eyes, open mouth. He then fed me oreo cookies, about 5. He asked me a lot of questions and I had to answer with this dry, crumbly oreo filled mouth.

Trying to quit chewing gum... kept chewing gum. Ordered to wear on my nose at home until I really didn't like gum.

Bought new shoes without permission. Had to wear odd looking boots with a dress to work. (It wasn't so odd he put me in a difficult position at work. I was just really sekf conscious)

Other randoms;

Put your fingertips on nose, elbows out, hold position for x amt of minutes.

Made to expose asshole or pussy in a lewd way for x amount of minutes

Eat something you dont like

Hold a dime with your nose to the wall

Clothespin on your tongue, now say you're sorry 50 times.

Ummm. I could go on. I dont want to give anyone the impression I was an insolent hot mess of a sub... :rolleyes:

You mention some of the punishments feel DD/lg. In my mind, some should make you feel small and childish. You did something wrong. You disobeyed a rule.

As a side note, just to throw it out there... punishment is different than discipline.

Punishment is an action taken as a consequence of breaking a rule. Discipline is just because. Not random butaction taken to reinforce your role or your place to him.

I can see discipline being written into a contract (ie, you will meditate on keeping your holes open and available to him at all times for 15 min each morning. Preferably as you stare at a pic of his cock. Hole insoections wiil take place atleast once a day.)

Well this took me down memory lane. Hope you guys have fun with it!!
 
_Necrosomantic_ said:
Need a bit more insight into exactly what type of thing works/has worked for you before I'd make any suggestions. Limits? Threshold?

Humiliation can be incorporated into just about anything, adds that wonderful pschological edge that can turn something like a simple spanking or " basic " things clothes pins/clamps into something else, don't discount it.
Click to expand...

I've never been truly punished, so I can't say there is anything that has worked because it's too new.
 
cookiecat said:
Punishments should fit the "crime" so to speak.

Are you trying to write punishments into the contract? That seems to "one size fits all."

Omg, I'm on fire with the "quotes" today.

Ok. Just some examples.... they may or may not be from experience :rolleyes:

Spent too much time on computer or phone, so that is taken away.

Always late, so made to put hand on door 15 minutes before leaving and wait for permission to leave.

Made a disrespectful comment about the fact he stunk up the bathroom, "gee thanks a lot" -- ordered to suck his cock as he went for the next week. If that wasnt hid preference, just had to sit at his feet.

Trying to eat healthy.... went off plan. He told me to get naked, lie back... he had a surprise for me. Came in room, told me to close eyes, open mouth. He then fed me oreo cookies, about 5. He asked me a lot of questions and I had to answer with this dry, crumbly oreo filled mouth.

Trying to quit chewing gum... kept chewing gum. Ordered to wear on my nose at home until I really didn't like gum.

Bought new shoes without permission. Had to wear odd looking boots with a dress to work. (It wasn't so odd he put me in a difficult position at work. I was just really sekf conscious)

Other randoms;

Put your fingertips on nose, elbows out, hold position for x amt of minutes.

Made to expose asshole or pussy in a lewd way for x amount of minutes

Eat something you dont like

Hold a dime with your nose to the wall

Clothespin on your tongue, now say you're sorry 50 times.

Ummm. I could go on. I dont want to give anyone the impression I was an insolent hot mess of a sub... :rolleyes:

You mention some of the punishments feel DD/lg. In my mind, some should make you feel small and childish. You did something wrong. You disobeyed a rule.

As a side note, just to throw it out there... punishment is different than discipline.

Punishment is an action taken as a consequence of breaking a rule. Discipline is just because. Not random butaction taken to reinforce your role or your place to him.

I can see discipline being written into a contract (ie, you will meditate on keeping your holes open and available to him at all times for 15 min each morning. Preferably as you stare at a pic of his cock. Hole insoections wiil take place atleast once a day.)

