Litiquette IV

RacyRedLips said:

On second thought ....

I didn't realize I'd be going up against Suz_anne.

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Be careful. She's a dick puncher.

It's early spring. Signs are everywhere, crocus, tulips, robins, green grass. Spring will not be denied and we are thankful for that. But what about that same trait in a person. The "I won't be denied" trait. Is that such a good trait? Something at all costs? No matter what? Is this a trait you want in a partner or friend, do you some that can't take no for an answer? While we admire that approach in business it's a crime in relationships. Why do we accept it in some situations?

ChainedUp said:

It's early spring. Signs are everywhere, crocus, tulips, robins, green grass. Spring will not be denied and we are thankful for that. But what about that same trait in a person. The "I won't be denied" trait. Is that such a good trait? Something at all costs? No matter what? Is this a trait you want in a partner or friend, do you some that can't take no for an answer? While we admire that approach in business it's a crime in relationships. Why do we accept it in some situations?

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lol.. I don't admire it in business either. (consider the stereotypical used car salesman) In general, I think that we only like that trait when it works to our advantage, even in relationships.
The thing about spring flowers is that they want nothing in return. The rise through the dread of winter with a hopeful humility that lives without expectation. Then, as their leaves wither and the blossoms begin to sage, they fade away and bury themselves in the earth until another warm day because hope springs eternal. Is that really what you want from your woman?

ChainedUp said:

It's early spring. Signs are everywhere, crocus, tulips, robins, green grass. Spring will not be denied and we are thankful for that. But what about that same trait in a person. The "I won't be denied" trait. Is that such a good trait? Something at all costs? No matter what? Is this a trait you want in a partner or friend, do you some that can't take no for an answer? While we admire that approach in business it's a crime in relationships. Why do we accept it in some situations?

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I don't appreciate this 'trait' at all. People who bulldozer through life with only their own wishes in mind tend to overrun people crossing their paths.

In business as in private life better ideas as theirs get lost due to their 'bulldozering', 'compromises' are always to their benefit, they lack empathy, mask their egoism by saying they are confident, and so on.

Why do we accept it in some situations? Sometimes they do have the better idea, better solution or we have to obey because we are to low in the hierarchy, or we are worn out and don't have the strength for yet another fight. Or we simply love them.

dutchrain said:

I don't appreciate this 'trait' at all. People who bulldozer through life with only their own wishes in mind tend to overrun people crossing their paths.

In business as in private life better ideas as theirs get lost due to their 'bulldozering', 'compromises' are always to their benefit, they lack empathy, mask their egoism by saying they are confident, and so on.

Why do we accept it in some situations? Sometimes they do have the better idea, better solution or we have to obey because we are to low in the hierarchy, or we are worn out and don't have the strength for yet another fight. Or we simply love them.

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Absolutely this. Not being willing to compromise or hear the other person is unattractive in any surroundings. To me, it demonstrates low emotional intelligence.

NorthRockJohnson said:

I was once asked in an interview and the guy asked "Sorry, I gotta ask this...if you were an animal what kind of animal would you be and why?"

I immediately shot back with "I'd be a bald eagle. Because when I take off I FLY."

I didn't get the job and the place closed down a few months later.

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It'd be a lion for me. If I was placed under the sorting hat I'd be in Gryffindor house.

Wife of Bath said:

I interviewed someone recently and asked the animal question. He said he would be a snake.

I did not recommend him for the position.

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Good call. Snakes & snake like people are deeply envious, most often for no reason & can cause all sorts of damage.

This...

ChainedUp said:

The "I won't be denied" trait. Is that such a good trait? Something at all costs? No matter what? Is this a trait you want in a partner or friend, do you some that can't take no for an answer?

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…makes me think of this.


And that's never a good look - in either personal or professional relationships

lovetopleasewomen said:

It'd be a lion for me. If I was placed under the sorting hat I'd be in Gryffindor house.



Good call. Snakes & snake like people are deeply envious, most often for no reason & can cause all sorts of damage.

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it depends on perspective. If you study tribal medicines, snake medicine is often a rare and desired trait. These are the people who readily accept change and do not judge position as the highest reason that a person holds value. They tend to seek continuous improvement. Only in a negative context would this answer have indicated a reluctance to change.
That being said, maybe the guy watched the new Jungle Book trailer in the interview and really had nothing else on his brain. The snake is pretty powerful in that movie.. lol

Persistence is good. Stepping over people to get what you want is bad. I don't like that.

