JBJs BOOK REVIEWS: The Real Shit.

JAMESBJOHNSON said:

Dirty Money
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DIRTY MONEY by Donald Westlake, 276 pages.

Westlake wrote 24 Parker novels tween 1960 and 2008, when he died. DIRTY MONEY is the last book Westlake published, or close to it. DIRTY MONEY is the sequel to another Parker book in which Parker robs two plus million bux from 4 armor cars.

The Story: In this sequel Parker returns to Massachusetts to retrieve the millions he and the gang hid at an abandoned church in a rural area as they fled the police dragnet.

Westlake was pretty clever with the recovery of the money. Parker loaded a van with the money as the state police watched him do it and let him drive away. Parker had them convinced he and the others were homeless drunks (temps) paid to move 100s of old hymnals from the old church to a new church on Long Island. On the way to Long Island every POS in New York tried to steal the money from Parker.

But overall the book sucked. It sucked because all the cops guessed right all the time. Their wildest hunches were dead on the money every fucking time. But Parker was faster at pulling rabbits from his ass, and stayed ahead of the law.


PRAGUE FATALE by Philip Kerr 400 pages

This book is like #8 of the Bernie Gunther series. Bernard Gunther is a Berlin police detective during the Nazi era. The books generally begin with a murder and end with the death of a woman Bernie is involved with. In between he's seriously involved with one of the Nazi VIPs who demand Bernie's help squashing a major scandal. In this book Reinhard Heydrich is the VIP. Over the course of the series readers learn a lot about Goering, Goebbles, Himmler, Heydrich, Eichmann, and plenty of Nazi generals.

This book is remarkable for 2 reasons: It has more subplots than any book but the Bible, and Bernie's interactions with Reinhard Heydrich are fantastical and implausible. Youre compelled to wonder why Heydrich lets Bernie get away with the insubordination.

The Story: A Dutch worker is runover by a Berlin train and Bernie gets the case. Bernie examines the body and finds stab wounds on the body. Then Bernie rescues a Berlin prostitute from a thug. Bernie falls in love with the prostitute and takes her to Prague when Reinhard Heydrich orders Bernie to that city to be his body guard. Bernie's in town a day when one of Heydrich's adjutants is murdered. Heydrich orders Bernie to solve the murder. Its one thing after another till the end.

Always keep in mind that Heydrich is the smartest guy in the room and plays Bernie for a total fool until all is revealed at the end.

Most readers agree the book needed an editor to deal with all the subplots. Its tedious reading.
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

Donna Leon
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As a rule I don't care for female writers...period. But once in a blue moon I fall over a gal who has what it takes. And Donna Leon is the latest. She writes noir. And I'm impressed.

What impresses me is how well she knows men and mobs. Her male characters act like men NOT Chazz Bono. She taught English courses to soldiers, stationed in Italy, for 25 years, then started writing hard crime books set in Venice.

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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

When Is Enough, Enough?
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Where's your line before you let your writing obsession kick your butt?

My attitude is: I aint making a Swiss watch, I'm making a half ass story.


Who/what Influenced Your Writing?
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Hemingway blamed newspaper reporting for his style.

I blame 1980s Information Technology. Back in 1985 the state's word processor allowed 300 words, total, so I learned to use short words, abbreviations, and headlines. Ten years later we had 850 words to play with, and in 2005 we had 40 pages of space available.

Do You Sweat The Small Stuff
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I often sweat the small stuff when I read. Last night I read a paragraph that endowed a stairway with the power of ambulation, that is, the author made a claim about a stairway ascending from one level to a higher level. Birds ascend, airplanes ascend, kites ascend, cocks ascend, but stairways pretty much remain motionless unless a bomb explodes beneath them or a bomb falls atop them....then they rise or fall. So far as I know stairways connect one place to another, and that's about it.

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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

DEATH IN A STRANGE COUNTRY by Donna Leon, 1993, 373 pages

Its her 2nd novel about an Italian detective named Guido Brunetti of Venice. To date she's published 24 books about this detective. She writes well and the book hangs together well from start to finish. The only fault I found was her frequent digressions from the plot to reveal the characters. The quality of the writing is better than whats in most hard crime noir.

The Story: The Venice Police pull a dead body from the lagoon. Its a young US Army sergeant stabbed to death by an expert who knew where to stab. The young sergeant has a lover who's his commanding officer. The officer is an MD at a US Army hospital near Venice. She, too, dies within a few days of the sergeant. Guido Brunetti discovers about 5 pounds of cocaine concealed in the sergeants apartment.

The book is larded with red herrings, and more murders occur as Brunetti gets closer to the real issue and culprits. The crisis and resolution come at the tail end of the story.

Its 4 starz.


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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

I Dont Get It
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I have a theory about popular writers.

When a writer has 5 best sellers hanging from his belt he senses its time to jump the shark. It happens all the time.

