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nymphee said:
Sorry, my original post probably sounded really unpleasant- I wasn't meaning to imply that i don't want to mix with older people or that it's worse when you're younger, I'm more worried about people's reactions. I've known I've been this way since I was old enough to understand what it was, even when I was little I knew there was something different about me, but the few people "in the scene" that I do know are much older and think it's odd that I am so au fait with it. I don't want people to think I am just playing around, or going along because I want to be different or grown up.
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OK, I'm not at all sure how old you are, I could look at your profile but frankly it doesn't make ay difference.

Firstly You are not alone...

I was a lot like you for many years...

I know the sort of things that turned me on and I had been brought up to belive that any relationship required "equality" which was generally understood to mean you didn't tie your girlfriend up and hit her...

I had a REALLY hard time equating my Upbringing with my sexuality.

It was so wonderfull to discover that there were actually other peopl who shared my "kinkiness", not only that but there were girls out there who wanted to be tied up and hit or dominated in other ways...

Secondly, it's a bit like jumping in the swimming pool.

You wait and wait watching everyone else having fun. Sooner or later you have to get into the water. You screw up your courage and jump in...

A few minutes later you're just having fun and you wonder what the problem was...

It looks like a big step but it's not so bad after you take it.
 
nymphee said:
Sorry, my original post probably sounded really unpleasant- I wasn't meaning to imply that i don't want to mix with older people or that it's worse when you're younger, I'm more worried about people's reactions. I've known I've been this way since I was old enough to understand what it was, even when I was little I knew there was something different about me, but the few people "in the scene" that I do know are much older and think it's odd that I am so au fait with it. I don't want people to think I am just playing around, or going along because I want to be different or grown up.
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Hi Nymphee, from someone in her 50's who is also a newbie and on the other end of the scale for a beginner, I understand how you feel. I don't know what the scene is like where you live, but I've found the community get-togethers that I've gone to to be very welcoming, and the people open and supportive of newcomers... I hope that you'd have the same experience :D Neon
 
Thank you both for your advice. When I get back to the UK and I am back with my man permantly, I'm going to start looking into it, but I'm too scared to do anything about it when I'm so far away from anyone I really trust- It seems like tempting fate a little.
 
nymphee said:
Thank you both for your advice. When I get back to the UK and I am back with my man permantly, I'm going to start looking into it, but I'm too scared to do anything about it when I'm so far away from anyone I really trust- It seems like tempting fate a little.
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:cathappy: that's cool :)
 
nymphee said:
Thank you both for your advice. When I get back to the UK and I am back with my man permantly, I'm going to start looking into it, but I'm too scared to do anything about it when I'm so far away from anyone I really trust- It seems like tempting fate a little.
Click to expand...

Having a partner does make things a LOT easier...
 
nymphee said:
Thank you both for your advice. When I get back to the UK and I am back with my man permantly, I'm going to start looking into it, but I'm too scared to do anything about it when I'm so far away from anyone I really trust- It seems like tempting fate a little.
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I'd imagine that attending even 'just' a munch would be especially daunting if everyone around you was French ;-) Okay, that wasn't very funny. Deepest apologies to anyone who felt slighted. *um, is humour in poor taste allowed? Well, attempted humour?*

I think if you are hoping/planning? to be involved in the scene with your man, then you should wait til you are with him to attend. But yeah, it's scary 'cause you don't know anyone but as I think it was neon said, for the group to be held together, a few of the senior people are designated greeters and make sure the new people are welcomed, that things run smoothly and people feel comfortable and safe.

The usual reaction is palpable relief at the discovery that there are real people out there just like you. They are usually honest and helpful and remarkably friendly. When you finally take the plunge with your guy, I hope you'll share your experience here. It would be great for other newbies to read I'm sure.
 
nymphee said:
Sorry, my original post probably sounded really unpleasant- I wasn't meaning to imply that i don't want to mix with older people or that it's worse when you're younger, I'm more worried about people's reactions. I've known I've been this way since I was old enough to understand what it was, even when I was little I knew there was something different about me, but the few people "in the scene" that I do know are much older and think it's odd that I am so au fait with it. I don't want people to think I am just playing around, or going along because I want to be different or grown up.
Click to expand...