GiggLeGasm said:

it depends on perspective. If you study tribal medicines, snake medicine is often a rare and desired trait. These are the people who readily accept change and do not judge position as the highest reason that a person holds value. They tend to seek continuous improvement. Only in a negative context would this answer have indicated a reluctance to change.
That being said, maybe the guy watched the new Jungle Book trailer in the interview and really had nothing else on his brain. The snake is pretty powerful in that movie.. lol

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Medicine is one thing. That's an example of making lemonade with lemons. Making a negative into a positive. Someone with great knowledge & skill can do the same with plant toxins such as belladonna & even datura.

What I speak to is the character of an entity. What is the cause of a snakes venom? What is the character of a creature that is capable of injecting poison before it has hatched from it's egg? What is the character of a creature that can spit it's poison into the eyes of someone or something that is "perceived" as a threat? What is the character of a person who would willfully betray another who supported, protected & stood up for them? Why is the creature that enticed Eve to go against the Lord's wishes & eat the apple depicted as a serpent? What not a wittle puddy tat or a wascally wabbit, critters that don't inspire feelings of loathing?

Why did I even get into this?

Lord Pmann said:

Persistence is good. Stepping over people to get what you want is bad. I don't like that.

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I agree that persistence is good but isn't there a line where it just becomes annoying? That mosquito buzzing you, that dude is persistent but yet annoying as hell.

lovetopleasewomen said:

Medicine is one thing. That's an example of making lemonade with lemons. Making a negative into a positive. Someone with great knowledge & skill can do the same with plant toxins such as belladonna & even datura.

What I speak to is the character of an entity. What is the cause of a snakes venom? What is the character of a creature that is capable of injecting poison before it has hatched from it's egg? What is the character of a creature that can spit it's poison into the eyes of someone or something that is "perceived" as a threat? What is the character of a person who would willfully betray another who supported, protected & stood up for them? Why is the creature that enticed Eve to go against the Lord's wishes & eat the apple depicted as a serpent? What not a wittle puddy tat or a wascally wabbit, critters that don't inspire feelings of loathing?

Why did I even get into this?

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lol.. I was discussing spirit animals.. that was the original question!

GiggLeGasm said:

lol.. I was discussing spirit animals.. that was the original question!

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Ah! Missed it then. I guess that'll learn me to next time read your mind instead of your post.

ChainedUp said:

It's early spring. Signs are everywhere, crocus, tulips, robins, green grass. Spring will not be denied and we are thankful for that.

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I'm thankful for spring but not so much for the robins and other little birds who built their nests in two overly large bushes outside my bedroom window. It sounds like an aviary, more so this year because we had a mild winter.

Every year, I say I'm going to remove those damn bushes, but then I see one or two fat lady robins and just don't have the heart to do it.

Wife of Bath said:

Absolutely this. Not being willing to compromise or hear the other person is unattractive in any surroundings. To me, it demonstrates low emotional intelligence.

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I agree. Wholeheartedly.

ChainedUp said:

I agree that persistence is good but isn't there a line where it just becomes annoying? That mosquito buzzing you, that dude is persistent but yet annoying as hell.

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It becomes annoying when you realize that person simply lacks consideration for others and/or is going overboard in the process.

There's a difference between being tenacious and being an aggressive, egotistical asshole.

ChainedUp said:

I agree that persistence is good but isn't there a line where it just becomes annoying? That mosquito buzzing you, that dude is persistent but yet annoying as hell.

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Well, not when I do it. When I do it, it's charming and flattering. But yeah, fuckin' mozzies!!!!

In some circumstances, persistence can be appreciated, not giving up on someone who has withdrawn for instance, with efforts made to help, not crush another. Tenacity can reap rewards but it may be at a cost, including professional or personal relationships. I have a certain admiration for those who can be persistent and tenacious to achieve something that is not solely for personal gain. This might get us back into the arrogance versus confidence debate again, but many people can employ such traits to good effect. Charitable fundraising comes to mind, and campaigning for social change.

In a partner or friend, an "I won't be denied" attitude might be playful, and appealing, but it can also be a precursor to more serious circumstances were that will, physical or emotional, is forced, and someone feels trapped or gets hurt. We here all see many references to a dark side in sexual activities and personas, the appeal of dominance and the effect many feel and enjoy when it is exercised. But we also know that abusive relationships take many forms. Empathy and emotional intelligence really would make the difference in how this trait was demonstrated and handled. Without that, I couldn't see a friendship or relationship continuing.