I collided with one yesterday. Book #4 was a dream of broken glass thrills and violence worth 5 starz and more, then Book #5 is a lame lesbian love story of an opera diva and an art historian who hold hands and coo and sigh and drink gallons of Celestial Tea before shit happens. No nasty sex or shit, and both are beautiful. Ha! Who ever met a faggette who didn't look like Karl Rove! or Al Sharpton!
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

It Must Be Me.
________________________________________I took a look at stories an AH poster submitted.

The scores are high, far higher than my wares, but theyre uniformly shit. I lost interest within a paragraph or two, the writing cadence makes me think of the theme song to Pee Wee's Playhouse. Theyre larded with adverbs, and people don't talk like the writer's characters.

I didn't ONE SHOT the writer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKcYGOIJhqo

AM I WRONG?
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

Its LOVECRAFTS FAULT
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Reading a thread Lovecraft made it occurred to me that most LIT story characters are bland and generic. Real people have personalities, and real pathology is personality gone bad or wrong or astray. And few folks know how to depict the good, the bad, and the other.

So I'm gonna submit an essay-guide to make personality simple for writers to grasp and use.

Character Creation, Conflicts, And Personality
________________________________________Too many stories at LIT impress me as communion wafer bland and Barbie'ish. Theyre sitcoms, really, and far removed from forms like Charles Dickens or Tolstoy wrote. Imagine what could be done with Pip, Estella, and Miss Havesham if LIT allowed GREAT EXPECTATIONS to be eroticized! Or TURN OF THE SCREW, which is underage incest beneath its paint. Its GHOST performed by children.

Personality is an arena academics battle on. Personality types come and go depending on how the brainiacs vote when the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual shrinks use is updated. I don't keep up with it anymore. In my lifetime homosexuality has gone from a depraved mental disorder to chic. But to my way of thinking Gay remains a satellite of Masochistic and Sadistic Personality Types regardless of its social/political status at the moment. A century ago sex with kids wasn't a problem for most people. If your sister died you placed her girls at a whore house, and apprenticed her boys.

My point is: Personality TAGS come in political flavors while maintaining a set of traits that are real stereotypes in spite of PC angst against stereotypes. And if your writing skills are inferior to Shakespeare youll likely default to the stereotypes I plan to illustrate.

….ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY TYPES.

In a nutshell these people are criminals since childhood, or puberty if theyre females. They steal your heart, steal your wallet, steal your life. Rules and boundaries mean nothing to them. They open the door to opportunity the moment it knocks. Jail is their natural habitat. Theyre often addicts and alcoholics. ACT BEFORE YOU THINK, LEAP BEFORE YOU LOOK. Theyre impulsive.

When they have partners the partners are masochists, martyrs, and the devoted types who they cheat on: Teachers, nurses, therapists. They prefer sex with dramatic, mercurial, and antisocial personalities. Youre not likely to find them paired with vigilant, reclusive, weird, or obsessive people. Their ideal pair bond are pimp-hooker or cabbie-hooker.

Here's a real world scheme I knew of: The female, a psychologist, spent her career working at prisons. She wasn't beautiful but she was the only pussy in the place. So she fucked the most masculine inmates who then made her available to other men for stuff. That is, the bulls pimped her.

DRAMATIC PERSONALITY TYPE

"The Attention Whore." "Drama Queen."

These folks do whatever it takes to draw all the attention to themselves. Lady Gaga comes to mind. They invented provocation, attraction, and marketing. They flatter, seduce, flaunt, and exhibit themselves as much as it takes to capture your attention. But you may not get laid, because the show is the whole deal, AND theyre emotionally chameleons who cant find the right mood. We call that LABILE. Their feelings are all over the map. About the time you slip your cock in her she's ready for something else. And she was sincere about wanting to fuck, but that was then. Theyre not really teases to bust your balls, she simply changed her mind. There's so much to do and so little time for it all.

Attention whores prefer self confident narcissists. The narcissist isn't upset if other men fuck her or flirt with her, the others validate the narcissists good taste.

Who are the male drama queens and attention whores? Fags.

TO BE CONTINUED.

The Handle
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THE HANDLE by Donald E. Westlake

The Story: The Mob makes a deal with Parker to squash an ex-Nazi and Commie who runs a resort on an island owned by Cuba. Castro allows it because the operation pisses off the American government. The mob wants the resort destroyed because its serious competition for Mob gambling, prostitution, etc.

So a deal is made and next the American government picks up Parker and the gang, and threatens all of them with prison if they don't agree to capture the ex Nazi and bring him to the US after they destroy the resort. Its fertile soil for major treachery, and every Parker book features major treachery
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

AXE TO GRIND is an old expression.

In modern times the expression is the label for sinister folks with chips on their shoulders wanting justification to be violent or punitive. But in the Old Days it referred to folks who used social occasions for utilitarian outcomes, like sharpening dull axes. That is, manipulate others for free services.
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

Feedback
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I'm dinged for my feedback a lot but I almost never abuse LIT peeps like I abuse famous authors.....

Here is the sort of writing only a homosexual fine arts perfesser will enjoy.

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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

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THE PRICE OF SALT by Patricia Highsmith.

The book is her second published novel. STRANGERS ON A TRAIN was first.

