Vanity Created this Personal Ad: Take Three

Another Sunday of cleaning house, doing laundry, and being single.

An excuse to put that crap off would be appreciated :cool:
 
Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news but in my experience (and only my experience, from myself and my female circles, which, of course, may be limited) women who have boobs, bring something to the table, enjoy the time they have, love dressing up as slutty super heroes not only for halloween but just for fun, give excellent blow jobs while he plays video games, and frequently tell hi what a big strong man he is; are generally attached. they really don't stay single long. often less than a day lol.


also, to bring more bad news, the blow jobs during video games, are often because he is beating us, and we don't want to lose, so we distract him. Either we simply don't lose and move on, or right after when he is still dazed, we can pick up the controller and take advantage of the fact he forgot what was going on and still not lose.

and more bad news, all the super hero costumes aren't cheap. don't side eye the credit card bill. (my favorite would still be less super hero, and just my simple Lara Croft)

oh and more bad news, the big strong man often comes with work he had to do, like fix our car, move heavy shit, or protect us from the giant scary bug that was thinking about coming right for us.

I do hope you somehow find your awesome unattached chick though... and make sure to always protect her from the giant scary creepy spider, keep smiling as she beats you in that video game, and always show that you enjoy the wonder woman shorts. move quick if you find her though, again attached is often very brief (and again this is just my experience)
 
Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news but in my experience (and only my experience, from myself and my female circles, which, of course, may be limited) women who have boobs, bring something to the table, enjoy the time they have, love dressing up as slutty super heroes not only for halloween but just for fun, give excellent blow jobs while he plays video games, and frequently tell hi what a big strong man he is; are generally attached. they really don't stay single long. often less than a day lol.


also, to bring more bad news, the blow jobs during video games, are often because he is beating us, and we don't want to lose, so we distract him. Either we simply don't lose and move on, or right after when he is still dazed, we can pick up the controller and take advantage of the fact he forgot what was going on and still not lose.

and more bad news, all the super hero costumes aren't cheap. don't side eye the credit card bill. (my favorite would still be less super hero, and just my simple Lara Croft)

oh and more bad news, the big strong man often comes with work he had to do, like fix our car, move heavy shit, or protect us from the giant scary bug that was thinking about coming right for us.

I do hope you somehow find your awesome unattached chick though... and make sure to always protect her from the giant scary creepy spider, keep smiling as she beats you in that video game, and always show that you enjoy the wonder woman shorts. move quick if you find her though, again attached is often very brief (and again this is just my experience)

My experience (just as myself and being very observant and being the "nice" guy women talk to) tell me the exact same thing.

Those women who have all of the above qualities are out there, I have met dozens of them, and they are always attached, soon to be attached, or lesbians.

Not that there is anything wrong with being attached, soon to be attached, or lesbian, but that doesn't really help me.

And this is about me! <nods>

Moving fast, killing bugs and spiders (I will do this, but I'd prefer capturing and then releasing them. I mean it isn't their fault!), and spending what is earned is fine advice.

Competition is fun. Losing isn't such a bad thing. Life is better when spent with someone worth distracting.

Also, as a side note, I don't know exactly how many hours I spent trying to find that "super secret room" in Tomb Raider that would cause the animated Ms. Croft to no longer have any clothes on, but it wasn't insignificant.
 
My experience (just as myself and being very observant and being the "nice" guy women talk to) tell me the exact same thing.

Those women who have all of the above qualities are out there, I have met dozens of them, and they are always attached, soon to be attached, or lesbians.

Not that there is anything wrong with being attached, soon to be attached, or lesbian, but that doesn't really help me.

And this is about me! <nods>

Moving fast, killing bugs and spiders (I will do this, but I'd prefer capturing and then releasing them. I mean it isn't their fault!), and spending what is earned is fine advice.

Competition is fun. Losing isn't such a bad thing. Life is better when spent with someone worth distracting.

Also, as a side note, I don't know exactly how many hours I spent trying to find that "super secret room" in Tomb Raider that would cause the animated Ms. Croft to no longer have any clothes on, but it wasn't insignificant.


Haha, I do appreciate someone who can stop and say "this is all about me. And yes, I expect offending bugs to be released. I mean seriously, if everything I didn't like had to killed, this planet would be dreadfully underpopulated. Though I will use bug spray if there is no big strong man to save me. Actually, one time a room full of guys and I are playing video games, I see a bug on the ceiling, drop my controller and run to the other room. I tell them to get it, and every single one says hold on, waiting for the round to be over. So I get a can, and spray the bug on the ceiling (I buy bug spray with a 20 foot range and use a frying pan shield in case it comes right for me). Anyway spraying the bug on the ceiling, results in a cloud of bug spray landing on all the guys. Then they are all offended, like fuck, I know you all have penises and that is a bug, one of you could have just accepted losing this round too, but no, make me take care of it, and bitch about how I do it. Dafaq. Lol.