If I'd been born with the Internet, I suspect I would have been much younger going into all this. I see young people all the time coming into it here. I don't think it's that hard to understand at all. I wish to hell I'd known what I wanted and needed in this area and that it was okay much, much sooner!

Your orginal post was fine btw. Ageism is just one of my "red flag" issues. I hated it when I was young because most people discounted me or were only interested in my face and body. I hate it now because again some people discount me based on that alone only now they are more interested in my mind when I want to know my face and body are still hot. LOL!

BTW, the chance to meet hot Italian and French kinked men and women, who might understand me, would be an enticing thing to me. I went to my first munch alone, it was just people talking about mostly mundane things, eating and hanging out. I was so worried but it was cool. There was no pressure, it was warm and welcoming. They have remained that way as well, even at Demos and play parties I've attended. (Note: So far I do not play with anyone in public. That may or may not ever change.)

Fury :rose:
 
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FurryFury said:
If I'd been born with the Internet, I suspect I would have been much younger going into all this. I see young people all the time coming into it here. I don't think it's that hard to understand at all. I wish to hell I'd known what I wanted and needed in this area and that it was okay much, much sooner!

Your orginal post was fine btw. Ageism is just one of my "red flag" issues. I hated it when I was young because most people discounted me or were only interested in my face and body. I hate it now because again some people discount me based on that alone only now they are more interested in my mind when I want to know my face and body are still hot. LOL!

BTW, the chance to meet hot Italian and French kinked men and women, who might understand me, would be an enticing thing to me. I went to my first munch alone, it was just people talking about mostly mundane things, eating and hanging out. I was so worried but it was cool. There was no pressure, it was warm and welcoming. They have remained that way as well, evem at Demos and play parties I've attended. (Note: So far I do not play with anyone in public. That may or may not ever change.)

Fury :rose:
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Well, if the urge to go to a Parisian munch should arise, let me know- I'm supposed to be preparing to a career in interpreting and I'm always keen to increase my vocab, lol, now I sound like a personal ad.
As for the ageism thing, I understand completly. I am so sick of being grouped as immature and ignorant by adults, just because most 20year old english girls are. Discramination becuase of age, regardless of personality or wisdom is stupid.
Rant over.
 
FurryFury said:
If I'd been born with the Internet, I suspect I would have been much younger going into all this. I see young people all the time coming into it here. I don't think it's that hard to understand at all. I wish to hell I'd known what I wanted and needed in this area and that it was okay much, much sooner!

Your orginal post was fine btw. Ageism is just one of my "red flag" issues. I hated it when I was young because most people discounted me or were only interested in my face and body. I hate it now because again some people discount me based on that alone only now they are more interested in my mind when I want to know my face and body are still hot. LOL!

BTW, the chance to meet hot Italian and French kinked men and women, who might understand me, would be an enticing thing to me. I went to my first munch alone, it was just people talking about mostly mundane things, eating and hanging out. I was so worried but it was cool. There was no pressure, it was warm and welcoming. They have remained that way as well, evem at Demos and play parties I've attended. (Note: So far I do not play with anyone in public. That may or may not ever change.)

Fury :rose:
Click to expand...


I subscribe fully all the above you said .... and about (French and) Italian kinked people who might understand you ... I will remember to drop in for a beer when I will find myself to casually come in the deep south of United States .....lol :cool:

:rose: & hugs

PS welcome to all the new listers and a special thank you to Sir Nathan for the useful links he posted :) :rose:
 
Dragonteeth said:
Having a partner does make things a LOT easier...
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That depends. My husband wasn't really wanting to go (to a demo and play party our first) except to do so for me. He was pretty terrified of the whole thing especially of us seeing someone there that could ruin our careers with that sort of knowledge. I spent much of the time there more worried about him than anything. At the end of the night I was pretty elated about what I got out of it but hearing that he "hated" made me burst into tears.