Its 5 star stuff, and I don't like romance or Patricia Highsmith. But even if youre an old curmudgeon asshole like me, this book needs to be on your to do list ASAP.

Why? The salient characters are brilliantly detailed from their actions. You know Carol is alcoholic because liquor is at the top of her TO DO list. You know she's promiscuous because she has lotsa overnite guests, male and female, and how expertly she seduces Therese, the other prominent character.

The book is a bisexual romance totally different from whats out there. I sampled most of the BEST OF lesbian books, and they don't come close to this jewel.

WILD WIVES by Charles Willeford

An oldie by Charlie. It opens with some underage stuff LIT would never approve. Willeford always featured something inappropriate, to get the readers mind right with Jesus.

In a nutshell this book is a Raymond Chandler clone. A PI named Blake is hired by a woman to protect her from her dad's goons. She's 20 something, dad is old. She's a rich wild child. And it all ends badly, like a Chandler tale.

Willeford always added stuff that has nothing to do with the real story. Like the wanton teen. Like the queer who wants Blake to get rid of an obnoxious gay lover (and invites Blake to sleep over). All sideshows.

STONEWALL JACKSON and the AMERICAN CIVIL WAR by G.F.R. Henderson

5 Stars

Henderson published this massive biography in 1898.

I studied the Civil War for 54 years, and know the subject well. I wrote a paper on Jackson long ago. This is an incredible book. Its not really a biography, its an analysis of the political and military leaders of the war. Lincoln and Jefferson Davis fare poorly. There were 3 military leaders who rate GENIUS: Jackson, Robert E.Lee, and Ulysses Grant.

3 MONTHS IN THE SOUTHERN STATES by Col Arthur James Lyon Fremantle

Colonel Fremantle traveled to Mexico in 1863 to cross the border and observe the American Civil War first-hand. He was British and served with the Coldstream Guards.

It took him a full month to get from Brownsville to San Antonio, Texas, and the trip was an ordeal every bit of the way. The Rebel cavalry were the biggest, most violent men he ever came across. He met plenty of interesting people: Sam Houston, and the couple who owned the immense King Ranch, plus numerous generals exiled to South Texas. His journey took him thru Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, and Pennsylvania. He met everyone who mattered and was invited to go with Robert E.Lee to Gettysburg.

DEEP WATER by Patricia Highsmith 1957, 271 pages

The story of Melinda and Vic. Vic is a poetry publisher who uses his wealth to keep the plant open. He cares about people, and is well-liked by everyone but his wife. Melinda is a drunk, manic-depressive, and fucks every young guy who comes to town. She even brings them home. She makes Vic sleep in the garage.

Vic treats Melinda's lovers well. The whole town knows whats up.

10 North Frederick by John O'Hara.

Made into a movie starring Gary Cooper.

I own most of O'Hara's books and short stories. He was a popular, best-seller, but never won an award for anything. None of his books have happy endings, and this one starts out with the death of principal character Joe Chapin, followed by 100s of pages of back story.

O'Hara's books are about small town VIPs who fuck each other as they move up the ladder of success


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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

I Cant Do Faulkner or O'Hara
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God knows I tried.

Both wrote sublime prose, but their books are larded with too much inane loitering.

I closed the covers on all of them I was reading when I collided with a wedding present list in one of the popular O'Hara novels.

Fat *********
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The Feds determined 75% of ******** are obese. Do you plan to write about lardass ******?
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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

DILETTANTE vs AMATEUR FOR IDGITS
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Amateurs aren't paid, dilettantes are dabblers with or without training, experience, or knowledge of their particular interest.

Where To Begin With Lovecraft?
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Where Is The Place To Begin Reading H.p. Lovecraft?

Alls Well That Ends Well
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So I read the first ever Charles Willeford book, and it was excellent until the very end. I mean the last paragraph or so. And I wonder why he settled for a meh end rather than do better.

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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

Truman Capote's Thoughts About Stories.
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Since each story presents its own technical problems, obviously one can't generalize about them on a two-times-two-equals-four basis. Finding the right form for your story is simply to realize the most natural way of telling the story. The test of whether or not a writer has defined the natural shape of his story is just this: After reading it, can you imagine it differently, or does it silence your imagination and seem to you absolute and final? As an orange is final. As an orange is something nature has made just right.
Militant Lesbians
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So I'm reading a lesbian writer Naoko recommended, her name is Katherine Forrest.

Her writing is androphobic, that is it contains plenty of remarks about men that are immature...YUCK comes to mind. And I find the negative remarks curious. I think she protests too much. Sour grapes, maybe. Bull shit, possibly.

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JAMESBJOHNSON said:

Space Fillers.
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I read so much from the same category (hard crime noire) I now spot what I call SPACE FILLERS. Really anything that strays from the plot and isn't a bonafide subplot.

Gop Dwarfs Support Big Cocks On Girls
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The GOP leadership said today that all candidates but Donald Trump support 100% American girls having cocks and balls like American men. Questions about illegals and jobs were declined.

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