Well this took me down memory lane. Hope you guys have fun with it!!
Click to expand...

There are some great ideas in here. I hadn't really thought about the difference between discipline and punishment, so thank you for putting that in there.

I think what we are looking for is a punishment list, something we can easily go to to pick a punishment that fits the crime. Something we can both agree on before hand.
 
ADevilishAngel said:
There are some great ideas in here. I hadn't really thought about the difference between discipline and punishment, so thank you for putting that in there.

I think what we are looking for is a punishment list, something we can easily go to to pick a punishment that fits the crime. Something we can both agree on before hand.
Click to expand...

What are some the the things you guys have in mind, so far??
 
For me, punishments tend to be the opposite of what I enjoy. Coffee denial and orgasm denial are the two that are most effective.
 
malefica said:
For me, punishments tend to be the opposite of what I enjoy. Coffee denial and orgasm denial are the two that are most effective.
Click to expand...

haha! coffee denial.

That's exactly the point though. Take away something you love. Or do something you don't love.
 
ADevilishAngel said:
I agree. Don't touch my coffee. Orgasm denial doesn't do much for me either. I can go days with out Cumming. Quite adept at turning myself off sexually.
Click to expand...

I like the idea that there is something other than sexual we can tease and arouse are interests with.....especially if it is done outside the bedroom
 
ADevilishAngel said:
My bf, and I plan to write up a Domestic Discipline contract in the coming week. I've looked through lots of blogs searching for fitting punishments, but I need a little help.

I enjoy pain very much so a spanking doesn't really do anything but excite me. Can anyone give me some ideas or a good place to look?

Corner time, sentence writing, time outs, are not something I think would be useful, for me. It seems like DDlg type things are really easy to find and I just don't identify myself as a little. I'm not sure about humiliation as a punishment either.

Any advice you can share would be welcomed. Thank you all. :)
Click to expand...

ADevilishAngel said:
I've never been truly punished, so I can't say there is anything that has worked because it's too new.
Click to expand...

ADevilishAngel said:
There are some great ideas in here. I hadn't really thought about the difference between discipline and punishment, so thank you for putting that in there.

I think what we are looking for is a punishment list, something we can easily go to to pick a punishment that fits the crime. Something we can both agree on before hand.
Click to expand...

Serious question -

Why does punishment need to be part of the dynamic?
Are y'all planning to create "rules" that are difficult to follow?
Are you planning on not following the rules?
Do you feel incapable of following the rules you agree to?
What's wrong with getting a spanking just because you enjoy it, and it reminds you he's in charge?

I ask because my understanding of Domestic Discipline relationships, is that (more often than not) spanking/etc isn't used as "punishment"so much as "maintenance" to help both parties keep the power imbalance an active part of the relationship.

If y'all are really keen on having a punishment dynamic and that's important to you, rock on. My advice would be to research behavior modification techniques and discipline techniques (parenting books/blogs could be good resources, even though you don't ID as a little). But research will show you reward systems are more effective than punishment, and natural consequences can solve a lot of issues.
 
cookiecat said:
Punishments should fit the "crime" so to speak.

Are you trying to write punishments into the contract? That seems to "one size fits all."

Omg, I'm on fire with the "quotes" today.

Ok. Just some examples.... they may or may not be from experience :rolleyes:

Spent too much time on computer or phone, so that is taken away.

Always late, so made to put hand on door 15 minutes before leaving and wait for permission to leave.

Made a disrespectful comment about the fact he stunk up the bathroom, "gee thanks a lot" -- ordered to suck his cock as he went for the next week. If that wasnt hid preference, just had to sit at his feet.

Trying to eat healthy.... went off plan. He told me to get naked, lie back... he had a surprise for me. Came in room, told me to close eyes, open mouth. He then fed me oreo cookies, about 5. He asked me a lot of questions and I had to answer with this dry, crumbly oreo filled mouth.