I'll finish on a reflection of seasonal change because the change from a harsh Winter to a bountiful Spring reminds us of the renewal of life, a prompt to refresh our minds and find peace and joy. For me, now, it's Summer to Autumn which I enjoy because there is beauty in the dying light...apples and stone fruits ripen and we see the golden hues of turning leaves, the heat and humidity give way to steady temperate days. I don't see the change of seasons as something which cannot be denied but something which can be embraced...differently across the year.

Bitesback said:

In a partner or friend, an "I won't be denied" attitude might be playful, and appealing, but it can also be a precursor to more serious circumstances were that will, physical or emotional, is forced, and someone feels trapped or gets hurt. We here all see many references to a dark side in sexual activities and personas, the appeal of dominance and the effect many feel and enjoy when it is exercised. But we also know that abusive relationships take many forms. Empathy and emotional intelligence really would make the difference in how this trait was demonstrated and handled. Without that, I couldn't see a friendship or relationship continuing.

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Very much this. Speaking from my experience, it was probably one of the traits that I found to be the most magnetic and attractive in him, the yang to my yin, if you will. That being said, it was the lack of empathy in those times when it became overwhelming, and sadly, yes, abusive.

It would have been nice to experience an empathetic side every now and again, for him to have had the ability to pick up on my feelings in certain situations, and to realize that what I truly needed in those moments was a little tenderness and understanding, maybe a bit of patience, even if ultimately it was still his decision to not be denied.

And, as far as the times when he became abusive... that, unfortunately, speaks for itself. I believe empathy would have been the very thing that would have kept it from ever happening.

Empathy could have been the very thing to have saved my marriage.

Did you all spring ahead, well all "us" Americans, anyway. Is there value in this yo-yo time ritual? Ahead, back, should there be just one time. Will you take advantage of the "Extra" hour of daylight today? Or does life march on without regard to daylight or time?

ChainedUp said:

Did you all spring ahead, well all "us" Americans, anyway. Is there value in this yo-yo time ritual? Ahead, back, should there be just one time. Will you take advantage of the "Extra" hour of daylight today? Or does life march on without regard to daylight or time?

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I think I lost an hour of daylight. I don't know that I really care too much about daylight savings. I will miss driving to work during the early sunrise - but I'll be able to sit on the porch for my coffee and enjoy it there. It's a pretty good trade as the weather changes. I know who likes this one - night shift. It's all our night shift could talk about all week.

I think it's much ado about nothing. I got 6 hours of sleep same as always. It gets in peoples heads, but it doesn't affect me at all.

I think it's a useless endeavor. Like you asked, life marches on regardless. I'm awake before sunrise anyway so it doesn't matter what the clock says. I read a while back that this was started to facilitate business. Whatever.

lovetopleasewomen said:

I think it's a useless endeavor. Like you asked, life marches on regardless. I'm awake before sunrise anyway so it doesn't matter what the clock says. I read a while back that this was started to facilitate business. Whatever.

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I don't think we actually gain the hour in the spring. I think we gain it in the autumn. So.. if you like to wake up early, and many of us do, you will gain a little extra sunlight with the "fall back"
In my personal life, I've seen it matter in sports. If you golf, throw a baseball, or run, it allows you to still do these things even though the rest of the world expects other things to be accomplished.

GiggLeGasm said:

In my personal life, I've seen it matter in sports. If you golf, throw a baseball, or run, it allows you to still do these things even though the rest of the world expects other things to be accomplished.

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I wonder if it still helps the farmers or if modern technology has made it an unnecessary practice at this point?

That being said, I will say, while I don't like it and wish they would stop, last week son started lacrosse practice. Practice started at 6pm and was supposed to go until 7:30... had to stop closer to 6:45 because it was so dark! So, looking forward to this week when the boys can have a full practice

ChainedUp said:

Did you all spring ahead, well all "us" Americans, anyway. Is there value in this yo-yo time ritual? Ahead, back, should there be just one time. Will you take advantage of the "Extra" hour of daylight today? Or does life march on without regard to daylight or time?

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My circadian rhythm doesn't change just because the numbers on the clock have moved- so I find it more of a bother than anything.

Well if nothing else, at least we'll get to watch The Walking Dead an hour earlier today.