See losing sucks, they chose poison over it, haha.

Haha, I actually didn't like tomb raider, I kept getting stuck in walls and shit, but hubby played it for hours and hours, hence me doing the Lara Croft outfit.

(Hopefully I am distracting you from your domestic shit a little, while you wait for your unicorn to answer, I am doing my best to avoid my domestic shit myself)
 
Haha, I do appreciate someone who can stop and say "this is all about me. And yes, I expect offending bugs to be released. I mean seriously, if everything I didn't like had to killed, this planet would be dreadfully underpopulated. Though I will use bug spray if there is no big strong man to save me. Actually, one time a room full of guys and I are playing video games, I see a bug on the ceiling, drop my controller and run to the other room. I tell them to get it, and every single one says hold on, waiting for the round to be over. So I get a can, and spray the bug on the ceiling (I buy bug spray with a 20 foot range and use a frying pan shield in case it comes right for me). Anyway spraying the bug on the ceiling, results in a cloud of bug spray landing on all the guys. Then they are all offended, like fuck, I know you all have penises and that is a bug, one of you could have just accepted losing this round too, but no, make me take care of it, and bitch about how I do it. Dafaq. Lol.

See losing sucks, they chose poison over it, haha.

Haha, I actually didn't like tomb raider, I kept getting stuck in walls and shit, but hubby played it for hours and hours, hence me doing the Lara Croft outfit.

(Hopefully I am distracting you from your domestic shit a little, while you wait for your unicorn to answer, I am doing my best to avoid my domestic shit myself)

Well, it is my ad. I mean...

I am happy that there are so many people who have attached themselves to one another and have found ways to be happy and shit...

That doesn't really help my cause, though. Not in any tangible sense.

Sure, kharma, and my time will come, and being mature, and blah blah blah.

But, boobs, ya know?

And, people will complain about almost anything. Of course, you could have simply waited for the round to end.

We all make choices :)

And, no doubt, anyone who stumbles across you is going to be distracted.

however, my laundry is done, I have been too and from Target since your last post, and I am about to eat some Chow Mein <nods>

I am not sure if that means I won, or lost this round.
 
I think you might be masochist? Might want to add it to the kinks.

Also...

Try a few dating sites; might work slightly better than a message board?
 
I think you might be masochist?

Some things have to be left unsaid...

Pity. I'm sure I could have provided a good beating. I occasionally have to feed my sadistic side :D

tumblr_p3lhlj4PiG1x4g3bno1_400.gif
 
Pity. I'm sure I could have provided a good beating. I occasionally have to feed my sadistic side :D

tumblr_p3lhlj4PiG1x4g3bno1_400.gif


Isn't more fun to find out that sort of thing while chatting?

I mean if you know I'd want you to be a bitch before you were a bitch wouldn't that just take all the fun out of it? :cool:
 
Isn't more fun to find out that sort of thing while chatting?

I mean if you know I'd want you to be a bitch before you were a bitch wouldn't that just take all the fun out of it? :cool:

Well, sometimes it's just hard to hide my bitch side, so I figure it better to just put it out front. Sometimes there are advantages to putting all of your cards on the table.

And no HBO tonight? Me, I'm going to watch Clueless for about the 34th time, there or abouts.
 
Well, sometimes it's just hard to hide my bitch side, so I figure it better to just put it out front. Sometimes there are advantages to putting all of your cards on the table.

And no HBO tonight? Me, I'm going to watch Clueless for about the 34th time, there or abouts.

Chris Rock's bit about playing all your cards at the start of a relationship still cracks me up every time.

OKCupid with their insane amount of questions kind of works in that way.

No HBO tonight, or any night really. I hear Westworld made it another season. I should probably go catch up on that.
 
The AC is out in my apartment.

Who wants to cuddle? :cool:
 
That sucks. Happened to me a couple of months ago, didn't have A/C for five days, I was fucking miserable. Hope you get it fixed soon.

Not yet. Maybe tomorrow.

I am, basically, lounging naked with ice packs all over me. So, there is a visual that should get this add a lot of attention.
 
Not yet. Maybe tomorrow.

I am, basically, lounging naked with ice packs all over me. So, there is a visual that should get this add a lot of attention.

Just had to say thank you for that visual.

Thanks.

:D ;)
 
So I think this is what you wanted bumped... I hope anyway. I think I'm a bit confused. What does vanity have to do with finding a connection on here or anywhere else for that matter?
 
So I think this is what you wanted bumped... I hope anyway. I think I'm a bit confused. What does vanity have to do with finding a connection on here or anywhere else for that matter?

It takes no amount of belief, one might even say vanity, that anyone would be interested in whatever it is I have to offer.

Plus, back when I made the ad, there was a little inside joke about the vanity of the people of Lit making so many demands on who could contact them. :)
 
Figured I'd give this just a little bump and see what might happen on a Sunday.
 
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