Trying to quit chewing gum... kept chewing gum. Ordered to wear on my nose at home until I really didn't like gum.

Bought new shoes without permission. Had to wear odd looking boots with a dress to work. (It wasn't so odd he put me in a difficult position at work. I was just really sekf conscious)

Other randoms;

Put your fingertips on nose, elbows out, hold position for x amt of minutes.

Made to expose asshole or pussy in a lewd way for x amount of minutes

Eat something you dont like

Hold a dime with your nose to the wall

Clothespin on your tongue, now say you're sorry 50 times.

Ummm. I could go on. I dont want to give anyone the impression I was an insolent hot mess of a sub... :rolleyes:

You mention some of the punishments feel DD/lg. In my mind, some should make you feel small and childish. You did something wrong. You disobeyed a rule.

As a side note, just to throw it out there... punishment is different than discipline.

Punishment is an action taken as a consequence of breaking a rule. Discipline is just because. Not random butaction taken to reinforce your role or your place to him.

I can see discipline being written into a contract (ie, you will meditate on keeping your holes open and available to him at all times for 15 min each morning. Preferably as you stare at a pic of his cock. Hole insoections wiil take place atleast once a day.)

Well this took me down memory lane. Hope you guys have fun with it!!
Click to expand...

Those are some interesting and creative punishments.
 
You say spanking does nothing for you, what about other applications of pain,

Fisted push-ups on uncooked rice.

Close bondage

Caged

Tickled till humiliated

Ice

Heat

Made to write lines like in school, by hand

Having to wear a plug and or clamps in public, while scantily clad.

All depends on your kink.
 
There are alternative punishments for silly/minor infractions, Sir has made me eat 1/2 half of a local restaurants huge, double chocolate cake (I have an under-eating disorder) I threw up after a eating a quarter of it, so I had to start over :(.

For real rule violations, there are punishments that go far beyond the level of enjoyable pain. One of those stun guns applied to delicate areas will help you to get your mind right.
 
Kim_Burly said:
There are alternative punishments for silly/minor infractions, Sir has made me eat 1/2 half of a local restaurants huge, double chocolate cake (I have an under-eating disorder) I threw up after a eating a quarter of it, so I had to start over :(.

For real rule violations, there are punishments that go far beyond the level of enjoyable pain. One of those stun guns applied to delicate areas will help you to get your mind right.
Click to expand...

I'm trying to get over you throwing up and being made to keep eating when you have an eating disorder. :mad:

Plus... stun gun?? :mad::mad:

I don't know your story or your dynamic so it's unfair for me to be super judgey... I'm just going by what I'm reading here.

----------------------------------------------

Wondering if the OP made any progress with the list!?
 
Last edited:
cookiecat said:
I'm trying to get over you throwing up and being made to keep eating when you have an eating disorder. :mad:

Plus... stun gun?? :mad::mad:

I don't know your story or your dynamic so it's unfair for me to be super judgey... I'm just going by what I'm reading here.

----------------------------------------------

Wondering if the OP made any progress with the list!?
Click to expand...

I have to agree with Cookie, I mean if it's your Kink it's your kink, but damn that's extreme. I mean we use stun guns in the field to kill pain and cauterize wounds, so on anything sensitive...
 
I'll admit that we are on the not in the center of the S&M continuum, but it is working great for us. Before we were married, Sir showed me videos of him and his ex-wife engaged is some very seriously, kinky S&M and I wondered if I would ever be in that place, and now I am.

Also, Even though I have the best of intentions I can be very recalcitrant at times. My lust for pain makes me difficult to punish and alternative punishments are no longer effective. I make the decision to do the behavior that gets me the stun gun to the naughty bits. Besides, that .00001% of the time makes the remainder of the time even better :cattail:.


cookiecat said:
I'm trying to get over you throwing up and being made to keep eating when you have an eating disorder. :mad:

Plus... stun gun?? :mad::mad:

I don't know your story or your dynamic so it's unfair for me to be super judgey... I'm just going by what I'm reading here.