I've been back since with friends and alone. He is usually working. When he is not our regular buds usually arrange a get together on those nights.

I started a thread about first munches once. It couldn't have been long ago since I'm so new, so fresh and so innocent. *smiles*

Ah, here it is:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=416815

Fury :rose:
 
nymphee said:
Well, if the urge to go to a Parisian munch should arise, let me know- I'm supposed to be preparing to a career in interpreting and I'm always keen to increase my vocab, lol, now I sound like a personal ad.
As for the ageism thing, I understand completly. I am so sick of being grouped as immature and ignorant by adults, just because most 20year old english girls are. Discramination becuase of age, regardless of personality or wisdom is stupid.
Rant over.
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I would love to but I've not got the time or money to visit Paris. Maybe someday.

*hugs*

Fury :rose:
 
babiesmiles said:
I subscribe fully all the above you said .... and about (French and) Italian kinked people who might understand you ... I will remember to drop in for a beer when I will find myself to casually come in the deep south of United States .....lol :cool:

:rose: & hugs

PS welcome to all the new listers and a special thank you to Sir Nathan for the useful links he posted :) :rose:
Click to expand...

Oh yes, I'd love that! :D

Fury :rose:
 
FurryFury said:
... I hated it when I was young because most people discounted me or were only interested in my face and body. I hate it now because again some people discount me based on that alone only now they are more interested in my mind when I want to know my face and body are still hot. LOL!

Fury :rose:
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I resemble that remark, LOL! ;) :rose:

And nymphee, also want to weigh in, your post was definitely fine! :D
 
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Just stopping by to say hello, is all. I'm a newbie here and interested in the lifestyle though not active outside of my current relationships, so hoping to meet people outside that circle. Soooo 'alo to everyone! :)
 
pipesoflirael said:
Just stopping by to say hello, is all. I'm a newbie here and interested in the lifestyle though not active outside of my current relationships, so hoping to meet people outside that circle. Soooo 'alo to everyone! :)
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Hi and welcome!

Take a look around. Enjoy.

Fury :rose:
 
Welcome! :rose:

pipesoflirael said:
Just stopping by to say hello, is all. I'm a newbie here and interested in the lifestyle though not active outside of my current relationships, so hoping to meet people outside that circle. Soooo 'alo to everyone! :)
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Hi, I am new here too. Have still to find out how thingd work.
Live in Amsterdam, single and adventourous.
Got enough experience, and even formal training by Belgian Master.
:kiss:
kien
 
kien_s said:
but i am learning
i hope

kien
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Welcome! And while you're learning, perhaps an explanation of your sig, which i find very, very cute. Reference to you or your pussies? ;)

(mine were just very, very bad, LOL)
 
kien_s said:
Hi, I am new here too. Have still to find out how thingd work.
Live in Amsterdam, single and adventourous.
Got enough experience, and even formal training by Belgian Master.
:kiss:
kien
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Welcome Kien.

Perhaps when you are comfortable you could share with others here 'what it is like' to receive formal training. I'm sure many would be interested. :)

Also I'm chuckling at the meaning of 'adventurous'. Seems to me that the difference between an adventurous vanilla guy and an adventurous Dom could be vast.

smiles
 
babiesmiles said:
I subscribe fully all the above you said .... and about (French and) Italian kinked people who might understand you ... I will remember to drop in for a beer when I will find myself to casually come in the deep south of United States .....lol :cool:

:rose: & hugs

PS welcome to all the new listers and a special thank you to Sir Nathan for the useful links he posted :) :rose:
Click to expand...

Waves and welcome. Glad the links were helpful.
 
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