----------------------------------------------

Wondering if the OP made any progress with the list!?
Click to expand...
 
Kim_Burly said:
I'll admit that we are on the not in the center of the S&M continuum, but it is working great for us. Before we were married, Sir showed me videos of him and his ex-wife engaged is some very seriously, kinky S&M and I wondered if I would ever be in that place, and now I am.

Also, Even though I have the best of intentions I can be very recalcitrant at times. My lust for pain makes me difficult to punish and alternative punishments are no longer effective. I make the decision to do the behavior that gets me the stun gun to the naughty bits. Besides, that .00001% of the time makes the remainder of the time even better :cattail:.
Click to expand...

Thanks for responding. I appreciate you didn't take my comments as judgemental (even though they were a little...).

It sounds like this works for you guys! :)
 
Yes, it's very easy to be mean, judgemental and cruel on the internet and social media. I just went and apologized in a thread where I was judgemental. It's all good.

Yes, I am in a place in my life that I never imagined I would be, it has exceeded my wildest fantasies (I realize now that my old fantasies were pretty lame). At the same time, things aren't perfect, we hit a major bump a year ago, and because of our roles, it was very hard on me, but we got through it.

I want/need to submit and if He does not keep me on a short leash (literally & figuratively ;)) I start going off the rails. Sir does not shy away from his responsibilities as my Dom. We are a very good match but we both have a couple of bad habits we need to change.

One last note, the chocolate cake thing was an alternative punishment and it pains me to admit it, but it did work. I'll never tell him that, but He knows, that sanctimonious SOB :rolleyes:.

cookiecat said:
Thanks for responding. I appreciate you didn't take my comments as judgemental (even though they were a little...).

It sounds like this works for you guys! :)
Click to expand...
 
I know you said you're into pain, but we all have our limits so that's where I'd go first. Things like kneeling on uncooked rice, whipping, knife play. Even being taken to your limit is a hell of a punishment. I mean pain is always easier to take when it's sexual but if you're talking day-to-day punishment then stuff you take easily during scenes might be much harder out of them.
Apart from that, non-painful punishments can be creative as you want. Maybe you're forced to take part in a fetish your Dom likes but you hate? Or have to do something that grosses you out. If you're not into DDlg stuff maybe being treated as a little would be punishment?

I think good punishments are pretty damn hard to plan, so good luck!


ADevilishAngel said:
My bf, and I plan to write up a Domestic Discipline contract in the coming week. I've looked through lots of blogs searching for fitting punishments, but I need a little help.

I enjoy pain very much so a spanking doesn't really do anything but excite me. Can anyone give me some ideas or a good place to look?

Corner time, sentence writing, time outs, are not something I think would be useful, for me. It seems like DDlg type things are really easy to find and I just don't identify myself as a little. I'm not sure about humiliation as a punishment either.

Any advice you can share would be welcomed. Thank you all. :)
Click to expand...
 
CutieMouse said:
Serious question -

Why does punishment need to be part of the dynamic?
Are y'all planning to create "rules" that are difficult to follow?
Are you planning on not following the rules?
Do you feel incapable of following the rules you agree to?
What's wrong with getting a spanking just because you enjoy it, and it reminds you he's in charge?

I ask because my understanding of Domestic Discipline relationships, is that (more often than not) spanking/etc isn't used as "punishment"so much as "maintenance" to help both parties keep the power imbalance an active part of the relationship.

If y'all are really keen on having a punishment dynamic and that's important to you, rock on. My advice would be to research behavior modification techniques and discipline techniques (parenting books/blogs could be good resources, even though you don't ID as a little). But research will show you reward systems are more effective than punishment, and natural consequences can solve a lot of issues.
Click to expand...



As a fellow newbie - thank you for pointing this out. You're questions/statement have been a revelation for me as I try to find my first foot steps into this space..
 
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